To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

😂😂😂😂

I have a PhD in ‘finding others mislaid items’. I always know where things are! At the top of my game at the moment and much in demand.

I am a renowned expert at Fridge Tetris and smug with it, especially when DH declares that we'll never be able to fit all that in.

I also have advanced degrees in decanting the tea and the sugar into their canisters, folding laundry and wiping the fucking finger marks off everything (bitter)

Inside the house…it seems that just I know how to change the bed linen and no one else could possible manage the magic art of duvet cover replacing. Outside… whenever we go to a place none of us have been before, only I have the power to divine where a) the car park is and b) the loos are!

I decided to progress further to the Advanced Vacuuming Degree. It’s not for the faint-hearted due to the danger element. In fact, I’ve considered entering it as an act on Britain’s Got Talent - it would definitely warrant the “don’t try this at home” disclaimer.

Vacuuming the bathroom floor is a skill that I’m immensely proud of achieving. After all, no one I lived with dared to attempt it because “it’s dangerous to use electrical products in a bathroom”.

Now that I live on my own, I get the occasional sad pang that there’s no one to witness my bravery.

I have a diploma in putting away clean plastic containers in the drawer and clearing food debris from the sink plug.

In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher with the precision of a Swedish architect and one who does it like a raccoon on meth. I’m the architect

When 3 men at work didn’t know how to open a tumble drier mid tumble and asked the first woman who walked past ( me ) how to do it, I realised I must have a mechanical engineering degree.

Since my cancer treatment I have gained a PhD in not giving a fuck about housework. I highly recommend the course of studies but not it’s admission requirements.

I am also fully skilled in all activities so entertainingly described above by you amazing women.
Since retiring my DH has become aware of the imbalance of such skills between us and so has enlisted on a ”Domesticity Degree” with the Open University.
He is, of course finding the study very demanding as he took on too much and has found some modules impossible to complete in time. (He had to take several long breaks from his studies over the last four years)
He has, however recently completed his first self help laundry management module. He is so proud of his newly acquired skills that he retells his washing, drying and folding achievements and successes every day!

Wow ladies and gents… I had no idea I had so many qualifications… it also would appear that my super skill is maths and allocation of resources…. 52 weeks a year, 5 days a week of employment… (3 short days 9-3 plus two long) only 39 weeks of school, 6ish weeks leave (based on 5 day weeks) … yet the children are fully cared for everyday… and DH can even have days off for golf weekends.. and Christmas shopping… (for the one present he needs to buy) blows my
mind…

LMAO!
🤣🤣🤣

gcse not car. Autocorrect is like supermarket replacements.

Small hand held vacuum cleaner with a window blade attached. Specifically designed to hoover up water, used for cleaning the condensation of the inside of windows and shower panels.
Its an upgrade on the old fashioned (but multi purpose!) useage of a cloth/towel/kitchen paper/handkerchief/kids sleeve.
I am led to believe that whilst both are cordless, the windows vac requires a battery charging at some point.
I still use the A level qualification of a cleaning cloth, as I have found this to be better than the car level qualification of ‘whatever piece of clothing comes to hand’.

The recently acquired window vac has become his sole preserve.

Do tell me what a window vac is. I feel sure I should have one!

My OH is way more qualified than me. He apparently has diplomas in any household job involving a machine, so vacuum, washing machine etc. The recently acquired window vac has become his sole preserve. He has studied all these things since retirement. That I did it all perfectly well for the previous 30 years has passed him by. Of course, I defer to his superior knowledge - why wouldn't I?

Same. He fails to recognise that mine was a superior institution that included remembering to actually turn the thing on, which his course either omitted or he skipped lectures that day.

Did you ask him why he thought you were a professional vacuum cleaner and where he thought you studied for that?
I'd have enjoyed seeing the squirm. 🤣

@murasaki we have an equitable relationship in the main but every so often something like this happens - luckily he does learn from his mistakes, so it only ever happens once!!

@Xiaoxiong , that is epic. What a foolpiece. At least DP can pack his own stuff. On the rare occasions , post my reminders , for i don't want to deal with the fall out , he forgets his razor or some such, I merely chortle when he has to spend extra cash on a new one. Separate bank accounts work well here.

@Mistressofnone it was a surprise to both of us! We both work full time, we both had the same amount of time to pack. He knew when we were setting off, I packed my clothes, I packed the kids stuff, we packed everything into the car and when we got there he said "I can't find my clothes". And I said where did you pack them, did we forget your bag? And he said oh I didn't pack them, didn't you pack me any? And I said why on earth would I do that??? It didn't occur to you to pack my clothes, so why would it occur to me to pack yours!

I'm a qualified chef apparently 🤷‍♀️
Everyone in this house would starve to death if I went on strike!

I too am blessed with the only functioning looking and seeing eyes.

I also was the only adult in the house who’d been entrusted with information of school start and finish time for the best part of 15 years.

I also have The Knowledge. Not the London cabbie sort, the where’s my/what time/who is/what food/when is/where is/how to/can you EVERYTHING sort.

I'm the only person in my house who is qualified to remove empty cardboard toilet roll tubes from the bathroom and put them in the recycling bin.

But DH has a PhD in throwing them behind the toilet.

I resigned my position because I appeared to be the only one with any skills at all and the workload was excessive. I was unaware that being able to find things or return things to the place they have always lived was a specialist skill. It's hard to unload the dishwasher when you don't know which cupboard the mugs have lived in for the last 5 years!