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Original poster

Oh bollocks. I've just signed up to a series of kids activity sessions. I'm 37 and I don't have kids

205 replies

HighKicking · 13/07/2023 12:13

I'm a member of a martial arts club that do adult and children's classes.

They sent an email yesterday with different summer offers.

One of their offers was six activity sessions (martial arts based sessions and more general social sessions) over July and August. The activities are: A craft afternoon, A movie evening, A sparring workshop, A small-group training session, and A trip to a local adventure playground.

I thought it looked great and so I signed up.

Then I forwarded onto a friend who pointed out that it's for children to keep them entertained over the six weeks holidays. It's not intended for 37 year-old, professional, child-free women.

In my defense (geddit) - I've done loads of non-martial arts stuff with the women's class including craft evenings, book groups, trips out etc. Plus, I kind of forget that the club does children's classes because I'm never there when the kids are going in or out. So, I'm telling myself it was an easy mistake to make.

I need to ring the club and tell them I want to cancel but I feel like such a bloody twat.

I can't lie and tell them I booked it for a child who's changed their mind. They know I don't have a child. Bollocks.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
NoGolfForMe · 13/07/2023 19:24

BearLoves · 13/07/2023 13:01

I organised a group of us to go to a village fete (in the deepest darkest depths of Cornwall) where they’d advertised a fancy dress competition with judging at the end of the fete. Me and 8 others turned up (via hired minibus) in full scale fancy dress to realise it was just for the kids. We had to stay till the end because we’d spent so much on it but the locals totally ignored our fancy dress efforts come judging. It was 16 years ago and I can still see their faces as we walked into the village pub and then my mates’ faces too.

Wondered for a moment if I knew you and you'd changed a few details... I was part of a group who did something very similar! The really embarrassing bit was the organiser explaining earnestly that although our costumes were amazing, it wasn't really fair on the kids to give us a prize... We were just dying of embarrassment.

This whole thread is adding to a general idea I had that there should be a thing like nursery school but for adults. Could possibly market it as a £££ alternative therapy or team-building type thing.😂 Bit of playing with water and sand, some good climbing frames and trips out to places. Lovely!

LaviniasBigBloomers · 13/07/2023 18:39

I was 20 when this happened, but me and a friend went to her parents' timeshare once on our own, I'd never been anywhere like that before. I accidentally signed up for a children's shooting activity - (now I type that I realise the fact it was for children wasn't the only thing wrong with it). Anyway, I turned up, every one else was under 14 but because I was still quite young and gauche I didn't realise I should have made my excuses and left.

I did the whole thing then my friend came and met me and pissed herself laughing. But because it was a time share (the parents went the same week every year with many of the same people) it became a 'thing' and 15 years later her folks were still coming back saying 'oh tell Lavinia such and such were wondering how you're getting on with your target shooting.'

And I still think you should go OP!

LookItsMeAgain · 13/07/2023 18:28

HighKicking · 13/07/2023 17:07

@Callmesleepy We have a pottery painting night locally called "Pots and Pinot".

I went to a creative writing evening once called "Wines and Rhymes". Given the name and the incorrect grammar in it, we expected it to be quite jolly and light-hearted. It was not. The man running it was a right po-faced tosser who fancied himself as some kind of James Joyce reincarnation. He was very unimpressed when my friend's creative writing was some steamy erotic fiction, and when my creative description of grass (our warm-up task) was basically "It's green and sometimes has weeds in it"

That's genuinely break your sides laughingly funny! 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

SirKurtBored · 13/07/2023 18:22

One of my friends signed up to a goalkeeper class - he’s six feet five so thought he would be a natural.

he was more than three feet taller than every other person there #under8s

DaisyThistle · 13/07/2023 18:19

HighKicking · 13/07/2023 14:42

Oh jeez, how did you get hold of my passport photo?!

Show quote history

😂😂😂

Dumbonellyfant · 13/07/2023 18:17

OP Ballie Ballerson or Oxygen trampoline parks might be up your street

LuckOfTheDrawer · 13/07/2023 18:16

I sometimes see really nice clothes on FB, then find out they're actually kids clothes 😄.

Dogsitterwoes · 13/07/2023 18:14

One of the best work do's I've been to was private hire of a soft play centre.

Davros · 13/07/2023 18:10

I thought years ago that there is a market for soft play centres to be open to adults, with plenty of alcohol. I hired one once for DS's birthday and he, and most of the other kids there, were autistic so lots of adults had to go in with them and they all enjoyed it

Fiona341 · 13/07/2023 18:01

I love this. I think they'll be very complimented that you were so taken by it and it might inspire them to do similar for adults which could only be a good thing!

This reminds me of once when we were in our early 20's, my DH (we were together then but hadn't moved in together yet) had just graduated as a probationer teacher, moved into a flat himself in a small village, and had got a new pet house rabbit to keep him company, who was a proper little character.

He heard there was a village pet show and in the spirit of joining in in his new community went along with the rabbit, only to discover once it was too late to back out that it was very much for kids. He ended up getting placed and had to stand with all the kids - some of whom were ones he'd just started teaching. Grin It's one of my favourite memories to make me laugh...

We kept the rabbit's rosette though (2nd place, he narrowly lost out to a turtle Grin) all the years we were lucky enough to have him. Smile

MannyTeddy · 13/07/2023 17:57

These are all phenomenally hilarious! Thank you so much everyone for sharing. I've had tears rolling down my face laughing. Thanks 😂😂😂

Dumbonellyfant · 13/07/2023 17:40

Just explain you now publicly identify with your inner child and see what they make of it - in these types of cockups when I make them there's two options - double down or fess up. Fessing up might not get you on the zip wire so think carefully 😉

CloverHilla · 13/07/2023 17:32

Youcunnyfunt · 13/07/2023 16:43

Omg I'm cry laughing in the office 😂😂😂😂

This thread is amazing and is the best part of today

I'm nominating this for Classics!

Hope do you nominate @Youcunnyfunt ?

CloverHilla · 13/07/2023 17:29

Oh my, this thread has me in stitches all day! I keep coming back for more 🤣😄
Not sure whose story is the funniest, there's too many!

CC4712 · 13/07/2023 17:16

Is this you OP? 😂

Oh bollocks. I've just signed up to a series of kids activity sessions. I'm 37 and I don't have kids
Oh bollocks. I've just signed up to a series of kids activity sessions. I'm 37 and I don't have kids
Oh bollocks. I've just signed up to a series of kids activity sessions. I'm 37 and I don't have kids
Xrays · 13/07/2023 17:10

Not quite the same thing but when my dd was 2.5 I signed her up to baby ballet. She didn’t want me to leave and stand over with the other parents at the side so I stayed with her and just carried on doing the class with her and the other toddlers 🙈😊 felt like a complete tool but the teacher found it hilarious and dd enjoyed the class ….. !

Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 17:10

forgotmyusername1 · 13/07/2023 17:09

my friend hired a soft play after hours for her 18th birthday party
we were drunk going down the slides and in the ball pit

still one of the best parties I have ever been to

What a fabulous idea. I've been wondering what to do for my 40th actually.

OP posts:
forgotmyusername1 · 13/07/2023 17:09

my friend hired a soft play after hours for her 18th birthday party
we were drunk going down the slides and in the ball pit

still one of the best parties I have ever been to

Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 17:07

@Callmesleepy We have a pottery painting night locally called "Pots and Pinot".

I went to a creative writing evening once called "Wines and Rhymes". Given the name and the incorrect grammar in it, we expected it to be quite jolly and light-hearted. It was not. The man running it was a right po-faced tosser who fancied himself as some kind of James Joyce reincarnation. He was very unimpressed when my friend's creative writing was some steamy erotic fiction, and when my creative description of grass (our warm-up task) was basically "It's green and sometimes has weeds in it"

OP posts:
Callmesleepy · 13/07/2023 16:55

This is both hilarious and very very understandable. Why would you think they'd randomly start emailing you about activities you'd done before that were now suddenly not for your age group?

There are plenty of craft afternoons for grown ups round here, we call them things like paint and pinot...

Original poster
HighKicking · 13/07/2023 16:55

@MsFogi Whenever I say to DP "I'd love to try [insert random child's activity]", we always agree that there's probably a class/club/opportunity in London somewhere 😂

The owner of a gym I used to go to organised a sports day a couple of years ago. Adults only. There were some proper competitive races but also egg and spoon, sack race, beanbag race etc. It was absolutely amazing.

OP posts:
MsFogi · 13/07/2023 16:52

To be honest - there is a bit of a gap in the market, I would love to be able to sign up to have a bash at a variety of activities!

ErrolTheDragon · 13/07/2023 16:48

Backstreets · 13/07/2023 16:29

Agree it looks brilliant 😁maybe martial arts and crafting summer activities for childfree women could be a money spinner??

Why just for child free ones though? I'm sure plenty who've got kids would love it if the kids did other activities at the same time leaving them free to play without having to be the responsible adult!

Youcunnyfunt · 13/07/2023 16:44

Sallyh87 · 13/07/2023 13:04

I once entered a childrens fun run, my husband was doing a half marathon and there was an additional 1 mile fun run, I thought why not and signed up. I got as far as going to the sign in desk on the day got my number etc. Got a very strange look from the desk lady (which I thought was because I was a bit fat and she didn’t think I could run a mile 😂).

Went to the start line and realised it was just a large group of 5 - 10 year olds. I did not run, mostly because I was afraid I’d come last 😄.

😂😂

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