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Original poster

Words/sayings that had a profound effect on you.

182 replies

bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 19:29

What words or saying really effected you/changed your mentality/ helped you etc

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them" helped my leave an abusive situation. I realized the abuser was exactly that and they won't change so there was no point in trying to 'understand'/'excuse' their behaviour.

I keep this in mind now when in all my relationships. It's actually helping me to undo some cognitive dissonance over some siblings that are the lovely golden child and being told from.childhood that they're sweet, lovely etc but now I realise actually just how awful they were/are to me.

Along similar vein is "how they treat you is how they feel about you". This really helped me open my eyes to one particular sibling and their nastiness towards me.

Another saying I am trying to implement in my life retrospectively in some cases, is "be careful of what you tolerate; by what you tolerate you teach others how they can treat you".
Trying to step back from my 'pick me' 'begging for some kindness' behaviour, making clear to people that I am not happy with their behaviour.

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 21/12/2021 22:35

My gran used to say “don’t trouble trouble, til trouble troubles you”. I think on it when I am fretting and fussing about things that may not happen, the news, everything.

Flamingoose · 21/12/2021 22:33

@goingonahairbunt

You can't control how others behave, but you can control how you respond to that behaviour.

It's made me rethink a lot of situations that I normally find stressful!

Yes, this one is important to me too.
SlowBoiledFrog · 21/12/2021 22:31

Definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

GreenTeaPingPong · 21/12/2021 22:29

Whether or not you believe in any kind of god, this quote from Marianne Williamson is very powerful, especially for women - including me (actually thanks OP for sort of reminding me of it):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

specialmintapplecranberrysauce · 21/12/2021 22:21

Dr Seuss has loads of brilliant philosophical sayings @Letsnotargue !

'You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer your self any direction you choose'

Great for kids!

ChampagneCommunist · 21/12/2021 22:13

You can't change the people around you.
But you can change the people around you.

PoppityBoo · 21/12/2021 21:46

My faves:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

KBO - keep buggering on (possibly Churchill?!)

Happiness is a journey, not a destination (de Souza)

All fed?! Nobody dead?! Today is a good day! (My fave surviving lockdown phrase! 😂)

Always regret the things you have done, not the things you haven’t.

Lifeisnteasy · 21/12/2021 21:41

It’s a scene from This is England 1990. Combo is making his case to the parole board to be released from prison. He says ‘as well as asking for forgiveness from the people I’ve hurt, I’ve also forgiven the people who have hurt me’.

It brings a lump to my throat whenever I think about it, that scene is just so powerful. There’s good and bad in everyone, we are very nuanced creatures and it captures that perfectly.

Letsnotargue · 21/12/2021 21:38

Also a phrase about judging yourself by your intent, but others by their actions. I often think of this if I’m starting to judge people on the outside, as they could have the best of intentions (like I like to think I have).

DaisyNGO · 21/12/2021 21:37

Mary Oliver's poem, Wild Geese. All of it is great, but I especially like "you do not have to be good".

Letsnotargue · 21/12/2021 21:36

I like the phrase “those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”

I thought it was quite profound, but it’s Dr Seuss!

Teaandcakeordeath83 · 21/12/2021 21:34

I also had an amazing counsellor in my late 20s. I bloody loved/love that woman. Anyway. She told me two things- not profound sayings that I'm aware of but first was a Latin phrase "dum Spiro spero" which means roughly "with breath hope" which got me through the ordeal of infertility. The other was "you aren't your parents". I'd spent so much of my twenties worrying that I was somehow going to morph into the disastrous, toxic pair that I'd stopped making decisions for fear of it being the wrong one and the one that led me to being like them. Just having someone point out that very obvious thing was a game changer for me.

Tittyfilarious81 · 21/12/2021 21:31

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last 1 .

I always think of this if I get too bogged down with things that are in the past

DaisyNGO · 21/12/2021 21:31

@Fetchthevet

You are not your actions.
Sounds like a mantra for psychopaths. Maybe I'll try it.
Teaandcakeordeath83 · 21/12/2021 21:30

I did a birthing course (I'm not one for woo so it was a big thing to me). One of the affirmations was "I am the ocean, I make the waves". Stuck with me ever since. I chanted it in my head throughout labour and it helped me focus on each contraction.

I try and apply it day to day- it's excellent at reminding me to stop to screeching (though definitely doesn't work all the time 🙊) at the kids or when I'm dealing with my bloody mother not to rise to her provocations. I get to decide and control how to react, not anyone else.

sjxoxo · 21/12/2021 21:29

“Leap & the net will appear!” xo

RestedDevelopment · 21/12/2021 21:28

Life finds a way.

And ‘Little Heartbreak’ by Wilhelmina Stitch

specialmintapplecranberrysauce · 21/12/2021 21:27

"If you like it, do it. If you don't like it - do it- you might like it!'. -Pauline Calf

Fetchthevet · 21/12/2021 21:21

You are not your actions.

ImmutableSexQueen · 21/12/2021 21:21

A moment when you're happy is one in the bank. No-one can take that away from you.

Notice your happy moments and bank them.

dottybabe · 21/12/2021 21:19

"Nothing changes if nothing changes".

If you don't like it, do something about itSmile

goingonahairbunt · 21/12/2021 21:18

You can't control how others behave, but you can control how you respond to that behaviour.

It's made me rethink a lot of situations that I normally find stressful!

specialmintapplecranberrysauce · 21/12/2021 21:18

Stepping out of the race she didn't want to be in, she found her own lane and proceeded to win

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 21:15

@SisterAgatha

There’s one like ; you made the wine, now you drink a cup. Which is essentially you made the bed now you lie in it but slightly more poetic.

My fave is a poem by Nikita Gill.

𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑜⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑎𝑙𝑢𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑒.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑙𝑓,⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

☺️ that's a good poem, reminds me of an Arabic saying "beware the anger of a gentle person".
OP posts:
Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 21:13

Another I have remembered is "don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it, time will pass anyway"

Wish I knew this when I was in my 20's, I stopped pursuing so many options because I thought I
would not have the time to finish them, in between getting married and having kids.

Older and (a smidgen) wiser now.

OP posts:
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