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Original poster

Words/sayings that had a profound effect on you.

182 replies

bubbleblower85 · 21/12/2021 19:29

What words or saying really effected you/changed your mentality/ helped you etc

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them" helped my leave an abusive situation. I realized the abuser was exactly that and they won't change so there was no point in trying to 'understand'/'excuse' their behaviour.

I keep this in mind now when in all my relationships. It's actually helping me to undo some cognitive dissonance over some siblings that are the lovely golden child and being told from.childhood that they're sweet, lovely etc but now I realise actually just how awful they were/are to me.

Along similar vein is "how they treat you is how they feel about you". This really helped me open my eyes to one particular sibling and their nastiness towards me.

Another saying I am trying to implement in my life retrospectively in some cases, is "be careful of what you tolerate; by what you tolerate you teach others how they can treat you".
Trying to step back from my 'pick me' 'begging for some kindness' behaviour, making clear to people that I am not happy with their behaviour.

OP posts:
EinsteinaGogo · 22/12/2021 19:41

@TartanCulshie

Savage garden's song affirmation is amazing. Stand out line -

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness

Made me realise it doesn't matter who is 'right', holding a grudge is just a waste

Also - least said, soonest mended

I think the lyrics to this are powerful, too 👍
Jingleballsup · 22/12/2021 19:03

People behave how you allow them to.

Echobelly · 22/12/2021 18:41

Ah @ApocalypseNowt the short phrase I was looking for was 'Don't borrow trouble ahead of time' ! Grin

This is a lovely thread, by the way

Echobelly · 22/12/2021 18:37

I heard a great phrase from Michael J Fox along the lines of 'There's no point worrying about the worst happening because all that means is that if it does happen, then the worst has happened and you've put yourself through it multiple times beforehand'

I think I subsequently heard a saying, maybe from northern England, that encapsulated that very neatly in a metaphor, but can't remember what it was!

I'm still not good at not catastrophising sometimes, but reminding myself of this does help.

Madbadandusuallysad · 22/12/2021 18:31

"If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it"..... as a result of this gem I'm no longer afraid to advocate for myself.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 22/12/2021 18:27

When I was learning to drive, my dad said to me, ‘assume everyone around you is a terribly driver and drive defensively.’ I’ve never forgotten it and it has actually helped me be very aware of where other cars are on the road and ensure I give them space. Came in handy a few times when I’ve been cut up, or someone has switched lanes without looking etc

riotlady · 22/12/2021 18:22

This might sound daft but my physiotherapist told me “5 days a week counts as every day” for my physiotherapy- so for example, if I hit my step goal 5 days a week, that counts as doing it “every day”.

Anyway, things I used to aim to do every day (and end up failing and hardly doing them), I now try and do 5 days a week and don’t beat myself up at all if I miss a few. I take my multivitamin, do yoga, hit my step goal and eat 5+ portions of fruit and veg 5 days a week, which is way more than before, and I feel much more relaxed about things. Genuinely changed my life!

OnceBitten25 · 22/12/2021 18:17

"Your courage begins to flourish when you realise no one is coming to save you"

This resonates with me

Limer · 22/12/2021 18:13

Two simple ones:

"The hour is always darkest before the dawn."

and

"Count your blessings."

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 22/12/2021 17:54

Another poem one - the final line of Mary Oliver - The Summer Day. If you don't know it I encourage you to look it up. I have it up in my classroom.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 22/12/2021 17:52

The final line of the poem "New Every Morning" by Susan Coolidge. My Grandad used to say it to me. "Take heart with the day and begin again." If I ever have a tattoo it will be that line.

Fizbosshoes · 22/12/2021 17:51

One that really spoke to me during recovery from an eating disorder
And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom

DH likes
Ever tried. Ever failed
Try again. Fail again
Fail better.

Foolsrule · 22/12/2021 17:44

An opinion is exactly that.

Don’t borrow trouble (i.e. don’t catastrophise and focus on the problems you have, rather than those that could arise).

SFisnotsimple · 22/12/2021 17:39

Letting Go by Nelson Mandela

And not a saying but a concept - the locus of control

Both similar but different about what you can control in life and what you can't

Pinkmagic1 · 22/12/2021 17:35

There's no point worrying about things that are out of your control

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 22/12/2021 17:35

@unsalted

Sorry if this one's been said. I did RTFT but very quickly!

In Only Fools and Horses when Rodney's going through a hard time, and Del comforts him by saying "It's just a dropped stitch in life's tapestry."

That stuck with me and I try to remember it in hard times and focus on the bigger picture.

😃 would never have expected this to come out of Del boys mouth! Very poetic.
OP posts:
Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 22/12/2021 17:33

@Orreries

'Don't expect anything and you'll never be disappointed' and 'University isn't for the likes of us' (courtesy of my mother). So I won a scholarship and did four degrees at two different elite universities.

Words that have a profound impact don't need to be positive ones!

Absolutely, negative words can be even more lasting than positive ones. Well done on flipping the negative ones on its head. Congratulations on your achievementsFlowers
OP posts:
unsalted · 22/12/2021 17:33

Sorry if this one's been said. I did RTFT but very quickly!

In Only Fools and Horses when Rodney's going through a hard time, and Del comforts him by saying "It's just a dropped stitch in life's tapestry."

That stuck with me and I try to remember it in hard times and focus on the bigger picture.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 22/12/2021 17:29

@Triotriotrio

In a meeting and someone read out this poem by Edgar Guest and it really struck a nerve:

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?
Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?
This day is almost over, and its toiling time is through;
Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you?

Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along?
Or a churlish sort of "Howdy" and then vanish in the throng?
Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way,
Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today?

Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that's slipping fast,
That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;
Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?
As you close your eyes in slumber do you think that God would say,
You have earned one more tomorrow by the work you did today?

Thank you for sharing this, it's really thought provoking.
OP posts:
GreenBill · 22/12/2021 17:21

Not as profound as some writing here, but I used to be a hoarder. Kondo didn’t work for me at all. Too many things brought me joy.

A friend told me to turn it upside down: “Would I be absolutely gutted if this went?” It worked a treat to get me decluttered.

Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 22/12/2021 17:14

@NannyGythaOgg

The first time I read this it sent a shiver down my spine. I still think of it regularly AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS 1 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost … I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. 2 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. 3 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in … it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. 4 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 5 I walk down another street. Portia Nelson
That is wonderful in capturing how people can take time to change.
OP posts:
penguinwithasuitcase · 22/12/2021 17:14

"Soft, open heart. BIG f*cking fence"

Grin
Original poster
bubbleblower85 · 22/12/2021 17:12

@jadew88

"Other people's opinions of you are none of your business."

I used to obsess over whether people liked me and hated the thought of someone disliking me at all. Now I genuinely couldn't care less 😁

Isn't it liberating!!!
OP posts:
prettyteapotsplease · 22/12/2021 15:56

"We must deal with the world as it is, not as it should be," or words to that effect, which I think I heard on Silent Witness or similar. I think there's a lot of truth in that.

"People will only treat you as a doormat if you give them permission" - by all means be co-operative, but don't go too far.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 22/12/2021 15:32

There has always been heartache and pain...and when it's over you'll breathe again