Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

368 replies

forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:12

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. Grin

What about you?

OP posts:
ChampagneCommunist · 14/10/2021 23:39

I can make blankets, light fires with. Single match and milk cows.

But not all at once.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 23:39

@RaininSummer

I will be mainly cooking, sewing, gardening, weaving and knitting socks I think. I hope I would be useful enough that the tougher folk would find me worth defending and feeding
If you knit me socks, I'll shoot zombies and hunt for you.

They'd better not be scratchy socks

MingeofDeath · 14/10/2021 23:38

Ooh good question OP! I would be a herbalist and nurse

EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues · 14/10/2021 23:37

I’d be rescuing, guarding, and copying the few tattered books being blown to pieces by desert winds. When Tories came with guns to demand I give up the evil volumes my sweetly reasonable advocacy would shame them to tears.

(Obvs I and my secret team would be spreading word of revolution through encoded messages in the illustrations.)

madroid · 14/10/2021 23:36

@EatYourVegetables We could form a Menopausal Zombie Squad motto: who dares bitterly regrets it

foxgoosefinch · 14/10/2021 23:35

Ha - reminds me of Douglas Adams’s Life, the Universe & Everything, where 1980s middle-class British office worker Arthur Dent finds himself living on prehistoric Earth and his only useful modern skill is to teach prehistoric humans to make sandwiches and he becomes known as the Sandwich Maker. I could be a Sandwich Maker 😄

tabulahrasa · 14/10/2021 23:35

“They are, also tastier, which is important!“

And much easier to milk, lol

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2021 23:35

Apocalyptic medic.

I've got a shit hot immune system, none too grand at physical stuff, but my bandaging is a work of art.

RaininSummer · 14/10/2021 23:35

I will be mainly cooking, sewing, gardening, weaving and knitting socks I think. I hope I would be useful enough that the tougher folk would find me worth defending and feeding

madroid · 14/10/2021 23:34

I'll keep chickens and be the GUARDIAN OF THE BOOK.

I'm just not sure which book....

MultiStorey · 14/10/2021 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatYourVegetables · 14/10/2021 23:33

I have a lot of barely suppressed anger. Surely that would help? I’m imagining a baseball bat and those soft squishy half rotten zombie heads.

Oh and I can cook (incl building a fire, chopping wood etc).

What I’m saying is that I’m calling dibs on the axe, the cleaver, and all large knives in out tribe.

tabulahrasa · 14/10/2021 23:31

Well if we’re doing specific animals... I’m good with dogs and rabbits, ok with horses, sheep, goats, chickens and my cow experience is a bit more sketchy... but I feel like they’re basically horses but easier?

Fillybuster · 14/10/2021 23:30

Happy to muck in with gardening and I'm a good cook, excellent baker and sourdough queen....so there's that, too Wink

XenoBitch · 14/10/2021 23:29

@Mymapuddlington

I vote *@Twinsmum2003* aka aunt Lydia has to make her own community
Ha, yes! Post apocalyptic world should not be Gilead!
Fillybuster · 14/10/2021 23:29

I reckon I could combine a heretofore-totally-useless academic background in mythology with a fairly useful career in marketing and comms to become the community folklorist cum storyteller, collecting and retaining all the essential knowledge that would otherwise be lost in the new dark ages. I can already picture myself sitting around the fire recounting the tales of days gone by, and weaving new children's stories about such lost nuggets as the dire consequences of crossing the road when RedMan is on the prowl...

PersonaNonGarter · 14/10/2021 23:28

I am on a trade body so I reckon I would be a merchant. Make sure that the headscarves get traded properly.

Wazzzzzzzup · 14/10/2021 23:28

The safety planner. I've seen enough movies to have an actual zombie safety plan😂 could be adapted for vampires. I even know where I could steal a generator from. Concrete walls around a place woth enough space to grow our won, have some small livestock, i know how to mask our smell, etc😂
But only if it's the night zombies or slow Walking dead ones. Not WWz...

I really put a lot of thought into it... Freaking myself out now...

Bounce55 · 14/10/2021 23:27

I'd be caring for the sick/injured and looking after the animals

Mymapuddlington · 14/10/2021 23:27

I vote @Twinsmum2003 aka aunt Lydia has to make her own community

TheSpiral · 14/10/2021 23:27

I have considered this at length. As a journalist, my idea is that I become the lynch pin of the community, travelling around and getting information and sharing it with the community in some form of newsletter. In reality I’m not sure my information would be worth much. A few turnips maybe?

JaceLancs · 14/10/2021 23:26

I’m a great cook so I’m going to be the village baker or something similar
I can also sew, knit, crochet and weave so could produce clothes and household linens

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/10/2021 23:26

@Twinsmum2003

Aunt Lydia
AnneLovesGilbert · 14/10/2021 23:25

@Sportsnight

I can make one type of cheese. Hope you all like mozzarella.
You’re in!
AnneLovesGilbert · 14/10/2021 23:25

@MrsTerryPratchett

I'm a crack shot. So that.
See now that’s actually useful.
Swipe left for the next trending thread