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Original poster

Words/sayings that had a profound effect on you.

182 replies

bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 19:29

What words or saying really effected you/changed your mentality/ helped you etc

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them" helped my leave an abusive situation. I realized the abuser was exactly that and they won't change so there was no point in trying to 'understand'/'excuse' their behaviour.

I keep this in mind now when in all my relationships. It's actually helping me to undo some cognitive dissonance over some siblings that are the lovely golden child and being told from.childhood that they're sweet, lovely etc but now I realise actually just how awful they were/are to me.

Along similar vein is "how they treat you is how they feel about you". This really helped me open my eyes to one particular sibling and their nastiness towards me.

Another saying I am trying to implement in my life retrospectively in some cases, is "be careful of what you tolerate; by what you tolerate you teach others how they can treat you".
Trying to step back from my 'pick me' 'begging for some kindness' behaviour, making clear to people that I am not happy with their behaviour.

OP posts:
evilharpy · 21/12/2021 22:59

"It's a start. I believe in starts. Once you have the start, the rest is inevitable." - Joey "The Lips" Fegan

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 22:57

@HeckinMiffed

'You cannot control other peoples actions, you can only change how you react to them.'

'Eagles may fly high but weasels dont get sucked into engines'

A pp mentioned a poem by Mary Oliver-I love the end of her poem 'In blackwater woods'......

'Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go'

All these quotes have gradually helped me to find the strength to stand up to my narc sister and finally live my life.

That's beautiful. Well done for standing up for yourself, I am in the process of this with some people in my life. It's hard, stay strong Flowers
OP posts:
madisonbridges · 21/12/2021 22:56

There was a similar thread earlier this year. I was getting so angry with the govt, the scientists, everybody really. And probably being even more wound by MN posters. And then I read a saying from @Stichintime
Begin by believing that people are acting with good intentions.

It changed my whole mindset, not just about the pandemic but life in general. I know I make mistakes, do things wrong that upset people, but it's never my intention. I always want and mean to do the right thing. So why would I think that others would do less. It just seemed to let the anger seep out of me snd I'm so much calmer and sanguine. I don't know if Stich is still around, but if they are, I'd like to thank them, and their boss, because that saying has been transformative.

Chr1stmasCarole · 21/12/2021 22:56

Massive Les Miserables fan here so...

" even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise"

And

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

NMC2022 · 21/12/2021 22:56

Courage is just fear holding on a minute longer

For when I was really struggling with nerves and riding. I would stay on a minute longer when I wanted to get off. It worked

Maskless · 21/12/2021 22:56

Another one is:

Don't do the "pick me" dance.

I read that on Mumsnet and it made me stop and think and remember times when I'd done it.

HeckinMiffed · 21/12/2021 22:55

'You cannot control other peoples actions, you can only change how you react to them.'

'Eagles may fly high but weasels dont get sucked into engines'

A pp mentioned a poem by Mary Oliver-I love the end of her poem 'In blackwater woods'......

'Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go'

All these quotes have gradually helped me to find the strength to stand up to my narc sister and finally live my life.

Maskless · 21/12/2021 22:55

I was listening to a Jodie Whiteley sleep hypnosis Youtube video when she said these words.

"Despite all you have been through, you are still alive."

That really made me sit up and realise that this is true and is something to celebrate.

Pegasushaswings · 21/12/2021 22:54

I learnt ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ here on MN, I also like ‘keep on keeping on’ which I kept repeating during 2020!

Allthehotchocolate · 21/12/2021 22:52

My favourite is

Your value does not decrease based on somebodies inability to see your worth

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 22:51

@WorraLiberty

My lovely Irish Dad...

"There's nothing so bad that it could't get worse"

We were never sure whether to be comforted or alarmed 🤣🤣

😃😂 I actually make a conscious effort to think and say that things can't get worse because I alway fear they can.
OP posts:
Poochnewbie1 · 21/12/2021 22:51

There is nothing stronger thank a small hope that doesn’t give up - Matt Haige

Hold on and just breathe - That one kept me going in a very dark time. So simple. All I could do was breathe and that was all I had to do.

eddiemairswife · 21/12/2021 22:50

Y6 teacher in 1949......"A blustering righteousness is a sure sign of guilt."
"Self-praise is no recommendation."

nocoolnamesleft · 21/12/2021 22:49

It's from Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula le Guin:
Heal the wound and cure the illness, but let the dying spirit go.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 22:48

I love the line from e e Cummings poem Maggie and Milly and Molly and May

"may came home with a smooth round stone as small as a world and as large as alone"

This perfectly describes loneliness to me, my loneliness always felt like a vast and deep ocean.

OP posts:
Coronawireless · 21/12/2021 22:46

Keep calm and carry on.

Always like the one about not being able to control others but can control how you respond.

I always think people ARE their actions.

GiveOverIrene · 21/12/2021 22:45

We teach others how to treat us. Also, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2021 22:44

My lovely Irish Dad...

"There's nothing so bad that it could't get worse"

We were never sure whether to be comforted or alarmed 🤣🤣

Flamingoose · 21/12/2021 22:42

It's not a snappy quote like some of these, but when my children were small someone wise told me that in any given situation I was the only advocate for my child. Everyone else around the table may be kind, and have the best of intentions, but they also have other factors to consider. I'm the only person at the table whose sole priority is the wellbeing of my child and it's my job to be their advocate.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 22:42

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I meant nan not man 🤪

OP posts:
Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 22:41

@Judystilldreamsofhorses

My gran used to say “don’t trouble trouble, til trouble troubles you”. I think on it when I am fretting and fussing about things that may not happen, the news, everything.
Wise man of yours. Kind of reminds me of "don't start none and there won't be one".... don't start troubles and you won't get troubles.
OP posts:
Seriously79 · 21/12/2021 22:40

He who laughs last, laughs longest.

neverornow · 21/12/2021 22:38

Some of these are great 😊

I like 'There's no point having one foot in the past and one foot in the present, you're only pissing on yourself'

specialmintapplecranberrysauce · 21/12/2021 22:36

'The worst thing about mental illness is that everyone expects you to act as if you don't have one' The Joker

DotBall · 21/12/2021 22:36

The concept of ‘The Dark Playground’ first described by Tim Urban in his blog on procrastination.

A time and space where nothing you do is much fun because you have the guilt of needing to get other (more important) things done hanging over you. I always felt like this.

Helped me make firm decisions and plans about when I would schedule different tasks / fun stuff and that it was ok to enjoy the breaks in between the grind.

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