What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

Sod waiting for the apocalypse, let's just start an encampment in a nice forest somewhere now where we can all live in out cosy huts, wrap up warm in fluffy hand-knitted blankets round the campfire at night eating pizza and drinking homebrew cider and sloe gin.

Who's with me?!

I love the fact we will be the warmest and most pissed group of survivalists in the northern hemisphere.

I can knit scarves, socks, hats, cardigans, jumpers, ... You want it, I'll knit it. I just need someone to provide me with yarn.

I can also make candles, so if we end up without electricity we would at least still have candlelight.

I can make cider, perry and wine from scratch. I have other skills like growing veg and knitting, but that seems to be the one most people are interested in.

My sister has always said that knitting is a post apocalyptic life skill.

I can sew, knit and identify what’s safe to eat in the wild and can pickle and make jam.

I am also a decent shot with gun and slingshot.

A short career in nursing means I could still do some basic care and am sure I could still stitch people up, though it was decades ago.

On a bad note I have some mobility issues.

Wow look at all these skills (and how many archers do we have?!)

The good news is that rather than a single post-apocalyptic event causing us to enter a new Dark Age, I think we're more likely to have a slow slide or series of smaller events leading to our post-apocalyptic future, so still plenty of time to build on existing skills and learn new ones. We need a spreadsheet to keep track of existing skills and work out where there are gaps or shortages.
I hope that whatever leads to the post-apocalyptic world, it won't destroy all the books, so I am building a collection of useful manuals and reference books. I'm aiming to replicate the collection electronically on a small, low-power device though this project is going...slowly.

I seem to remember discussions about whether zombies can live under water.

Growing veg, and also helping to re-start local textile production. I "just need to learn how to spin"... I grew a little flax this year as an experiment, and it worked. I'm sure spinning can't be that hard... I know a little of herbs and native plants, for basic medicinal purposes and dyeing, and I've also tried woodwork in the past. I'm having a go with whittling at the moment.

Bring on the zombies. I could do with more weaponry though.

Chronic insomniac who will be on the roof every night keeping watch for the zombies.
Definitely not a farmer, can't even keep a house plant alive.

I have nominated this for classics and am volunteering to form a Signals Unit with @SilentBob and @QueefofSheena as am also ex telecoms engineer

I can knit blankets and scarves and hats, so basically, I'll be in charge of Frostbite Abatement. If gloves can be rectangles or squares, add them to my list.

I can boss. Anybody. I can boss them and make them think it was their idea to do .. whatever. Note: this has not been tested in times of war, nor on zombies, so perhaps I'm just big-headed.

I am excellent at tidying. Not so much cleaning, but man - I can make our caves or bunkers or dens look chic and elegant, or rustic and shabby chic. Name your style, and I'll tidy and fix until tis picture perfect.

That's about it. Yep, not much else to offer. Oh wait. I can shout. REALLY LOUD. So perhaps can scare off varmints?

I'm in! I can make acorn coffee (won't be partaking myself - it was disgusting - but if you like Barley Cup then you'll be sorted!) See also sloe gin - but will partake of that!

I'll join the Ents Committee - I'm a dab hand at shadow puppets by firelight (skill discovered in a remote house on Dartmoor with no electricity or mains services!) - it was a great evenings entertainment.

Also dab hand with pistol crossbow, firelighting (and sourcing natural tinder) and I have a kayak, which I'm sure will come in handy somehow!

farmer or woodsman

Can I please be adopted by brody77 and her DH?

@Brody77 is 100% in.

Your dentist is here! And one of the best things I’m known for at my practice is pulling out teeth! No dying of abcesses with me, and I’m quick which without local anaesthesia will be an advantage.
I can forage, make wine, milk, pluck and gut, plus Dh is a dentist who can shoot and is excellent at plumbing and diy of all sorts so I reckon we might wonder about offering our services to a wide area outside our “settled” community.

I'll be the wise woman and the "doctor". Love a bit of home surgery.

I can sing a thousand different songs with your children and make pretty fabulous pizza

I'm an excellent shot with a bow or a gun and I'm fairly competent at farm animal husbandry and archaic pharmacology. I also turn out a small number of very world friendly horses anyway so they'll be a hugely tradable commodity in this glorious post-apocalypse

Retired teacher so could watch kids at a push. Just fancy shooting zombies, far more exciting.

I think Jesusinthecabbagevan DH has a spreadsheet made from sticks...?

@CaveMum I remember the OFRS days

Has anyone started a spreadsheet yet?

(Possibly the only MN thread where I've read every single post.)