Page 10 | How do I remove sinister Santa outfit from a cactus?

YesitsBess · 2023-04-14T17:52:01+00:00

My lovely sister got this little darling thing for my teenage son for Christmas. He loves it, as do I. However having gone *way* past 12th night we would now like to update his wardrobe/allow him to go 'au natural'. Also he looks quite menacing and the other plants are a bit scared. I've tried gently pulling the hat, no joy. I've tried tweezers on the grumpy eyes, I ended up with my other hand covered in prickles. It is not glued on or secured by any other method I can see. Does anyone have any intimate knowledge on how to disrobe a festive novelty cactus? Thanking you in advance.

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 20:39

You know what we've all forgotten, don't you?

There are people out there whose job it is to put this stuff ON the cacti. We are ridiculing their sterling efforts.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:36

potatowhale · 14/04/2023 20:25

I love this thread.

I have a cactus that had a fake flower stuck on it. After 2 years the fake flower fell off and left a nasty gluey blob. Anyway, it fell off after my stepdaughter gave the cactus a bath. I think you need to soak it.

Cactus bath. Noted!

You'll all have to speak up for a bit. I'm cooking mince.

OP posts:

hexsnidgett · 14/04/2023 20:36

Pootle

How do I remove sinister Santa outfit from a cactus?

AngryGreasedSantaCactus · 14/04/2023 20:33

I'm also mildly concerned about the Similar Threads suggestions

"Cactus: battle scarred or diseased"
"How did you get rid of your child's dummy?"
"Impossible gift from FC - a parasaurolophus costume"
"Where to find a Santa hat?"

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:33

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 19:55

About 6 years ago adult DD rather foolishly bought a Christmas cactus on a garden centre visit. Said cactus had googly eyes and a glittery red pom-pom nose stuck (extremely) firmly to it.

I've just been to look at him, languishing as he does on my kitchen windowsill. He still has his artificial appendages. Now, the thing is... when cacti grow, they grow from the top upwards, so he is now quite tall, but his eyes and nose remained near the bottom, where they now resemble... er... another sort of appendage, let's put it that way.

How did I miss this?

And secondly yes of course we need photos!

OP posts:

FofD · 14/04/2023 20:33

Forks.

It's how you re-pot cacti as well.

WitcheryDivine · 14/04/2023 20:29

Rutaceae · 14/04/2023 20:28

How about cutting up the outfit a bit and then placing the cactus in a vessel and then creating a vacuum so the shredded santa clothes get sucked off. That would save your fingers from the prickles.
The obvious vacuum creating choice is, well, to use a vacuum, but you could go old school and put the cactus in a bell jar with a flame.

DO NOT GO SUCKING OFF CACTUSANTA

AngryGreasedSantaCactus · 14/04/2023 20:29

If you put Angry Greased Santa Cactus into MN Advanced Search, there are over 10k hits!

I'm not sure if that tells us more about the workings of AS, or of MNetter predilections

WitcheryDivine · 14/04/2023 20:28

notprincehamlet · 14/04/2023 20:15

Play him some Tom Jones and he'll take it off himself? (Although he might leave his hat on.)

In the sad absence of Spiky Bunbuns I'll accept this as a plan B

DannyZukosSmile · 14/04/2023 20:28

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 18:56

I don't possess two sets of tweezers. Hmmmm. What will pass for tweezers in an emergency such as this?

Can you cut the spines? I'm worried about upsetting him further. He already seems quite cross.

Go and buy some tweezers. They're a quid!

Rutaceae · 14/04/2023 20:28

How about cutting up the outfit a bit and then placing the cactus in a vessel and then creating a vacuum so the shredded santa clothes get sucked off. That would save your fingers from the prickles.
The obvious vacuum creating choice is, well, to use a vacuum, but you could go old school and put the cactus in a bell jar with a flame.

potatowhale · 14/04/2023 20:27

Grimeduster · 14/04/2023 20:13

Where can I buy an angry Christmas cactus knob? I feel like I'm missing out.

They usually appear at christmas markets and supermarket shelfs

potatowhale · 14/04/2023 20:25

I love this thread.

I have a cactus that had a fake flower stuck on it. After 2 years the fake flower fell off and left a nasty gluey blob. Anyway, it fell off after my stepdaughter gave the cactus a bath. I think you need to soak it.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:23

notprincehamlet · 14/04/2023 20:15

Play him some Tom Jones and he'll take it off himself? (Although he might leave his hat on.)

This is the quality content I come to MN for. Hats off!

Morgan Freeman Applause GIF by The Academy Awards

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:22

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 20:14

We're watching TOTP 1994 and it's shit. I need all the distraction I can get 😂

OP - genuine cactus advice alert Take a sheet of newspaper. Fold it multiple times into a long thin strip. Pass around cactus and hold ends together. Cactus is restrained, and prickles cannot pass through newspaper.

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I HAVE A NEWSPAPER! THAT IS A THING I HAVE!

SCOOOOOOOOORE!

OP posts:

inshitsville · 14/04/2023 20:20

This thread is gold.

I'd be getting the scissors out. You may end up with a few amputated cactus limbs though.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:19

Grimeduster · 14/04/2023 20:13

Where can I buy an angry Christmas cactus knob? I feel like I'm missing out.

Let me ask my sister. One moment please caller.

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:18

LauraSaidIShouldBeNicer · 14/04/2023 20:10

Am totally over invested and need to see this naked cactus!!

He's currently in his Pootle hat whilst I consider all the options.

I will send some kind of alert when I have all the information have drunk enough wine to initiate the delicate disrobing operation.

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:16

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 20:08

I will knit him a hat tomorrow, with Pom Pom.

I’m getting in trouble with the family, we’re watching the da Vinci code and apparently my laughter as a result of this thread is inappropriate.

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Cheat code: Innocent smoothies supply you with a free cactus hat with every purchase!

There's no such thing as inappropriate festive-cactus-related laughter. It's entirely appropriate.

OP posts:

notprincehamlet · 14/04/2023 20:15

Play him some Tom Jones and he'll take it off himself? (Although he might leave his hat on.)

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 20:14

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 20:08

I will knit him a hat tomorrow, with Pom Pom.

I’m getting in trouble with the family, we’re watching the da Vinci code and apparently my laughter as a result of this thread is inappropriate.

Show quote history

We're watching TOTP 1994 and it's shit. I need all the distraction I can get 😂

OP - genuine cactus advice alert Take a sheet of newspaper. Fold it multiple times into a long thin strip. Pass around cactus and hold ends together. Cactus is restrained, and prickles cannot pass through newspaper.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:13

WitcheryDivine · 14/04/2023 20:04

What if you got another cactus and dressed it as the Easter Bunny? Put them opposite each other.

Confronted with his mortal enemy he will soon disrobe in order to avoid the Wrath of Bunbuns.

This is an option. However even when I went to the garden centre today to get a new pot for a Zebrina that had fainted (long story) there weren't any Easter bun bun Cacti on sale.

I checked. I'm a sucker for a half-dead and unseasonably dressed bit of foliage me. Had a massive score of 50p Begonias after Mother's day. 50p!

OP posts:

Grimeduster · 14/04/2023 20:13

Where can I buy an angry Christmas cactus knob? I feel like I'm missing out.

LauraSaidIShouldBeNicer · 14/04/2023 20:10

Am totally over invested and need to see this naked cactus!!

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:10

Cherrysoup · 14/04/2023 19:53

Does it have one of those things to get stones out of horses’ hooves? I reckon that’d work.

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Sadly not. We did have one with several bells and whistles but it got confiscated at an airport and I'm still annoyed with the idiot who thought it would be fine to try and take it to bloody Mexico.

It was not fine.

And now I'm rendered useless in all emergency farrier situations.

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