Page 2 | What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

forinborin · 2021-10-14T22:12:49+00:00

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be? With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living. And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. [grin] What about you?

PickUpAPepper · 18/10/2021 20:49

@Lactarius

I am a hobbyist blacksmith with my own forges & tools (have made tools, knives, axes, spears & swords), have a background in toxicology, am a pretty good shot and have quite a lot of experience in backwoodsmanship.

Got quite a large stash of books and kit

Friend. Have some nice fresh raspberries.

My dh is now removing the sandpit.

TheLastLonelyBakedBeanInTheTin · 18/10/2021 20:49

Not look out. If you were depending on me to be on watch it would all go wrong. I get distracted really easily and also fall asleep really quickly every time I sit down day or night.

Underamour · 18/10/2021 20:21

I would teach people how to - get clean water, connect solar panels to appliances, weave, carve wood, build a shelter, preserve meats. I love that type of thing- always on Howdini learning new stuff. Love this thread too!

MrsJackWhicher · 18/10/2021 19:39

Hooker.
Oldest profession innit😁

Lactarius · 18/10/2021 19:27

I am a hobbyist blacksmith with my own forges & tools (have made tools, knives, axes, spears & swords), have a background in toxicology, am a pretty good shot and have quite a lot of experience in backwoodsmanship.

Got quite a large stash of books and kit

BasiliskStare · 18/10/2021 19:17

@Thecazelets - I'll sit by you with my rubbish antique sword & my bursitis ) ha ha We shall go out together and let the others get away.

Lovely to see vets on board

shrodingersbiscuit · 18/10/2021 19:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Thecazelets · 18/10/2021 18:46

Without contact lenses or my RA meds I'll be a sitting (hobbling) duck for the zombies. Which is fine by me - I've always said I don't much fancy life in the raggle taggle survivalist era anyway. No hot baths, no thanks. So I'll offer myself up as a slightly gnarled decoy so all the useful people can get a head start.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 18/10/2021 18:24

Grow veg, first aid, ensure the 'law' is upheld, organise everyone- l'm good at organising.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2021 17:38

I think when I first joined MN I was looking for a different sort of advice than, 'start with an axe head'

InMySpareTime · 18/10/2021 17:27

You don't want to start with a sword, they need a lot of tempering, beating and folding for strength and flexibility. Start with an axe head and work up from there.

Thelnebriati · 18/10/2021 17:15

@PickUpAPepper

Have we had a metallurgist or smith appear yet?? I've seen medieval history programs about making simple forges to recycle scraps of iron. For some unknown reason my dh is curiously reluctant to allow me to experiment in this area, especially anywhere near him, the kids, the house and anything remotely flammable. "Anywhere near" meaning within 10 miles or so.

I double dare you to make a sword in the children's sand pit.

Grumpyosaurus · 18/10/2021 16:43

@peaceanddove

If you have read Station Eleven you will know that what we will really need after the apocalypse is Shakespeare

I studied far too much Shakespeare at university. Hated it. There's no fucking way I'm going to watch it post-Apocolypse, thank you very much.

The person who wrote Station Eleven had NO IDEA about deer stalking. Her bods went out with a pistol and no dogs. Now, you can stalk without a dog, and a lot of people do, but they're useful if a deer is injured and runs. And if you use a pistol you will very likely not kill it, and will really need a dog as it bolts over the horizon. The usual advice, if you plan to kill anything sizeable in the venison department, is to take a nice big rifle, like a .308, and have a decent aim.

So I wouldn't use it as a reference point.

But speaking of which, I know six blokes who stalk. Most of them are in the skilled trades, and would be very useful.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2021 14:42

@PickUpAPepper

Have we had a metallurgist or smith appear yet?? I've seen medieval history programs about making simple forges to recycle scraps of iron. For some unknown reason my dh is curiously reluctant to allow me to experiment in this area, especially anywhere near him, the kids, the house and anything remotely flammable. "Anywhere near" meaning within 10 miles or so.

Now I'm annoyed I didn't date the hot hydrologist I knew in my 20s.

Who knew I'd need him for MN Apocalypse Top Trumps years later?

PyjamaFan · 18/10/2021 14:33

@PickUpAPepper

My DH is a geologist with an MSc in Mineral Exploration

thepastisanothercountry · 18/10/2021 13:25

With almost no practical skills (I can kill, pluck, gut and cook a chicken if I must ) and being past child bearing age - my most likely fate is the makings of a good meal - after all they'll have to eat SOMETHING to survive!

peaceanddove · 18/10/2021 13:19

If you have read Station Eleven you will know that what we will really need after the apocalypse is Shakespeare

I studied far too much Shakespeare at university. Hated it. There's no fucking way I'm going to watch it post-Apocolypse, thank you very much.

PickUpAPepper · 18/10/2021 11:20

Have we had a metallurgist or smith appear yet?? I've seen medieval history programs about making simple forges to recycle scraps of iron. For some unknown reason my dh is curiously reluctant to allow me to experiment in this area, especially anywhere near him, the kids, the house and anything remotely flammable. "Anywhere near" meaning within 10 miles or so.

BasiliskStare · 17/10/2021 03:50

As well as plucking a pheasant I am actually quite good at wrapping presents - could that work - big leaves , string , bendy twigs - just a thought in case the apocalypse happens near Christmas

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2021 01:28

What's interesting is that you can't do Stone Age forwards in the modern world. All the surface iron is gone so it would be impossible to do. What's interesting is... could you skip some and go straight to solar/wind/sustainable? Thailand has done it in some hill tribes. Just skipped over development stages straight to the future.

Lessstressedhemum · 16/10/2021 23:52

I'll be the village healer/ban draoidh. I can make loads of herbal remedies, salves, balms, tinctures etc and I can forage for food/herbs. I can also grow food/herbs and seed save for future seasons. I'm also really good at making meals from almost nothing.
I can change an old fashioned Terry nappy, so I could pass that skill on when all the pampers run out.

Clandestin · 16/10/2021 23:03

@Squooka

Actually, what would be really useful is a good working knowledge of simple mechanics and how to use levers and pulleys and stuff like that, and build simple machines that to move logs and break rocks and so forth. And how to build ploughs and artesian wells.

Has anyone else read Riddley Walker? That's the post-apocalyptic scenario I'm working on. I think it's set c. 1000yrs post nuclear apocalypse and is written in a sort of pidgen English dialect that completely gets into your head. I was half way through it before I realised it was set in East Kent, where I grew up. All around the A20.
Anyway, it's a great book, but also has some very handy insights into post-apocalypse living.

(No rumpa no dum no zantigen Eusa come)

God, I used to teach Riddley Walker. Shall we be travelling puppeteers preaching the ills of nuclear fission?

midlifecrash · 16/10/2021 23:00

I can make pies. Can I barter pies for things?

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 16/10/2021 22:59

In a world without opticians, once my last pair of glasses has broken it'll be any occupation which can accommodate only being able to see things when they're between 3 and 5 cm from my nose.

cinnabarmoth · 16/10/2021 22:55

@Squooka I love Riddley Walker - saw a really good theatre adaptation in Manchester in the 80s too. It's one of my all time top 10 books.