To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

Hehe. Your DH is me. I'm the ONLY one who can open and close curtains correctly around here. You should see some of the disasters I've witnessed from both DH AND DD.
Total curtain carnage.

Aw shit...I did my doctorate on that but the title was slightly different...it ended with "....and swearing like a sailor"....I wonder if that will go against me now??

I have amazing eyesight that I can see the small print from the far side of the kitchen on the packet dh is holding so I can tell him how to heat or cook said product in the packet
or dh could just read it himself
Also I have memorised every single item in the fridge so I can find anything even if it is not staring me in the face and but especially when it's staring me I'm the face ok dh but he always finds the item I'm trying to hide. Why is that?

When my grandson was born and we had him to stay my DH never changed his nappy.

Now he's older and grandad is his favourite he won't let anyone else but DH wipe his bum in our house - karma 😏

Well I thought I was an expert in Doing Laundry having done said laundry for approx 35 years.

But no. DH told me the other that I am putting too much laundry powder in the dispenser and not washing my whites on the correct setting.

Who knew? He is a genius.

I have a Gold Star in dusting in our house, DH says he can never work out which is the right side of a duster. And i dont believe he has ever used an iron in his life. He now believes he is chief vaccuumer in our house as we have one of those robotic thingies (DH's idea) which he has to work by pressing the remote controller. In fairness though he's very handy around the house, I can't complain.

I have a 1st class Honours in moving things when looking for something. I try to impart this knowledge to DP but it seems to be too complicated for him.

I can hand wash and air dry fingerless gloves after my homemade yogurt bottle, had an erruption of gargantuan proportions it was like Mt Vesuvius.......yogurt bomb, quite an outburst.......all over my gloves.

....and me.

I am wearing one glove now and its' friend is drying on a airer, next to an open window.

I'm pretty pleased with myself to be honest.

🤣😅

I may need to invest in a deep sea diving kit for next time.

I am the only one in the household to have gained the prestigious and highly regarded Potterton Prize in Programming the Heating and Hot Water. I'm also a black belt in Sorting the Dirty Laundry into Loads and Working Out Which Washing Cycle To Use. I have an actual PhD too, but obviously that's much less important.

I’m the only person in the house qualified enough to undertake a task so niche that no-one else even knew it needed doing, before I enlightened them, namely - cleaning the shower trap. If I ever suggest someone else might like to have a go, it’s as if I’ve asked them to perform open heart surgery.

Apparently only I I have the finesse, expertise and patience to dismantle the contraption, and fish about in it soaking up the murky water and disentangling the gunk-covered skeins of hair to be found within. <proud >

When I was at school a boy told our female art teacher that he wouldn't wash up his painting stuff because it was womens work. The response was epic!!!

I certainly don't have the hoovering qualification. It is strictly my DH's job, the hoover was his Christmas present and he gets this daft little grin when it swivels round corners. I'm never sure how to turn it on and definitely don't know how to charge it.

He insists I'm incapable of opening or closing curtains "properly" too and will rearrange them afterwards.

I also have unique cat wrangling skills that means feeding, grooming, litter tray emptying, vomit mopping and vet visits can only be done by me.

I can’t believe nobody else on here has got the most prestigious qualification of all - a PhD in Loo Cleaning. Only I have achieved this is in my house, it’s such a tough one to pass.

My PhD is in nutrition... Specifically Variance of ingredients and preparation methodology of Dunno and Whateveryoufancy.

I have an NVQ in finding things in the hardware shop that dh had forgotten he needed. I also am an expert on where everyone's belongings are hiding.
Unfortunately I don't know how to stack the dishwasher, shame.

I got reprimanded today for not chopping kindling correctly out of some sawn up planks. It turns out however I am expert at axe-throwing so it buried itself in DH's skull the lawn.

I'm the only one who can put away difficult things, like saucepans and tupperware. DH unloads the dishwasher but just leaves them on the side.

I have a special qualification in using ParentPay. We both have a login but he "doesn't know how it works". Apparently I also have a special qualification in knowing all the directions around every new place we go. When I've suggested "I've never been here before either" that is met with the incredulous response "but you BOOKED it" as if that bestowed the special powers. However I am ashamed to say that I have no idea at all how our hearing and hot water is programmed and I really should.

I have a solution for that.

I'm a world leader in telling the difference between a 5 year old's plain black socks and an adult human female's black socks.
Also remembering which patterned socks belong to which human. Two adults, one male one female, plus two different children. It's a lot to remember apparently

I'm the only one qualified to find 'STUFF' - be it items in the fridge, school ties down the side of the bed or parsnip seeds in the seed box.

I'm also the only one capable of making an evening meal from ingredients in the fridge.

However my qualifications in loading the dishwasher or washing machine are obselete. Too old. Don't know how modern things work! (fine by me!!)

I am an expert toilet roll carrier, to the point where no toilet rolls can ever make it upstairs unless I personally ensure their safe carriage.

I am also a professional suitcase packer. Once I asked my DH to pack socks and pants and I would do everything else (including for the DCs). Annoyingly, they didn’t sell socks and pants anywhere near the airport on a Sunday so we had to buy them at triple the price when on holiday.

Seemingly I'm the 'professional ' onion ring finder - even though they were in the freezer right next to the French fries he'd just got out!

Furniture mover, arranger, project manager, spatial awareness technician and quantity surveyor.

Apparently, it is impossible to move three pieces of furniture to the opposite wall to the one they are currently against without my attendance in a prior planning meeting to ensure that they are individually measured, the room is measured, the aspect and lighting is assessed, the angles are carefully calculated and presented with diagrams and a scheme/order of work is devised with fully RAG rated monitoring system to take into account the process of clearing the area, position, order and angles of movement/direction and restoring the room to functional status afterwards.

I know he could be gently described as somewhat spatially challenged cackhanded and has at least three attempts to find his left if I don't say The Hand You Write With, whereas I'm more of a one glance and I've got it to the millimetre and in three dimensions, but it would be nice if I could come home one day to actually find that it's all been done without incident or involvement beyond the initial proposal.