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Original poster

What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

368 replies

forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:12

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. Grin

What about you?

OP posts:
Marmite17 · 15/10/2021 20:31

Chronic insomniac so could man borders whilst others are asleep. Did well at air rifle shooting on an INSET day? Hmm

orangespotatoes · 15/10/2021 20:28

I'm a semi-decent seamstress. I have quite a knack for up cycling too so can take various garments (or just bedsheets) and turn them into something else.

StoopitAutocarrot · 15/10/2021 20:18

I’ll be keeping spirits up by running ceilidh dance sessions.

HeechulOppa · 15/10/2021 20:18

Oh, I’m also very good with rats, they love me and I love them, so I can put in a good word for you all

HeechulOppa · 15/10/2021 20:15

I was a bit panicked until I realised I can turn shorn wool into yarn, and crochet hats, so I can keep those knitters going in wool and be an alternative source of headgear should scarves fall out of fashion. Would need help removing the wool from the sheep though.

Failing that I’m quit plump so when I inevitably get shot I’d probably make a good meal.

InMySpareTime · 15/10/2021 20:07

I have a roof full of solar panels, so I'll probably be the go-to place to charge everything on a sunny day.
I also have several large water butts so won't be short of fresh rainwater either. Not that fresh rainwater is that scarce in NW England, but I at least will have it on tap.

Wrenna · 15/10/2021 20:06

Herbalist and potion maker.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/10/2021 20:06

I've realised that I can also throw pots and have helped build kilns before. So as well as the shooting, I can plate up the food and the fucking mountains of socks we'll have.

Nayday · 15/10/2021 20:05

Village witch making batshit crazy predictions that come true. Probably got some goats kicking around the place and live off nettles. Sign me up!

SilentBob · 15/10/2021 20:04

Also my dad was a fireman and worked for BT. I'm sure to have inherited his putter-outer and communications skills

SilentBob · 15/10/2021 20:02

I'm a chef. I'm a crack shot and not squeamish. I can make vodka from shit all.

nancybotwinbloom · 15/10/2021 19:58

@bakingdemon

I would be dead. As an extremely short sighted glasses wearer, I have never seen myself represented in any of the many modern dystopian films/books I love so clearly I will not be able to outrun or outfight whatever it is that causes the collapse. The only myopic character I can think of is Piggy in Lord of the Flies and that didn't work out well for him Confused
Can you bake though Grin
nancybotwinbloom · 15/10/2021 19:56

@Fernhilde

I can make twine from nettles.
I read that as wine. Can you make wine also? Grin
nancybotwinbloom · 15/10/2021 19:54

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm a crack shot. So that.
I'm sat with her I am a crack shot also. I'm ex army.
Rolypolybabies · 15/10/2021 19:46

Physio I would treat all the back pain from having to be physical and relocate dislocated joints in return for wood and food. Might start a hooch production side hustle too as have made wines from fruit.

StCharlotte · 15/10/2021 19:44

@DeepaBeesKit

But then I am quite a closet prepper.

I have a paper file in a water tight lock box with instructions for lots of things Blush

I've got a Jackie annual from 1977. If nothing else I can learn how to practise snogging on the back of my hand. Could useful for "training" the smithy/ies.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/10/2021 19:07

@evilharpy we could set up a creche Grin better than leaving them to go feral, I think.

10yearwarranty · 15/10/2021 19:05

Horses for me too - I'd be a horse trainer, and train people so they know how to work with them. I do that anyway, in a kind of horse whispering way, so would be perfect.

CaveMum · 15/10/2021 19:02

I’m good with horses and have worked in the racehorse breeding sector for years so I’ll breed and supply all the horses needed for farm work/general transport as you just know there will be a diesel shortage.

Many years ago didn’t we have a MN Zombie Apocalypse plan of hijacking a couple of cruise liners and floating off to a warmer climate? I distinctly remember a conversation about how easy they are to drive. Of course everyone also had their “Oh Fuck Rucksack” ready to go.

Lightisnotwhite · 15/10/2021 19:02

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm a crack shot. So that.
I can pluck and gut. Someone else is going to have to cook though.
multivac · 15/10/2021 18:24

I'd make sure all post-apocalypse communications were grammatically correct, easily understood and elegant where possible.

Form a queue!

peaceanddove · 15/10/2021 18:22

@KrispyKale

When a teenager I had always planned to send any future kids to a Steiner school. Feel bad now I let my actual children miss out on useful skills for the zombie apocalypse!😂
Don't feel too bad. The amount of utterly useless guff I learned (I happen to know at least 3 Austrian hunting songs, for example) far outweighed anything potentially pertinent to the zombie apocalypse.
peaceanddove · 15/10/2021 18:19

@AnneLovesGilbert

I’m a Steinerite too *@peaceanddove* and was never shown how to milk a goat. I feel cheated!
[waves to Annie Gilbert]

We also had 3 Shetland ponies and chickens!

QueefofSheena · 15/10/2021 18:19

Comms. I was once an old-style telephone engineer in the days before everyone dumped their landlines. I could set up a rudimentary comms network.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 15/10/2021 18:13

I'm a nurse, have been for over 30 years so I'll still be doing that. I'll stitch up all the nasty cuts from all jobs people aren't used to doing. I'm brutal, I'll give you some bath tub gin then go for it.

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