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Original poster

What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

368 replies

forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:12

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. Grin

What about you?

OP posts:
nonevernotever · 16/10/2021 20:54

I don't think anything I could do isn't already being done quicker by someone else. My best attribute according to DH is keeping him warm in bed at night. Maybe I could be a portable sort of human hot water bottle?

Squooka · 16/10/2021 20:42

Actually, what would be really useful is a good working knowledge of simple mechanics and how to use levers and pulleys and stuff like that, and build simple machines that to move logs and break rocks and so forth. And how to build ploughs and artesian wells.

Has anyone else read Riddley Walker? That's the post-apocalyptic scenario I'm working on. I think it's set c. 1000yrs post nuclear apocalypse and is written in a sort of pidgen English dialect that completely gets into your head. I was half way through it before I realised it was set in East Kent, where I grew up. All around the A20.
Anyway, it's a great book, but also has some very handy insights into post-apocalypse living.

(No rumpa no dum no zantigen Eusa come)

Mmarmite · 16/10/2021 20:32

I have an NVQ Level 1 in Stage Combat but I’m guessing that’s not going to be much use. In truth it’s never been much use! I’m good at craft and foraging for materials so I guess I can keep the children entertained?! I’m not going to survive am I?

Craftycorvid · 16/10/2021 20:24

Waves to @ThinkingMam. I would also probably be doing pretty much what I do now, which is trauma-focussed therapy. I’m guessing there would be plenty of call for my services. I do also fancy a side order of ‘mysterious older woman who might be a witch and who lives in the edge of the community in a ramshackle house, and who no one is sure about - is she friendly or secretly farming the zombies?’

Original poster
forinborin · 16/10/2021 20:19

[quote Siriisatwat]@forinborin to be honest, I’m a terrible flirt when pissed and my eyesight isn’t great. I’d end up trying to shag a zombie and would get the whole village killed.[/quote]
Grin
Or it will help establishing diplomatic links with the zombie civilisation...

OP posts:
julieca · 16/10/2021 20:16

All those saying if he really doesnt want to go don't send him - I agree. But the DC is not saying he really does not want to go. He is unsure, which means he does want to go, but is anxious about it.

Siriisatwat · 16/10/2021 20:12

@forinborin to be honest, I’m a terrible flirt when pissed and my eyesight isn’t great. I’d end up trying to shag a zombie and would get the whole village killed.

Original poster
forinborin · 16/10/2021 20:09

@momamama

I'm a midwife, so probably still a midwife!
Actually, on that one. A friend is a (very senior) midwife with a keen interest in the history of medicine, and she says that probably about 90% of the midwife core lore hasn't changed in hundreds of years. As in, medications change and obviously culturally things are very different, but she reckons she'd need just a few weeks to make a very 21st century professional midwife from a 18th century "village wisewoman" (18th century as we discussed it in the context of "Outlander" series)
OP posts:
Original poster
forinborin · 16/10/2021 20:05

@Siriisatwat

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.
There's a fierce competition for that highly coveted post already as I can see. How many years of experience are we talking Are? Are you able to blurt out ominous prophesies when under influence? Always a plus.
OP posts:
Dogmum40 · 16/10/2021 19:54

@Siriisatwat

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.
Ooh I could actually be the village drunk too! I’d be awesome at that particular job!!
Siriisatwat · 16/10/2021 19:30

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.

MajesticWhine · 16/10/2021 19:24

I'm a psychologist, but assuming that a simple post-apocalyptic life would eliminate some of our mental distress, there may be not much call for that.
So really I don't have a lot to offer. I would probably wash the dishes or pick fruit or something. I don't mind manual labour.

mbosnz · 16/10/2021 19:21

I'll forage, tidy, and wrangle animals and kids. I'm an excellent catherd.

Dogmum40 · 16/10/2021 19:19

I have no useful skills so I would be the village idiot! But to be brutally honest I’m not a runner and I wouldn’t run even if I was being chased so I’ll be one of the first dead so I wouldn’t need to worry about my lack of useful skills Grin

momamama · 16/10/2021 19:11

I'm a midwife, so probably still a midwife!

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2021 19:09

@ThinkingMam

As a current therapist working with offenders, I’ll probably end up opening the first Zombie Rehabilitation Centre. On the side, I might work with the peri/menopausal militia to target their aggression appropriately (a point and go approach, probably).
I worked with offenders for a long time. It's fun. I'll volunteer at the ZRC when I'm not womanning the barricades.

I also volunteered in youth corrections so I could do some teaching. A is for Apocalypse, B is for Brains. That skill of thing.

ThinkingMam · 16/10/2021 19:01

As a current therapist working with offenders, I’ll probably end up opening the first Zombie Rehabilitation Centre. On the side, I might work with the peri/menopausal militia to target their aggression appropriately (a point and go approach, probably).

BasiliskStare · 16/10/2021 18:12

Have a WWI sword - bit rusty - will travel - happy to be on perimeter look out watch as long as my glasses don't steam up & get a cup of tea every so often .

SilverOtter · 16/10/2021 18:08

I'm training to be a doctor, so I imagine I'd still be a doctor/healer

Dutch1e · 16/10/2021 18:00

I'm a journalist/documentarian with a shallow knowledge of almost anything you care to ask about. So I think I'd be the travelling internet, sharing information about other communities and answering the kind of question we ask Alexa.

2bazookas · 16/10/2021 17:57

@Livpool

I'm a test analyst so I could just find fault with lots of things?! 🤷🏼‍♀️
Useful skill for selecting the breeding males.
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/10/2021 17:46

@goldenlilliesdaffodillies

I could start an amateur dramatics group to keep the troupes entertained? I could put on dodgy pantomimes as some form of punishment for captured zombies. I could also write songs of woe to be passed down to future generations.
If you have read Station Eleven you will know that what we will really need after the apocalypse is Shakespeare.
Skinnyankles · 16/10/2021 17:32

Oooh! I think I'd be a handy person to have around! I'm medical which is always useful, I can sew and actually really good at fixing things (just fixed my oven and most engineering type things)

I went with the shooting range and the owner told me I should take it up I had no issues hitting the tiny target. However, I'm a vegetarian and do t think I could shoot animals.

I'm also a crap cook and very squeemish with rats - this will negatively balance out my positive attributes.

goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 16/10/2021 17:24

I could start an amateur dramatics group to keep the troupes entertained? I could put on dodgy pantomimes as some form of punishment for captured zombies. I could also write songs of woe to be passed down to future generations.

speakout · 16/10/2021 17:24

Shaman.

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