I farted in my surgeons face today.

I was working alone in my clinic room and had an hour before my first patient, so didn’t worry and let one rip. It was a particularly pungent one of course!
Seconds later there was a knock at the door. When I opened it my boss was stood there, so I stood in the doorway, trying to pull the door shut behind me. There had been an appointment mix up and patient had turned up unexpectedly and could I see them? Yep, fine. Unfortunately, she then asked to come into my clinic room to give me a quick handover about the patient (obviously necessary to maintain confidentiality). Dying slightly inside, I let her in and she shut the door behind her. Nothing was said, but honestly that’s the quickest handover she’s her given me in 3 years of working with her!

I farted a silent fart as I left my doctors room once. I think that is actually worse . Hope that made you laugh!!!

Sure many of us who gave birth pooed theirselves and mw just wipes away

A fart is nothing

OP I have no doubt it happens a lot and medical professionals don't bat an eyelid. I always think I'm going to fart when having a smear or coil change. Or mammogram. Basically anything medical makes me feel like I might trump. So far I haven't. However after having DD I was being stitched when I needed a wee. The bottom end of the bed had been removed so the midwife could get closer so she told me just to go. I did but it was my first wee for hours (don't know if it's just me but both times I've given birth, the first wee is enormous) and it went on, and on. All over the floor. It felt like gallons. She did tell me to go though

Was about a week away from my due date and went to see my mum. Started laughing over something and then I proceeded to fart like a trumpet, which seemed to escalate the more I laughed. I then wet myself in her armchair

I suspect I did all sorts of disgusting things when I was giving birth.

But I farted one day when I was doing a session with my personal trainer. It was very noisy. We both giggled. Fortunately we were outside!

I sometimes want to fart when I am running and have become quite adept at clenching my buttocks to let it out quietly. But I occasionally run with people who have no such worries and let it out. I discreetly ignore.

Thank you for the laugh everyone, I’m crying 🤣🤣

Listen, a fart in the face when you work as a Dr or nurse is pretty much standard. Imagine being admitted to hospital with a mini fanta can stuck up your arse! .. not me btw , but one of my patients...on Boxing day!! 😆

During lockdown I seem to have quite forgotten that you shouldn't fart in public 😕

I had a very severe case of inflammatory bowel (painful) I managed to walk to doctors but it wasn't easy. After examining me, my very handsome Dr handed me a handful of tissue, yep shat on him.

This is so bloody funny ,you've actually made my day.
It could happen to anyone, put it this way better you farted on him than have him fart on you.
You are human.

Sooty

I was having a post-op examination and check up after a hysterectomy. I got up on the bed - you know how they tell you to pull your knees up and then let them flop to the side? - well, the incredibly posh consultant came round the curtains and I immediately did the floppy legs to give him an excellent view of my nethers. He said 'I just want to feel your tummy at this stage, please put your legs down and closed'. I felt both ashamed and told off. Before the examination when I was undressing, I made sure my pants were well hidden on the chair under my trousers. Why was I so eager and willing to display my flange but oh no, he mustn't see my pants!

I am still laughing at the poster who stroked the doctor''s arm and professed love for him and the one who asked about sex, to the doctor's consternation.

I hope this becomes a mumsnet classic, utterly brilliant!

I called the doctor a stupid cunt when I was sedated with gas and air during a colonoscopy.

Friend of mine was in the middle of DTD with her dh, when she felt a fart on its way. Never mind, he was deep in the throes of lusty passion and so unlikely to notice, let alone care.

Only it wasn’t a fart - it was diarrhoea. 😱

It's not as bad as mine, I was in labour and obviously had a really sore tummy. This is my third baby okay? I feel we are coming to the end so I shout i need to push, midwife comes over, I push on my next contraction and pooped all over the bed, all over the midwife, all over myself, thankfully DH was up top with me. I spent the next 2 hours pooping and contracting, I couldn't get up to go to the toilet. I was dizzy from the gas and air and just remember DH going to get some wet paper towels to clean me up. Horrid experience and really long lasting. Poor midwife.
I wanted to send her a gift but 4 years later I still haven't plucked up the courage

After having ds4 (now 10) I had the most awful wind. He was my first and only c section and no one warned me that I might get a bit of wind. Oh my god the farts. Ds kept falling asleep while breastfeeding and every time I farted his tiny little arms and legs would flail in alarm. Poor lamb didn’t get any peace for a few hours. He didn’t cry, would just startle at every trump while I shook with laughter.

In labour with DS I swallowed a lot of the gas and air. The next day in the post natal ward it all started coming out. I was asleep and the couple in the bay opposite were sitting quietly and the loudest fart I have ever done woke me up. The woman looked at her DH and asked if that was him, I pretended to still be asleep so they agreed it was their newborn at the foot of their bed in her cot. They even mentioned it in the ward round that it was absurdly massive. They were assured newborns can fart.