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Original poster

Words/sayings that had a profound effect on you.

182 replies

bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 19:29

What words or saying really effected you/changed your mentality/ helped you etc

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them" helped my leave an abusive situation. I realized the abuser was exactly that and they won't change so there was no point in trying to 'understand'/'excuse' their behaviour.

I keep this in mind now when in all my relationships. It's actually helping me to undo some cognitive dissonance over some siblings that are the lovely golden child and being told from.childhood that they're sweet, lovely etc but now I realise actually just how awful they were/are to me.

Along similar vein is "how they treat you is how they feel about you". This really helped me open my eyes to one particular sibling and their nastiness towards me.

Another saying I am trying to implement in my life retrospectively in some cases, is "be careful of what you tolerate; by what you tolerate you teach others how they can treat you".
Trying to step back from my 'pick me' 'begging for some kindness' behaviour, making clear to people that I am not happy with their behaviour.

OP posts:
SisterAgatha · 21/12/2021 21:04

There’s one like ; you made the wine, now you drink a cup. Which is essentially you made the bed now you lie in it but slightly more poetic.

My fave is a poem by Nikita Gill.

𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑜⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑎𝑙𝑢𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑒.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑙𝑓,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 21:01

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I can't remember the exact phrasing, it was something I saw on Pinterest, but it was to the effect of "you don't have to stand by your mistakes just because you spent a long time making them". I was letting sunk cost fallacy hold me back from making a big life change at the time and that really struck a chord.

The next one isn't as eloquent but I was spending a lot of time doing something which made me unhappy in order to progress further in the thing making me unhappy and I started googling to see if anyone else had felt the same way about it. I saw a post somewhere from someone who had decided to quit because they realised that "the prize for winning the pie eating competition was just more pie". Really made me stop and ask myself why I was trying to get more pie when I didn't like the pie I was already eating.

Last one is the song "enjoy yourself (it's later than you think)". I always listen to it when I'm stuck in a rut and the lyrics always inspire me to make a change.

"you don't have to stand by your mistakes just because you spent a long time making them", this one is really deep, thank you for sharing. Will borrow this too 🤗
OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 21/12/2021 21:01

@Buytoomuchonebay

If it doesn’t matter in 5 years time,then it doesn’t matter now Saves me getting bogged down with the smaller details

They don’t pay my rent
Meaning that they don’t matter in my life-I don’t need them

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on
Just that-leave toxic behind and forget about it

I like this, especially "they don't pay the rent".
Aspergirl77 · 21/12/2021 20:59

Near the start of the pandemic I was really freaking out about people not ‘following the rules’ and i was getting really anxious. My husband said to me ‘you can’t control other people’s actions, only your own’, and I now think of that phrase frequently and find it really helps, in many situations.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 21/12/2021 20:58

I can't remember the exact phrasing, it was something I saw on Pinterest, but it was to the effect of "you don't have to stand by your mistakes just because you spent a long time making them". I was letting sunk cost fallacy hold me back from making a big life change at the time and that really struck a chord.

The next one isn't as eloquent but I was spending a lot of time doing something which made me unhappy in order to progress further in the thing making me unhappy and I started googling to see if anyone else had felt the same way about it. I saw a post somewhere from someone who had decided to quit because they realised that "the prize for winning the pie eating competition was just more pie". Really made me stop and ask myself why I was trying to get more pie when I didn't like the pie I was already eating.

Last one is the song "enjoy yourself (it's later than you think)". I always listen to it when I'm stuck in a rut and the lyrics always inspire me to make a change.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:56

@MrsSugar

Focus on the shit that’s on the shovel rather than the pile. I tell myself this when I feel overwhelmed with things I need to do.

Simple but true… life is too short.
Life truly is too short to worry about trivial things !

😁 yes to shit on the shovel......can use this in my line of work when working with people to set SMART goals etc. Thank you.
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Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:54

@TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER

One I read on here... not my circus, not my monkey.

Really helped me when exh was being a dick & trying to drag me into all sorts of his drama after we separated.

That's a good one, actually applying it right now in a nonsense family drama 👏
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Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:52

@EdithGrantham lord sake!! It was meant to be a 😃

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Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:51

@EdithGrantham that was meant to be a 😁

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Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:50

@foxgoosefinch

Haha I remember my dad once said to me when I was about seventeen, “remember that any fool can get married” 🤣 (my parents did not have a happy marriage…)

I’m not married.

🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 I am with hubby no two 🙈
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Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:49

@TeaAndCake

Perfection doesn't exist. It really doesn't, only the illusion. If I'm doing my best at work/motherhood/marriage then that's good enough.

Tied to that, 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. Living your life for the sake of appearances and trying to keep up with others' standards is a waste of life.

Comparison is the theif of joy is another I have seen recently that's really making me try to not be so down on myself.🤗🤗
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foxgoosefinch · 21/12/2021 20:49

Haha I remember my dad once said to me when I was about seventeen, “remember that any fool can get married” 🤣 (my parents did not have a happy marriage…)

I’m not married.

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 21/12/2021 20:49

Good enough will have to do.

As a woman spinning too many plates this is my reminder to myself that perfect is an illusion.

Good enough is good enough.

Moutainwoman · 21/12/2021 20:48

Every accusation from a narcissist is a confession.

Helped be understand what the hell was happening when I felt like I was living in the twilight zone

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:48

@EdithGrantham

"Feel the fear and do it anyway" helped me go to a social group and make friends with a group of ladies I'll probably be friends with for life now.
That's amazing, congratulations on flipping fear the bird 😁.
OP posts:
TeaAndCake · 21/12/2021 20:47

Perfection doesn't exist. It really doesn't, only the illusion.
If I'm doing my best at work/motherhood/marriage then that's good enough.

Tied to that, 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. Living your life for the sake of appearances and trying to keep up with others' standards is a waste of life.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 20:46

@TartanCulshie

Savage garden's song affirmation is amazing. Stand out line -

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness

Made me realise it doesn't matter who is 'right', holding a grudge is just a waste

Also - least said, soonest mended

That sounds lovely, for me in all honesty I have difficulty with forgiveness especially if the person doesn't acknowledge their wrong doing. Still need to work on letting things go without getting resolutions......
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EdithGrantham · 21/12/2021 20:46

"Feel the fear and do it anyway" helped me go to a social group and make friends with a group of ladies I'll probably be friends with for life now.

PhoboPhobia · 21/12/2021 20:44

This too shall pass

Marzipano · 21/12/2021 20:41

"if you don't like your life, you can change it"

UpintNorth · 21/12/2021 20:39

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt with. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding”

Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

This reminds me to stop with self pity and find the positive

And

“It will all come out in the wash”
Which reminds me to that this too will pass

IsoIsobaby20 · 21/12/2021 20:37

You always have a choice.

MrsSugar · 21/12/2021 20:33

Focus on the shit that’s on the shovel rather than the pile. I tell myself this when I feel overwhelmed with things I need to do.

Simple but true… life is too short.
Life truly is too short to worry about trivial things !

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 21/12/2021 20:32

One I read on here... not my circus, not my monkey.

Really helped me when exh was being a dick & trying to drag me into all sorts of his drama after we separated.

Animood · 21/12/2021 20:30

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them"

This is the absolute BEST.

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