Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

368 replies

forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:12

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. Grin

What about you?

OP posts:
Twofurrycatsagain · 15/10/2021 00:18

I'd like to be a Xena type. I'm ok at archery, less so with a sword but I do have a fencing epee.
More realistically I'm in charge of turnip soup.

Mymapuddlington · 15/10/2021 00:17

Thanks @adarkwhisperinthewoodwasheard if we have to flee your job is to distract and be killed by the zombies/bad guys.

StCharlotte · 15/10/2021 00:15

@adarkwhisperinthewoodwasheard

Pretty sure I'm not one of the ones who will survive an apocalypse. Not sure I want to - I have mediocre practic skills and really CBA with the graft, so I guess you can all use my body as a human shield or decoy
Or to eat?
StCharlotte · 15/10/2021 00:14

I'm pretty good at archery so can be in the Defence Corps.

I also have a certificate in "campcraft" so I can create toilet roll holders out of twigs and I can put up a bell tent. Honestly I'm practically Ray Mears.

Allywill · 15/10/2021 00:14

I have little in the way of practical skills, can cook ok but I don’t think that would be enough. So I think I would be a negotiator. Think there would be a demand for that, mediating, settling disputes between communities and within individual groups. Not the first thing that comes to mind but in terms of rebuilding - could be invaluable I think.

adarkwhisperinthewoodwasheard · 15/10/2021 00:14

Pretty sure I'm not one of the ones who will survive an apocalypse. Not sure I want to - I have mediocre practic skills and really CBA with the graft, so I guess you can all use my body as a human shield or decoy

LegArmpits · 15/10/2021 00:10

Oh yeah and I can improvise with Baking Recipes.
#shitscientist

LegArmpits · 15/10/2021 00:09

I'll fix all your shit by turning it off then back on again. Like a stupid wizard.

Also I have a drill and I can use it.

julieca · 15/10/2021 00:05

I can look after kids, run a creche and cook nice meals with a variety of ingredients to hand.
But if there were zombies, I can't run fast so I would quickly die.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/10/2021 00:05

ds can light a fire with flint and steel. he can come.
dd is a useful sort for being helpful.

LoveFall · 15/10/2021 00:04

I have pretty good mediation skills so I could help settle disputes.

I could also grow food, cook, and make bread.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/10/2021 00:03

crochet making warm blankets
sewing
cooking
I could probably grind wheat.
make do and mending.

hair you would just comb daily and it would be fine after about three months

Fernhilde · 14/10/2021 23:54

I can make twine from nettles.

EatSleepRantRepeat · 14/10/2021 23:51

@XenoBitch

Any dentists about? We will need them!
No but have a toolbox and pliers...? Blush
XenoBitch · 14/10/2021 23:47

Any dentists about? We will need them!

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 23:47

@RaininSummer

For people who will defend me from the zombies, I will make the softest of soft socks, Mrs Pratchett.
You're on.

Now I need an AK47 from somewhere. Where'd that foragers go?

EatSleepRantRepeat · 14/10/2021 23:46

I can ride horses, can go for ages without food, and am a fairly good shot with a crossbow, so I could be the sheriff or some sort of messenger with other tribes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 23:46

Lots of details to be ironed out. Grin

We need headscarves because my hair is shit after two days of not washing. Although I'm a fan of the East African plaits and mud arrangement. Very sensible and smells better than unwashed hair.

RaininSummer · 14/10/2021 23:44

For people who will defend me from the zombies, I will make the softest of soft socks, Mrs Pratchett.

SolitaryTree · 14/10/2021 23:42

Things that I could be useful for are that I could farm ducks, cook and I have some knowledge of medicine but nothing professional, just through learning in my own time. I’m pretty clued up on survival skills.
I’ve also shot a gun.

DaisyNGO · 14/10/2021 23:42

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Headscarf maker. For some reason, my brain associated lockdowns, post apocalypse etc with us all reverting to wearing headscarves. I'm reasonable with a needle, so my business is sorted.
Why do we need headscarves?!

I have no skills to offer in this scenario, unless you count making the mumsnet chicken feed 5000. But in this case, I'd get shot by Terry for having a chicken?!

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 14/10/2021 23:42

I'm an actor. I actually think I'll get more work post-apocalypse, when people are starved of entertainment, and there's less competition from reality TV stars, stand up comics and YouTubers.

TotallyKerplunked · 14/10/2021 23:42

Chemist here so I guess I'd be useful making explosives. If you just want boring then I can use my skills to purify water.

2bazookas · 14/10/2021 23:42

Nearly everyone died in the apocalypse, right? So I'm going to repopulate the country by farming high quality babies. Organic and freerange of course. I shall be recruiting suitable persons with a womb from MN, so form an orderly queue over there.

   Also recruited from MN  will be sensible  post menopausal  women with lots of expertise on men,  your job will be selecting suitable stud males. The studs  will live free-range  on  some small Scottish island, except during the mating season.  

  Lots of details to be ironed out.
Original poster
forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:40

I knew there are many similarly skilled people!

We will be a small and probably short-lived, but a very proud tribe. With plenty of socks!

OP posts: