Bit her during labour

I kept saying I had to go home to feed the cat, we didn’t even have a cat but I was very worried that it would be hungry

Thank you ladies ❤️

Yes, maybe women's aid will be a big help @Tillow4ever in teaching you how to get your ducks in a row so when the time comes, if it does, you'll be prepared financially as well as emotionally.
Stay safe and keep loving those DC like you are doing already.

@Tillow4ever
That makes me sad. You sound like a fab mum. Please ask for help from woman’s aid or even family? Keep going, you will do it one day soon.

@Tillow4ever
Oh, Bless you. It sounds as if your youngest is comfortable discussing his feelings about his dad with you, thank goodness.
You ARE in a catch-22 situation, but one day you will be free of this tyrant...hang in there...

[quote SwtPeasOnEarth]@Tillow4ever
I'll tell you that every one of the incidents you posted about were NOT OKAY! I hope you've either gotten rid of that callous man or he's had a complete 180° change of personality and treats you with the love and respect you so richly deserve.![/quote]
Thank you. I wish to god I had managed to get rid of him, but I’ve been trapped for too many years now - he refused to leave, I couldn’t afford to just walk out with the kids as I’d need to keep paying until the mortgage or I’d lose a huge amount of equity if we lost the house to the bank. My husband refused to sign the papers to let me put the house on the market, as despite 2 independent valuations, he felt the house was worth much more (it’s not) and wouldn’t let me put it up for sale at that price (basically another way to force me to stay). He then said that he’d fight for at least 50/50 custody of the kids - which he knew would hurt me, and the kids would hate (hell, he would hate it too - he’s always yelling at the kids, my youngest asked me the other day if dad was like this before he was born, I said yes, he asked if he was like it before we had any children, I said no thinking that I didn’t want him to think I chose to be with such a horrid person and because he wasn’t this bad pre-kids. My youngest then said so he’s like this because he hates us so much - obviously I tried to reassure him but it’s certainly the impression he gives, so why would he want sole responsibility for the kids 50% of the time?). So I stayed so I would always be around to protect the kids from his words.

My youngest is now nearly 10 - so getting to an age where courts would take all of their opinions into account. I am hoping that will help, but still need to get him to leave or work out how to afford for me to leave.

@Tillow4ever
I'll tell you that every one of the incidents you posted about were NOT OKAY! I hope you've either gotten rid of that callous man or he's had a complete 180° change of personality and treats you with the love and respect you so richly deserve.!

I thought you were going to say to deal with the pain but the reality is better 😆. Don't think I'd let you forget that one either 🤣

[quote Gretaburley]@namechangedasscared. Your dh sounds horrible. This is the only post in this thread that is sad.
What a non empathetic man he is. Watching you in pain and making you suffer more.
Really gave me the shivers.[/quote]
Thank you! I've always wondered if I was overreacting in how I felt about what happened. You're the only person that's ever said that it really wasn't ok.

@namechangedasscared. Your dh sounds horrible. This is the only post in this thread that is sad.
What a non empathetic man he is. Watching you in pain and making you suffer more.
Really gave me the shivers.

Under the influence of gas and air:
Punched DH hard on the arm and swore at him because he was hurting my hand squeezing it too tightly.
Kept shouting 'I have pooed myself - have a look and see if I have'. I hadn't but must have been convinced I had.
Kept scowling at the midwife and saying 'You are such a bully' 'Isn't she a bully?' 'Bullies shouldn't get away with it' when she told me to push. She was lovely, not a bully at all.
When they said DD was a girl- which we already knew- said 'I would have preferred a Kitkat' and laughed loudly (DS1 had said it when we asked if he would like a baby brother or sister).

I bet one of the midwives hand when I was pushing

Not as good as thinking it was a sausage roll mind 😂😂

Well all these make me feel better for 'making too much noise in the ward' (they wouldn't believe I was in labour and just gave me paracetamol and told me I couldn't make that much noise on the ward)
Obviously I was in labour
I even felt the need to apologise when I sent my thank you card 🙄

@StrangeToSee I got a bit teary eyed about the way your instincts kept kicking in and getting you through 💐

Was chatting to DH about the gas and air, as it was the first time I’d ever had it. The midwife was sat across the room but said she’d never had it before either, so I winched myself out of the birthing pool and thrust the mouth piece towards her while whispering “want a toot? I won’t tell”

1st labour - back to back. I grabbed at my DH's Tshirt, also got his nipple. It was bruised for more than a week.
2nd labour I also bit my DH. He was stroking my face, I told him to stop, he didn't so I chomped down, pure reflex. The midwife just looked him in the eye and said, well, she did ask you to stop !
Funnily it was DH that wanted a 3rd

Great thread.
I said 'fuck', 'sorry,sorry', when I had my spinal, pre CS.

Later on a consultant with a couple of students came into the room while I was crowning. Apparently I shouted: “Can you GET OUT, this is a birthing room not Kings Cross fucking station!” They left.

I gave birth in the old Royal London hospital before all the work was done; the Victorian building. Whilst off my face on gas and air I remembered that the Elephant Man had a home in that building, and told the midwives all about it. They clearly thought I was hallucinating but it’s completely true - I found out later that the film was actually shot in the building.

Not me but dh. I preface this by saying I was overdue and being induced, and that he hadn't been with me at my 'sweep' appointment a few days before. It was the first internal he'd witnessed.

I was in a side room a few hours after having the first dose of gel put in. Consultant knocks on the door, introduces himself and pretty much straight away turned me into a human glove puppet as they do.

"Any questions?"
"Nope" says I, pretty much happy to go with the flow and glad things may be getting going soon.
Dh, looking pale and faintly horrified looks him in the eye and says "Yep - why did you bother to knock?" 😂

Brilliant thread!

For my DS1 I was determined to have a water birth. They gave me pethadine quite early on and I was told I couldn’t go in the pool until I was 4 hours clear of having had that and she least 7cm dilated. There was another woman in labour also wanting to use the only pool so it was a “race”. 4 hours later, pretty much to the minute, I was at 7cm and told they’d go get it ready for me - I pretty much started to get myself up and changing into my tankini I had bought for the occasion to be told it was going to take a while to run it. Finally gets to the time and they tell me I have to leave the gas and air behind, but they’d be more in the pool room. So I waited for a contraction, got through it then took a massive lungful and said “let’s go” - I pretty much started running down the hall screaming at my husband and the midwife to hurry up because I needed to get back to the gas!

Anyway, got in the pool and the pain relief from the water was amazing. Didn’t need the gas! They said it was too hot really, but could leave it for a bit as it was helping. The pain soon started to intensify so I got back on the gas. Then they turned the shower head on with cold water to cool the pool down. I suddenly got so, so hot they gave me the shower head to spray myself and cool down. So one hand was on the shower head, the other on the gas and air mouthpiece. Suddenly had a big contraction and just slid straight under the water! My husband had to grab me and pull me up - he said I was trying to use the gas like a scuba oxygen tank mouthpiece! After that he had to hold onto me to make sure I didn’t do it again (I had massive bruises from where he was holding onto me).

With DS2 I remember starting to cry and saying I was scared. My husband said “why are you scared? You’ve done this before!” My absolute rock of a midwife leaned into him and said “perhaps that’s WHY she’s scared” - shut him right up!

With DS3 I was in the birthing pool and in horrendous pain. I was BEGGING for an epidural - the midwife looked at my husband and asked him and he said no! So she said let’s try some pethadine but you’ll need to get out of the pool. I turned around, got up real close in her face and said “you can fuck right off of you think I’m getting out of this water” (I’m not normally like that at all - when I remembered the next day I was mortified and found her to apologise to). I did get out, pethadine was as useless as it was with my first son. I get to the pushing stage - husband told the midwife I wasn’t using the gas properly so they took it away from me (I absolutely was using it properly). The level of pain I was in was unreal (I’m crying thinking about it actually and this is nearly 10 years ago) so I tried to bite my husbands hand (it seemed fair as he took away the thing I could bite down on). Then we were having an argument about the baby name - I desperately wanted one name but he really didn’t. So I was yelling “come on xxxx” and he kept saying through gritted teeth “his name is not xxxx”. I kept doing it! Then I asked the midwife if she thought I should be the one to name the baby as I go through the pain - but she wouldn’t be drawn in to the argument (maybe if I’d not told her to fuck right off she’d have been more supportive to be fair).

This thread has properly made me laugh reading it 😂

When i gave birth to my twins the registrar started telling me the risks if i needed to go into surgery in a very serious manner. I was off my face on gas and air so was just laughing and giggling at her. Turns out all was well and didn't need surgery! Gas and air would be my drug of choice!

They forgot to take the gas and air off me after I gave birth to my second (they had to give it back after the birth while they dealt with my haemorrhage because it was really painful but didn't take it back after they finished dealing with it) and I was huffing away on it for a long time, half dreaming as I had been awake for two days, when I suddenly shouted out "Things are happening but I don't think they're real!". The midwife typing up the paperwork in the corner of the room burst out laughing and they took the gas and air away from me not long after that.

Only just stumbled across this thread but I'm hissing with laughter, particularly at the starfish in birthing pool situation.

During a very long Labour with my first, I began hallucinating that colleagues of mine were peering round the door at me. Shouted at my husband for letting people know that I was in labour

When asked if I had lost my plug, proceeded to say 'yes, and it keeps coming. I feel like a magician pulling a magic scarf from a hat' which I thought was quite eloquently put.