Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU to ask you to talk me out of cancelling this date tonight?

291 replies

Posypointshoes · 17/04/2023 18:28

I’ve name changed for this because the background is incredibly outing.

I have a date tonight with someone I’ve liked for YEARS but I am absolutely bricking it.

We knew each other as children, we used to dance together. We did ballroom and competed so spent a LOT of time together and were very close, stayed close during our teens, then we went to separate universities and stayed in touch.

we had a falling out when I stopped dancing and he wanted to continue and didn’t speak for several years, then got talking again - by which point we were both married to other people. We stayed very loosely in touch but not close like we used to be.

neither marriage worked out - nothing to do with each other.

We’ve been talking again, and he asked me out on a date/for a drink tonight and I’ve been really looking forward to it as I really like him.

the thing is I haven’t seen him for ages. I was always in amazing shape from dancing when I was younger, but while not in bad nick I’m not like I used to be. I feel old! And like I have nothing interesting to say. I’ve lost all my confidence and I’m worried I’ve built him up in my head over the years to be something he’s not.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, I really like him. But I also just want to stay at home!!

OP posts:
Bunnyhair · 17/04/2023 19:38

CrystalMaisie · 17/04/2023 19:32

If you like each other and live close enough, could you take classes again? Give you a chance to get to know each other again, without dating pressure?

I love this idea! It should be made into a film.

TheChosenTwo · 17/04/2023 19:37

placemarking for the post date debrief! I’ve never really had a date so I’m here living vicariously through you 😂

murasaki · 17/04/2023 19:37

Have a lovely time.

Ontobetterthings · 17/04/2023 19:35

Sending best wishes! I hope you have an amazing evening. You will be fine when you get there

CrystalMaisie · 17/04/2023 19:32

If you like each other and live close enough, could you take classes again? Give you a chance to get to know each other again, without dating pressure?

Pieceofpurplesky · 17/04/2023 19:31

Hope you have a fabulous catch up!

Oysterbabe · 17/04/2023 19:30

I'm just place marking for the update 😁
Good luck!!

AreYouHavingAGiraffeNoItsACamel · 17/04/2023 19:29

Do not leave this thread incomplete OP 😃

GoodChat · 17/04/2023 19:28

OP he'll be older now too. Or, more experienced Grin good luck!

WhatelseotherthanADs · 17/04/2023 19:27

Lol if you do end up in a relationship will you confess that half of mumsnet were eagerly awaiting the outcome of your first date 🤣

troppibambini6 · 17/04/2023 19:27

Good luck! I'm here for the update...

lala2023 · 17/04/2023 19:26

You have the good wishes of a whole load of mumsnetters wishing you well !

Rebelmcstreettuff · 17/04/2023 19:25

Please update OP,I have butterflies for you 😀

piedbeauty · 17/04/2023 19:23

Ooh good luck, op! Have a great time! And update us...

Augend23 · 17/04/2023 19:23

Have an amazing time (and come back after to tell us how it went)!

Beach11 · 17/04/2023 19:22

Hope it goes well op. X

Macmeme · 17/04/2023 19:21

Please go and put on here how it went 😘 if you don’t go you’ll no doubt regret it x

Danielle8p · 17/04/2023 19:19

@Posypointshoes make sure you update throughout the date and after! I NEED to know how it's going.. I love this x

determinedtomakethiswork · 17/04/2023 19:17

You should definitely go! I'm really looking forward to hearing how it went, and wish you all the best.

Posypointshoes · 17/04/2023 19:13

Thank you. You’ve calmed me down a lot. I’m nearly ready. I have a (small) glass of wine. I don’t have to leave until twenty to. Thinking about it as a catch up has made me chill out a tiny bit

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 17/04/2023 19:04

Go and catch up with an old friend OP. Let us know how it goes!

TheStrangestTimes · 17/04/2023 19:01

Go!

Agree with pp who said to treat it as a catch up, it will take the pressure of for you.

He's obviously never forgotten you... After all this time, now you are both single, he wants to meet...

Maybe it will only ever be friends, maybe it will be more. But you lost touch once before, you don't want that to happen again (unless of course you discover he's changed and isn't quite the lovely bloke you used to fancy anymore - but there's only one way to find out).

Go, and have fun. Fingers crossed for you OP.

Nowvoyager99 · 17/04/2023 18:49

Remind yourself that meeting up is as much about you assessing whether he’s someone you want to pursue a friendship or relationship with, not the other way round.

I hope it goes really well ❤️❤️❤️🪩

OnedayIwillfeelfree · 17/04/2023 18:47

Just go and enjoy yourself! You are not committing yourself to him by going out for an evening. Have a lovely time!

60smusic · 17/04/2023 18:46

You'll be fine.

A good friendship usually picks up from where it left off. It sounds like you had a great friendship.

Don't over think whether it's a date or a meet up, just view it as meeting your friend who you haven't seen in a while. Chances are the minute you see each other, all fears go out the window and you'll both be just very happy to see each other.

Get yourself ready, put on some music have a small drink, go and enjoy your night, don't have any expectations, just enjoy the moment.

He'll have changed too and will probably be having the same thoughts. Remember we're our own worst critics.

Enjoy

Swipe left for the next trending thread