To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

My superpower was being able to see through ceilings to dc actually, in reality they were mistaken -it was my expertise is audio deciphering that allowed me to know exactly where they were, what they were doing that they shouldn’t.

I don’t need to have any extra qualifications because as far as DH is concerned, we have one of these:

I am the only member of the household capable of finding something in a small space such as wardrobe, kitchen cupboard or suitcase. Things seem to miraculously materialise the moment I approach.

I snorted my tea 🤣🤣🤣

Sadly, I know there's a YouTube tutorial on folding fitted sheets. I've watched it. 😳

Mine's the postgrad certificate in crystal ball reading and general future prediction.

If you do that then have you thought that you'll need that next? If we're not getting home till 9 then we'll need to eat before we go out, which means making dinner with time to eat it, which actually might benefit from the washing up done before that time.

Mistakenly I was also thought to have done an accompanying module in "knowing whether you'll want to eat when you get in late, or whether you'll have picked something up at the station on the way home", with special interest subject of "what do I feel like eating today?".

I can identify the correct pan to use for any cooking task. Frying an egg? You need the frying pan, chilli for ten people? That’ll be the big pan. This is apparently a task of such complexity that it necessitates phoning me at work for pan related advice.

I have a professional qualification in Knowing Where Everything Is, Was, and Will Be At All Times. I am also a National Subject Matter Expert in seeing things that are broken and need to be fixed. I point these issues out to general astonishment. It's a national disgrace when the house we've lived in for over 15 years needs maintenance. I honestly think if left to his own devices, DH would have no running water & would be burning the furniture to keep warm.

I am the finder of lost things, most of which were hiding in plain sight.

I am the only person in the house to have a Diploma in dust accumulation identification. I have stress tested this by leaving dust to accumulate and writing “clean me” in it. I am still the only person to notice.

I take it you invested in the top up qualification in adding salt.I would highly recommend the new extension diploma in cleaning the dishwasher arm and drain

Omg that's bloody brilliant.

I have a long and distinguished career gaining many similar qualifications. My specialist area would be analysing the 'finishedness' of a food or beverage item and its readiness for the bin; not replacing an empty or 99% empty packet or container back in the cupboard/ fridge.

Apparently all supermarkets require a special licence if you wish to purchase more than 3 times or items that are solely for your consumption. If you fox security and find your way in you must make a minimum of 10 phone calls to the licence holder.

In addition, it is understood I have a 7 year emergency medicine doctorate, 4 year apprenticeship in plumbing and hairdressing, extensive tailoring/ sewing skills. I am an accountant, child behaviour specialist and PA. If I fail to be able to answer a question related to these topics or other subjects including today's beauty 'will I need a transit visa for Qatar on the the way to the Phillipines' I am being difficult and/ or don't care.

chef
hair stylist
pet groomer

We should get together for a symposium. I will present a groundbreaking talk entitled "The Difference between Tights and Leggings"

My skill is to be able to find the items of food/toiletries/cleaning products that are on Dh's shopping list and direct him to the exact aisle and shelf within the particular supermarket that he happens to be standing (probably looking lost & confused).

Yes, Dh rings me to find things in the supermarket instead of asking the staff, he says its quicker to ring and ask me.

He also tests my skills by doing this by ringing me from supermarkets that I have never been in (he works away in the week), how he survives is beyond me.

ONLY I SHALL PICK UP JUNK MAIL FROM THE HALLWAY AND BIN IT!

No one else possesses this power - I know because I once tested it and it was left for 8 full days.

😁

Yes, I am the only one that has that additional qualification 😂. Either that or cardboard tubes must be magically invisible to the rest of the household.

@JudgeJ

I remember one of DM’s friends being left completely bewildered with all the household stuff when her DH died because he had done everything.

I was the master of Never mind what the garage say and want to charge you, check the VW Forum. I once save us almost £500 because the identified fault was known to the manufacturer and was being done for free.

Although I can't claim to be an expert by any means, I have been studying Cutting the Children's Nails at the School of Why Me? for the last five years, after DP claimed to fail the entrance exam.

When my kids were young, they were totally in awe of one of my superpowers: I could hear a biscuit tin being furtively eased opene from any part of the house, and those eyes in the back of my head meant that I always knew when they were up to mischief. It took them literally years to realize that it was their silence that gave them away.

My DH does the bins as his job.
My eyes are more highly skilled at seeing that the bins are full and then I need to arrange a conference regarding when he might be free to empty them.