I have a few painful autoimmune conditions, so we have a cleaner once a week. Currently, I’m in a very bad flare, sleeping through the pain, etc. I asked if she could change the bed and I’d just stay in the living room until she was done. I fell asleep on the sofa in just a few minutes and then I awakened when she was kindly telling me I could get back in bed. Already embarrassing.
I sleep with a stuffed platypus every night. My condition causes really painful trouble breathing so hugging him makes it a bit better. He’s just the right size, etc. He’s been on countless hospital visits, hospitalizations, even a few surgeries with me.
I didn’t notice until the cleaner left and I found him drying on top of the hanging sheets that were also drying. I’m ashamed but I cried; his fur is a bit ruined, his insides are all balled and smell wrong; I think it may be time for him to go to the “beloved stuffed friends retirement shelf” with DH’s one-eyed childhood teddy.
But I can’t believe how upset I am. I feel just so sad. I know this is definitely some HUGE hospital PTSD, and fear of facing more pain without a comfort object. Erm… AIBU to ask if anyone has a stuffed friend who helps your fears at the age of mumble mumble over 30? And if you might cry (a lot) if they were semi-destroyed?