How broken are you?

Sat on the passenger seat several times before realising that I don’t have the chauffeur.

Went to feed the dog and make cup of tea, put a teabag in dog’s bowl. Only the dog looking at me with WTF in his eyes stopped me from pouring the water.

Tried to put just boiled kettle into the fridge.
Fridge is my favourite storage, several times I put away scissors,knife,matches then raged when I couldn’t find the missing items.

Drained stock into the sink and stared into colander full of chicken bones.

Forgot to collect younger DS from school only when older DS asked where is he I panicked and turned round. They go to the same school (very small setting)

I managed to throw my shed key into my rubbish bin along with a bag of rubbish. I was holding the key in the other hand. The key ended up at the bottom of the smelly bin. I had to use dettol to clean it once I'd fished it out.

Saw we'd run out of milk. Walked to the corner shop, bought some, walked back straight through the house and put the milk into the recycling box outside. Then went inside to make a brew and noticed we had no milk and went back to the shop. It was only when the guy in the shop commented that I realised what I'd done:

I was watching TV and thought I saw someone I recognised walking past my house and used the sky remote to try and rewind them.

I listen to a lot of podcasts while driving. Several times now I've caught myself getting more and more irritated going through the settings on my car entertainment system trying to find the subtitles

Just woke the baby laughing at this 🤣

I,ve got a habit of paying for things and leaving them in the shop but my pies de resistance was going to McDonalds drive through.

Paid for meal at first window then drove straight past second window, then back home minus food.

I walk into walls, literally , all the time

Mostly the ones in my passage at home, where i have lived for years

Its unbelievable

I tried to get into the gym using my library card this week In my defence, they are both white with a large barcode and a signature. But I’d much rather have been curled up with a good book than the PT session I’d arranged.

I've drained lovingly made chicken stock into the sink. That hurt

Done lots of the old milk in the cupboard, cereal in the fridge etc etc

Worst one was I knackered the car by reversing out of the garage with the bloody back door of the car still wide open. Car was fucked

DP bought a new 55" TV to replace our very old 40" one. As a surprise, he set it up in the living room when I was out. Later he came into see me flicking through the channels and after I didn't say anything he said "well?! Do you like it?!", and I just said "Like what?". I hadn't even noticed the remote felt different

The other day I tossed all my keys into the bin without a care whilst carefully placing my orange peel on the key rack.

I have sieved many a soup straight down the plug hole.

DH once brought me a coffee in bed, instead of sitting up I just tipped it all over my head instead.

I'm constantly doing stuff like this. I think I need to rest more. Yesterday I left my food on the side and went to put the cardboard and plastic packaging in the oven.

I often try to zoom in on bits of paper/books etc using two fingers.

*turn the

Love this thread
My worst was going to work at 5am some years ago. Got in the car, tried to set off but nothing was working. It wasn't an old car but I'd had some problems with it. After about 5 minutes of trying everything I could think of and totally freaking out I went back in to the house and woke up DH stressing about how I'd have to take his car and he'd have to somehow try and get it fixed so he could get to work etc etc.
A very grumpy DH came outside to see if he could work out the problem. He did, quite quickly
I'd forgotten to the the ignition on.

I have, on several occasions while driving with my wife, tried to turn her up by using the volume control on the radio

Absolutely love this thread. All of you have made me laugh during a very stressful time in my life! I've done so many stupid and daft things over the years (too many to mention) but some of yours have had me in hysterics (especially the cat's nipple and 'A-wee wee A-woo woo')

Keep them coming. This is probably one of the funniest threads on MN (and there was me thinking the thread about the lady who was too scared to leave her laundry pegged out overnight in case it got "darked on" was impossible to beat).

I am totally broken on the being tidy front, even though I do the never leave a room empty handed thing. When people say it's easy to have a tidy house I am genuinely baffled. I take things out of 1 room, stop off in another room to put things away, invariably leave something in the room I stopped off in and find it again weeks later. I never know where my phone or glasses are, frequently get to the check-out and realise I left my purse at home ... it's so tedious.

Twice I’ve made onion gravy but used coffee instead of gravy granules and both times poured it all over sausage, mash and veg.

Yesterday I made a cup of coffee which went cold before I could drink it so I heated it up in the microwave, it went cold again so I made a fresh cup and had to hold it before it was cool enough to drink

I poured cat milk into my wine last week. I was heartbroken