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Original poster

How broken are you?

329 replies

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 10:58

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

OP posts:

DialSquare · 14/01/2022 18:24

@jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming

Took the train into London just for some clothes shopping.

Left my shopping on over head rack above my seat.

Wasn't til i'f friven home i remembered.....

I've done this. Also left my brand new phone on the train too. Luckily I got them both back.

My latest in a long line of doing these sort of things was making toast and jam for my partner. I left the toast in the kitchen and took the jar of jam in the other room and handed it to him. His face was a picture!

Nosoundnomotion · 14/01/2022 17:58

Had a few friends round with their kids of various ages, when DS2 was around a year old and newly walking.
Lots of noise and chaos as the older kids came in from playing outside, so did a quick head count a few mins later and realised I can't see DS2 anywhere! Brief moment of panic thinking he wandered out somehow without us noticing, can't work out why noone else in the room is reacting to my frantic 'has anyone seen DS2?!'

I was carrying him.

ZimZamZoom · 14/01/2022 17:46

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

When DD was a couple of weeks old and I was working on zero sleep I filled the kettle, put it on its base, went away, came back and made my coffee. I was half way through the cup before I realised I hadn't switched the kettle on the coffee was stone cold and the granules were all floating on the top undissolved.

I have done exactly the same thing! Except I was making two coffees for the plasterers in our house. I didn't realise until they went to take them from me and it clicked. I took them away and said "I didn't boil the kettle". They looked at me like I was crazy

I blamed baby brain (was about 8 months pregnant) but I don't thibo they'd heard of it, so I just seemed even crazier to them!

Bagadverts · 14/01/2022 17:43

I’m nominating for classics. This has cheered me up so much I want it for when I’m a bit down.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/01/2022 17:35

@Andtheyalllookjustthesame

My normal go to move is to tip my morning drink straight down my front instead of into my mouth, though. I had to give up coffee first thing as I kept scalding myself. Years ago when I was a smoker I accidentally put my morning cigarette into my mouth the wrong way round and burnt my mouth. I am not a morning person, evidently.

I’ve done it too.

Shmithecat2 · 14/01/2022 17:26

This was a while ago, but one day I got home from the shops, and then stood at my front door, wondering why it wouldn't open. Took me about 20 secs to accept that the key fob to my CAR won't unlock my door, no matter how aggressively I point it at the front door and press the button.

HeyUpits2022 · 14/01/2022 17:21

Made a coffee this morning.

Put coffee into a cup, poured in a splash of boiling water and topped up my "coffee" with milk.

It was not nice. I stared at my stone cold drink wondering what I'd done.

TimBoothseyes · 14/01/2022 17:19

I spent 10 minutes looking for my keys yesterday evening. I found them in the fridge.

HerRoyalNotness · 14/01/2022 17:17

After 8 years of living somewhere with LH drive cars, yesterday I walked around to the passenger side to get in and drive off. Muscle memory is strong

stuntbubbles · 14/01/2022 17:16

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"
This one has ended me. I’m weeping and faintly breathless, flapping my hands and trying to tell DP, who I know will do the face at me

SoupDragon · 14/01/2022 17:07

I once made myself a coffee by putting a spoon of instant coffee into my mug and then pouring boiling water into the half full coffee canister.

Lolalasagna · 14/01/2022 16:50

just remembered the time DH and I went on holiday, got the time difference wrong, and lived life an hour ahead for the first few days. we were up and about in the mornings commenting how dark and quiet it was and how it was weird no-one else was up yet...it was only when we looked at a clock in reception a few days later we realised

LadyFlumpalot · 14/01/2022 16:48

I've told this one before but it still makes me giggle.

Was rushing about to leave the house and went for a last minute wee.

Tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be with you"

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"

I could hear myself saying it, and my internal monologue was yelling at me to shut up but the sounds were on the way out and there was no stopping them.

PraiseTheSunshine · 14/01/2022 16:46

I love this thread I think I've found my people because I do stuff like that all the time. Just this week I went to throw the remote onto the sofa but threw my cut of tea on the sofa instead

MrFlippersPancake · 14/01/2022 16:34

I once made my dh drive about 20 mins to me (we live v.rurally) to give my car a jump start, I'd actually forgotten to put the clutch in, it's not like I've been driving 15 years or anything

Linguini · 14/01/2022 16:33

So many of these things happen to me!

I remember when I was young, I'd learnt how to drive whilst at college and was still living at home. I drove my mum's car to college, and parked at the NCP, forgot I drove and walked home.
I got home my mum asks "where's the car?" I realize I left it in the car park, so walked back again, only for me to realise I'd gone and left the keys to the car in the house!
The car park was closing.
It was a long time ago.
I can't blame old age on that.

Many more but that one has stuck with me.

iklboo · 14/01/2022 16:31

@wildthingsinthenight - I've tapped a page of a book to turn it over.

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 14/01/2022 16:30

p.s I like to think someone treated themselves to the shopping rather than them being seized at Liverpool Street by the bomb squad.

Unless the bomb squad are rockin my new tops.

hivemindneeded · 14/01/2022 16:28

@wildthingsinthenight

After a lengthy session reading MN I tried to put a bookmark in my phone to "save my place."

Also on a similar vein I tried to plug a phone charger into the bottom of my book....

Hemingwayzcatz · 14/01/2022 16:25

Want to add that it was on the forehead!

Hemingwayzcatz · 14/01/2022 16:24

I once licked my DD good night rather than kissed. I was severely sleep deprived with a newborn at the time in my defence but.. yeah.

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 14/01/2022 16:23

*driven

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 14/01/2022 16:22

Took the train into London just for some clothes shopping.

Left my shopping on over head rack above my seat.

Wasn't til i'f friven home i remembered.....

StarlessSea123 · 14/01/2022 16:12

The other day I was boiling rice, went and got the sieve, picked up the saucepan of rice and just poured it into the sieve when standing at the hob, instead of over the sink! Luckily I copped on very quickly and didn’t scald myself!

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 14/01/2022 16:06

I once addressed my cat by my DP's name one morning (don't live with him). I texted him to say that I might have made my coffee with vodka.

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