To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

I asked one of the lads at work to wash up his own lunch pots. He replied, “I don’t even do that at home…”

He won’t be saying that again!

I am a higher level qualified towel folder, duvet changer and mop operative.
This is to free DH's time up to allow him to complete in 6 Nations Rugby, Formula One and International Football. Armchair disciplines only.

I rather lost the plot last week, and lobbed some very sarky whatsapp remarks to dh and dd that it might surprise them, but it doesn't take a vagina that has pushed babies out to 1. notice the toilet bins are full, or 2. empty the bloody things. With a few more things added in. . .

I got wine and flowers when he got home.

I got my BSc in Picking Shit Up, then went on to specialise for my MSc in Seeing and Picking Up Hair Bobbles. My dissertation was actually entitled Studies on Wrestling a Hair Bobble from a Sneaky yet Very Determined Feline

I have PhD in "where is everybody's everything"

Apparently this means I have the only pair of functioning eyes in the household.

I am skilled in The Art of Finding Things. Like a beagle at the airport, I am.

No cheese can hide in the fridge from me. Even if it somehow disguises itself so no mere mortal man can see beyond the mimicry, I can pick it out no problem at all. It must be my XX chromosomes.

Anyone who leaves a) empty toilet roll tube b) used water bottle c) balled up socks d) any foodstuff wrapper, will find same inserted into their bed. No prisoners.

I did the women-only nappy changing course before our kids were born. So obviously that put dh at a disadvantage.

I'm a solicitor and so are most of my colleagues, but a surprising number of them obviously missed the module on How to Change the Toner in the Printer.

What professional skills have you all unknowingly acquired?

The reverse of this - apparently I cannot wash up correctly. I am unqualified in washing up.

When I gave birth I was secretly handed the manual for the child. I am the only one who has read it. I know everything and can answer ALL questions.

I am also a professional finder of all items in the house. I know where all DH’s socks, pants, shoes, van keys, work things are despite never personally using them.

I actually cannot do this. Our holder is so stiff that only DH has strong enough fingers to change them. One day I will buy a new holder. Maybe.

No qualifications here but I'm learning to become the housekeeper from hell!
I've suddenly stopped noticing oh's dirty laundry piles and refuse to bring them down to the washing machine. If it's not in the hamper it's not getting washed!

BlueBell50 DH was a very high level, hands-on scientist all his working life but still struggles with toilet roll changing. Taking the empty cardboard tube downstairs to the recying bin is a job only a skilled woman can do.

I am brilliant at laundry management, PhD level at least.

Knowing when stuff happens by reading the fucking calendar. And similarly related, being organised for said events.

DH is in charge of cat litter tray and he is only happy with his dishwasher stacking.

I'm far from fully qualified, more like an NVQ in general domestic life and animal care. OH though is a lecturer/ assessor on all those topics, quick to correct where I, or our cleaner, could do better next time.

He's the embodiment of the saying"those who can do, and those who can't, teach!"
(no offence to actual teachers who are fab X)

I am not sure where to start, however DH has an equal amount of professional qualifications in other areas, so all in all, it works out pretty well. Sometimes we each let one of the amateurs or unqualified to have a field day as neither of us are very precious about our gained by experience ‘professional qualifications’ 😃

I'm skilled in many areas, we are off on holiday today and DH asked how many pairs of boxer shorts does he need, then moaned as it would be easier if I packed for him (last time he forgot tshirts) I had to remind him im not his mother, then reminded him that was the only thing he had to do as I had packed the dogs things to go to the respective family members who are looking after them and done the housework while he was looking for his snorkeling mask.
I'm also an expert finder of things that I haven't mislaid.

Oh yes, and an MBA in reminding him to do his tax return and deal with his car tax and insurance ( not my car, I don't drive, and am PAYE).

I am an actual professional cleaner. This prevents anyone but me operating cleaning products under our roof.

I'm an expert botanist and I'm able to water plants just by dint of my incredible ability to fill a watering can and administer to the various plant life in our home.

I've also got a PhD in toilet shit stain management. AMA...🙄

I am also the household milk monitor. It was more fun at school when I was 6.

I know where everything is; even things that he has packed in his work bag! And I can recall it with such speed that it makes even trying to look for it pointless. 💁‍♀️

I have a BA Hons in 'picking shit up that dh leaves lying around him in little piles'.

A PG qualification in noticing the floor needs sweeping and cat litter tray maintenance studies.