Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

I was in the coffee shop of a naice London store (Peter Jones in Sloane Square) , it was crowded but I saw a beautifully dressed woman sitting on her own at a table for four. I asked if one of the seats was free and she waved her hand to one of the chairs so I smiled , said Thankyou and sat down. I got on with eating my cake, drinking my coffee and checking my phone when all of a sudden, out of the blue , she leaned across the table and hissed at me “ The last woman who sat there was extremely interesting and a wonderful conversationalist, she knew a great deal about trees in Nigeria.” She then sat back in her chair, drank her coffee and ignored me completely. I have never finished a cake so fast. When I left she was still there, guarding her table like a malevolent spider.

Friend swore that she remembered one year when Good Friday fell on a Saturday hmm and then got really angry & defensive when called on it.
That has made me laugh!

Totally outing if anyone on here knows me... Also TW racist language.

As a student, I waitressed in a very posh country club in the Hamptons one summer. The place turned out to be ultra conservative, you had to be voted in, and there was clearly an unspoken rule that noone from a minority ethnic group was allowed.

The club was hosting a memorial service for a member who had played for one of the big New York basketball teams. A load of his old teammates were invited, the majority of whom were African-American.

I was standing at the bar getting a drink order, and an immaculately dressed old lady walked up to the bartender and said "Thomas, I think you ought to know, there's a n*gro on the patio".
He said "they're Xs old teammates, they're here for the memorial service."
There was a pause, and then she said
"Couldn't they get any white ones?" And wondered off.

I'm fairly sure I was doing the cartoon, mouth hanging wide open thing. I'd grown up in London my whole life til that point, and I'd never witnessed such overtly racist behaviour. It was nearly 20 yrs ago now, but to this day I can't think about this story without literally shaking my head to myself.

I would have taken his photo and reported him to the RSPCA. Sounds like he gets lots of practice.

Awful.

A gross one, sorry.

Many years ago, sitting in a window seat on a train, when a 20s bloke with only one leg sitting opposite started trying to chat me up. Since I was a) tired, and b) didn’t want to be chatted up, eventually I pretended to be asleep.

When I knew the train was finally pulling into my station I opened my eyes - to find the bloke openly wanking - and ejaculating all over my new shoes!

There were people sitting across the aisle, and nobody had noticed.

I was too shocked to say anything - just exited PDQ.
What pissed me off most was probably the fact that I had to throw my new shoes away.

when I was pg with DS5 people seemed to be obsessed about sex of the baby.
it was a bit boring tbh but one day one of my kids asked if they'll have another brother or a sister.
I said it doesn't matter, then asked what they thought.
DS2 replied: "I don't know mummy, but I hope it's a crocodile"

😳

High school- one of the prettiest girls in my year. They type the lads all fancied and tried to remove her bra every lunch time.
One day sat in art drawing faces and I decided I didn’t want to draw my own face so was looking around to draw someone else.
Spot the girl picking her nose and eating it. Then looking around to see if anyone is looking.
This goes on well past a three course meal, she picks her nose a final time looks at the prize at the end of her finger and eats it.
Then she makes eye contact with me, and puts her finger to her lips to shhhh me.
I was so disgusted and could never look at her the same afterwards.

Having lunch with a visiting BiL at a central London restaurant, when across the road we saw at least half a dozen blokes, all perfectly dressed up and bewigged like Joanna Lumley in Ab Fab. There must have been a ‘Patsy’ convention somewhere - it certainly livened up our lunch!

Another M6 Toll one, I was just turning off the roundabout to go down the ramp onto the motorway, when I met a car going the other way, fortunately on the hard shoulder.

That's the second time I have encounter a car in similar circumstances, I was getting off the motorway, the car in front of me had probably got off at the wrong junction but instead of going over the road bridge turned round and started down the off road the wrong way. I was able to block the car and flash lights.

@smudgemylife that reminds me of a time when we had just checked into an apartment hotel set in a beautiful nature reserve (not UK). Went upstairs and found a native bird in one of the bedrooms. Spent a while trying to coax it to the window but eventually calmed the complex manager to ask for help. He duly arrived, managed to get hold of the little bird then stunned us by breaking its neck and dropping it in the bin!!

Mine would have to be driving on a dual carriageway towards nearby countryside and a horse comes running out so I have to swerve to avoid it and break heavily. A police car then comes up chasing horse which jumps over central reservation and down the other side of road. About two minutes later same police car is hurtling down other side of road, I presume trying to catch horse though I don’t know how. I have someone from out of town in car with me who is also WTAF. Get to clients and tell them what happened only to be told oh yeah that happens quite a lot round here.

At university I was sharing a flat with some friends who had already lived there a year or two and had one of the other girls' old room.

They'd all gone out to watch the Superbowl and I'd gone to bed. No idea what time this was, but I woke up to my bedroom door being opened. This guy walks in and lifts up the bottom of my duvet to look at my feet, before putting it back down and wandering out. I sit up thinking "WTF" and then he comes back in, stares at me without saying a word, and walks off again. I vaguely recognise him as a friend of the girl who's room it used to be, so I get out of bed and follow him.

He goes into the kitchen, straight to the sink, unzips his trousers and starts peeing. In total shock, I just left the room and went back to bed, wishing I had a lock on my door...but thankfully he didn't come back in.

The girl who's friend it is said they used to have a bit of an on-off relationship and he probably thought she was still in the same room. She was mortified about the sink. He'd always seemed nice and polite when I'd met him in the past...

...and I still have no idea how he got in.

Daughter and I went to Thailand on a holiday. Got a taxi at the airport, knowing it was at least an hour trip to our hotel, but it was only mid-morning, so not a problem.

However, on the way the driver had to 1. drop some money off to his son 2. stop to get some fuel for the car 3. stop to get some food for himself 4. stop to get some coffee, as he hoped some caffeine would wake him up!

An hour into our trip - and google telling me we were only half-way there - I noticed his eyes starting to droop and thought "surely he's not falling asleep??" - he was - so I told him to pull over and get in the passenger seat so I could drive. AND HE DID!

Even tho I had never been to Thailand before, my daughter used Google to direct me and before we got to our hotel, he woke up and said he was good to go again!

After a night out in Central London, I was on a night bus to Brixton. Alone. I was quite tough and used to getting around by myself in those days and not easily frightened..
But that night, I was sat downstairs of the double decker when a man in a costume got in. It was a some sort of tight military costume, red and black, as you would see the royal family wear. He had a silver sword hanging off his belt and a full black face cover on like a spiderman. Like you just wouldn't see his face at all. He also wore gloves. He stood in the middle of the downstairs bit by the back doors, clearly showing off, as if enjoying everyone being scared of him. It was about 3am and he didn't look drunk, didn't seem dishevelled or anything suggesting he was coming back from a costume party.
I was properly freaked out and thought HD might pull his sword out and decapitate someone. I think I ended up leaving the bus way before my actual stop. At 3am! In Brixton! I was that freaked out..

Friend swore that she remembered one year when Good Friday fell on a Saturday and then got really angry & defensive when called on it.

My friend is quite hot on educational experiences for her kids. She travels with them, takes them to workshops, buys science kits, uses the library, and has loads of art supplies. She's very Christian; I'm an atheist.

She mentioned taking her children to our outstanding local history museum sometimes, though it was against her better judgement, just because they loved it so much. I asked what she meant about it being against her better judgement. "You know... dinosaur skeletons and stuff like that." I looked at her blankly and asked whether the kids were scared of the skeletons. She said no, her kids loved everything in the museum, but her husband didn't approve and she also felt the museum was problematic.

It took me a few more goes before I twigged that she disagreed with the museum's claims that some of their artefacts are millions of years old, when the Bible tells us that God created the Earth much more recently than that. I think her sect teach that all dinosaur fossils are fakes.

Years ago, living in the Middle East, we ordered a pizza for delivery. After ordering it, I said to my husband, “wouldn’t it be terrible if the delivery driver had an accident and died on the way to delivering your pizza? You’d feel guilty for the rest of your life.”

A while later, DH got a call on his mobile telling him that our pizza would be late as the delivery driver had had an accident so they had to send another pizza with another driver.

I was distraught. I decided to raise some money for the poor guy’s family then rang the pizza company to tell them. They thought it was hilarious and told me that the delivery driver was fine, had fixed his bike and was already back on the road.

I've had a few in my time.

I used to use the M6 and M6 Toll quite a lot. I've had to stop while the police caught swans.

I once saw a car pulling a trailer with a spitfire on it, the wings had been taken off but it was definitely a spitfire.

My carer was having a nap at his place and was woken up by someone letting themselves in via the balcony. My carer lives on the fifth floor.

Apparently the visitor had jumped out of a flat higher up and managed to catch the pigeon netting on his balcony.