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Original poster

What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

368 replies

forinborin · 14/10/2021 23:12

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order. Grin

What about you?

OP posts:
Parky04 · 15/10/2021 10:05

@XenoBitch

Any dentists about? We will need them!
Don't seem to need them in The Walking Dead. They have perfect teeth!
MatildaIThink · 15/10/2021 09:55

I would make and sell anti-biotics which in a post-apocalyptic scenario are going to be worth more than their weight in gold.

DrSbaitso · 15/10/2021 09:50

Wandering minstrel, dancer and storyteller.

I'd starve, but that's what would happen now if not for my husband and a bit of entirely unearned and undeserved good fortune.

FoxgloveSummers · 15/10/2021 09:43

I have a lot of farmers in my family so I’ll bring them along to be actually useful and I’ll sneak in hidden under a cow.

But once in, I’ll run the radio station. Transmitting @cinnabarmoth’s music and @Fillybuster & @Ozanj’s stories to all in the community and keeping us in contact with other communities. Want a job, @TheSpiral?

Merryoldgoat · 15/10/2021 09:40

I can sew and crochet so I’ll have a shop that provides clothes and knitwear.

dreamingbohemian · 15/10/2021 09:29

@ipswichwitch

dreamingbohemian you’re on the defence committee then - we’ll deploy snipers on the ramparts, there’s a portcullis too (I love that word!), plus my 7yo has outstanding aim with conkers and a catapult!
Excellent.

Anyone without useful skills is now an official conkers collector

ipswichwitch · 15/10/2021 09:25

dreamingbohemian you’re on the defence committee then - we’ll deploy snipers on the ramparts, there’s a portcullis too (I love that word!), plus my 7yo has outstanding aim with conkers and a catapult!

MintyCedric · 15/10/2021 09:22

Also recruited from MN will be sensible post menopausal women with lots of expertise on men, your job will be selecting suitable stud males.

That sounds like the job for me...I'm peri menopausal and 5 years divorced so I may be willing to train the borderline cases if necessary Grin.

Out of breeding season, I'll be the potter, with a sideline in baking, cooking, butchery.

CrochetyCrochet · 15/10/2021 09:11

I can weave willow so can make baskets to keep all the socks, turnips and small babies in.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 15/10/2021 09:00

I’m good at working out plans of action, schedules and delegating / figuring out people’s strengths so I shall be In Charge.

BackInBlackAgain · 15/10/2021 08:55

I am awesome with a crossbow, headshots all the way

RozHuntleysLeftHand · 15/10/2021 08:54

Ooh plus I could trade the rabbit skins to all the sewing people, nice warm mittens and clothes for all!

RozHuntleysLeftHand · 15/10/2021 08:52

I can trap, skin and butcher rabbits.

I also used to keep chickens and goats, so I'm definitely the meat/goats cheese woman.

Haven't got as far as butchering deer but I reckon I could give it a good go!

vampirethriller · 15/10/2021 08:45

I can fish, cook and knit so I'll be cooking fish suppers and running knitting classes.

Aposterhasnoname · 15/10/2021 08:43

I’m health and safety so I’ll be the one insisting we all wear gloves while rubbing two sticks together to make fire.

ShittyGlitter · 15/10/2021 08:41

Village crazy lady

evilharpy · 15/10/2021 08:40

I can run the pilates classes. A post apocalyptic world still needs pilates, right?

dreamingbohemian · 15/10/2021 08:34

@ipswichwitch yay! Thank you!

I hate to tell you but your castle will also be a draw for every ruffian in the county, I can work on the defences though. Glad to see some snipers on this thread.

massistar · 15/10/2021 08:34

I've had this actual conversation with my family. My DH is a dab hand at DIY and building shit out of nothing, DD knows all about foraging and DS is generally very handy as well as being a judo black belt. Handy to fend off the zombies? Me? I'm the weakest link but reckon I'm the emotional glue that holds us all together and I have fabulous organisational skills. Take one, take us all.

ipswichwitch · 15/10/2021 08:32

AndStand you can have a place in my apocalypse castle - my dad used to keep bees so I could help out, plus someone has to supply my 7yo with honey - he’s like Winnie the Pooh the amount he gets through!

thelegohooverer · 15/10/2021 08:32

I’m good at detecting bullshit and would gladly stop suffering fools and shoot the bombastic idiots who think they know what they’re doing but will drag the whole group down with their stupidity.

tenredthings · 15/10/2021 08:30

I can build anything out of anything. My post apocalypse shelters will be the grand designs of mutant waste dump dwellings !

ipswichwitch · 15/10/2021 08:28

RubyFowler it is a prime dwelling indeed - thought I’d need a bit more than my scintillating wit and sparkling repartee to get all the useful people in 😂 plus DH used to be a bus driver so he’s in charge of collecting everyone!

dreamingbohemian yes I’ll definitely need a mass catering chef so you’re all on board!

AndStand · 15/10/2021 08:28

I'm a beekeeper so I could help provide honey?
I'm also pretty good at herbal remedies so I'll volunteer for that too.

IfImLyingImDying · 15/10/2021 08:23

Medicine woman. Rather like the witch upthread.

I’d also repair clothes.

And cook. Like Mrs Lovett.