To want to settle a generation gap argument: older (female) relative is saying women had to give up work when they got married?

My mum had to leave one job when she got married in 1964. But then found another one where she was "allowed" to be married, and always worked apart from when I was little.

My mum worked for the NHS in a managerial role, fairly senior, in the early and mid 70s. She was well paid too, about £6k a year, more than my dad for a while.

She did give up work for a number of years in the late 70s and 80s when DC arrived but went back in the late 80s and worked until retirement.

I think possibly there weren't any nurseries who could take young children as there are now? She didn't have any family help. So maybe working wasn't even an option?

My parents married in 1953. My mum gave up work straight away as it is what was expected. I got married in 1988. I remember the priest asking me if I intended to carry on working when I was married. It was a question that took me by surprise because I didn't realise that anyone thought that was still the expectation.

And the lesser-known killer to the lifting of the marriage bar in the public sector is that the almost 3000 women who'd been forced to resign in the three years before the bar was lifted were given the right to get their jobs back, but only if they could prove their husbands were no longer supporting them on the grounds of desertion, separation or bad health! Aargh.

DMum was asked to leave during her first pg - early 1970s office job- apparently there was talk after her marriage of letting her go but they waited till first pg about year later. She wasn't pleased years later and I think felt p/t jobs she did get were all steps down -she worked in p/t jobs during our childhood mainly shop work.

Maternal DGM worked in factory when her kids were young - paternal DGM had few years off in war and then was back in very specialised skilled office job though Dads childhood - late 1940 and 50s which was unusal to be in office apparently.

MIL had few years off again 70s from factory work - left herself then found cleaning job she could take DH with - then few years after DH in school she was back in factory full time.

Yes it happened!

I was reading the biography of Dorothy Hodgkin (Nobel prize winning woman for X-ray crystallography) and it had a lot about how they faced this issue to keep her on doing research and essentially struggled to pay her officially when she got married and she was paid so much less etc

So much change has happened thankfully !

I have a feeling it was only in the late 80's that women coukd be married in Army. They certainly couldn't be mothers then .

My Mum had to give up her job with the education office (now the LEA) when she had me in 1969 so yes in a lot of jobs mother's weren't allowed to be employed

Yes, my mother had to leave work when she married in 1971.

and how come my mother and grandmother seemed to hold down jobs

Ask your Mother and grandmother? We can not possibly answer that.

My mother had to give up her job as a Librarian when she got married (this would have been around 1955). She got another job though, as a clerical worker in a factory. She took some time out, then went back to Librarianship when I was older.

Of the married women I knew, very few actually worked if they had children, even when the children were grown up.

Mum married in 1964 and had to leave her job - shop work in a small town. Husband was the breadwinner and therefore she had no need for a job.

Meant to say ‘no other childcare’!

I am sure my mother had to give up work when she married in 1967 she was emplyed by Inland revenue tax office, as I was born 11 months later it wasn't much earlier.

My late mum said that she was expected to leave U.K. civil service on her marriage in 1965. However she challenged that (ruling?) norm and retained her post - until she had her first child then had to leave as there was other child care. And I do remember hearing one of my quite young aunties (in the 1970s) say that unemployment was a result of married women taking all the jobs!

Maybe this was a bit later though. My grandma worked in various part time jobs she's 83 now married in the early 50s. But not sure if she left and went back later?

A lot of companies wouldn't employ married women. Some companies would, but not once you became pregnant.

Additionally, a woman needed her husband's permission to open a bank account. A single woman would have had to get her father's permission. Ditto mortgages.

You know you could have done your aunt the courtesy of believing her. And ask your mum when she first got her own bank account or loan without her dad or husband having to co-sign.

This stuff is very well known. Aren't you a bit embarrassed to enjoy the fruit of the hard work of previous generations of women and not know what they were up against?

Err yes, some employers refused to employ married women - and required women to quit on marriage - well into the 60s. The 70s in some cases.

This meant that in some circles, it was socially expected that women would stop working.

However, some jobs/employers did not, so it was entirely possible to continue working. However in certain circles, they would have been looked down on because if you were working it must mean that your husband wasn't a good enough breadwinner, so you must be a failure to have not bagged a good enough husband.

Let's be clear, some people still have that attitude! Some employers are more likely to employ a man because "he's a breadwinner" than a better-qualified woman, who's "only doing it for the pin money". That's an unofficial marriage bar...

My mum was forced to leave her job as a bank clerk when she married in the late 1940s. Company policy I presume.

If the woman didn't give up work when she married she was likely to if she had children. I agree it's boring and irrelevant to hear about someone's job and experiences if its 50 years old! I have a friend who worked for the same Client group as me. I continue to work in my field, and have years of experience and post graduate qualifications, she stopped working in the 90s and left the country! Its really annoying when I'm talking about something work related in she tells some story I've heard 10 times because her expereince is so out of date! It's like she's stuck in time.

My mother worked as a tax officer in a tax office before she got married. She was made to leave her job when she got married in 1960.

In many jobs - for example, the UK Foreign Office - women were not permitted to continue in their employment after marriage.

It was extremely common, and it certainly was the ‘done thing’, for women to leave work to focus on bringing up the children.

Depends on the job I guess. My Mum worked for the Inland Revenue and when she got married (early 50s) it was certainly the norm for women to stop working there once they were married. She always told me that he was only allowed to stay on as they were very short of people in her role at the time. (And of course there were no equal pay laws then so she was cheaper than a man!) But when she had her first baby that was it, she had to leave. No choice in the matter. I don't know whether that was national policy or just something the local manager enforced, but it was something my Mum certainly felt bitter about. When I was wavering about returning to work after my first baby she was very strong in her opinion that I should go back. She was a fantastic mother but I do think she always felt upset that she was denied other opportunities.