To want to settle a generation gap argument: older (female) relative is saying women had to give up work when they got married?

If you worked for Cadbury's, you were given a bible and a carnation on your last day before you left to get married.

My mum (nurse) continued to work after she married dad (doctor), but when they moved to another city so that he could take up his first consultant post, she applied for a job at the same hospital and was told that it wasn’t the “done thing” for a consultant’s wife to work and she’d be damaging his reputation. This was 1973. She not the sort to rock the boat, so she gave up, had us children and was a SAHM.

I think even if women weren’t officially barred from working, many probably did face disapproval and oppressive social conventions. And while we should thank those who rebelled against them, I don’t think we should judge those who didn’t feel up to the fight. We should just be grateful we have more choice.

My Mum got married in 1970 and I was born 9 months later. Mum returned to full time work before I was 1 and had even less time off a few years later when my sibling was born

As her husband's work came with a house, she had to give up her little flat and her job. She talks about it every now and then. It was a massive achievement for her to have managed to get herself into that position - having to give it all up for love was a big deal.

She's got the most brilliant mind, even now, and I often wonder about how much talent we lost out on as a country.

Yep absolutely. My mum got fired from her job in payroll in a big multinational company when she got married.

She did get another job but it was at a much lower pay and with no career progression

My aunt sold ads at a local newspaper - which to me would seem like quite a good job.

I think that was what pissed my Mum off - she'd worked hard to get a "better office job" - been thwarted taking A-levels by her parents wanting her to pay board - then had to leave the "better job" and was never able to get back on track.

Paternal DGM had more luck - she has more unusal skill set and did get back in the office and seemed to look down on DMum that she hadn't managed to have as much luck as it were and only got shop work . MIL has similar from her SIL who never went back to work - her SIL made it clear over years she looks down on shop work, cleaning and factory work - and cleaning and factory work is what MIL did. So maybe some snobbery in it all about certain jobs as well a bit well I got back so why couldn't you thrown in.

"Oh, silly women must be making this stuff up". It's a very misogynist approach to take.

Out of interest, OP - do you know when it became illegal for a man to rape his wife? Do you know when women were first allowed to take a mortgage in their own name?

My mum and dad worked together and she had to leave when they got married in 1961.

One of my grandmothers worked as a secretary all the way through the 50s and 60s. Her mother lived with them and provided childcare. My other grandmother was not able to continue working as a nurse. I’m not sure whether that was after marriage or after having children, or whether it was her employer’s decision or my grandfather’s, but I know she bitterly resented it and felt her life was very much curtailed.

My grandma told me of her friend who was made to give up teaching when she married. She was then widowed and had to write a letter to beg permission to teach again. Sad story.

My mum married in the late fifties & carried on working but she was a nurse so maybe that was more acceptable. I remember a lot of my friends mums working, but a fair few didn't. Most of the older teachers in my school were unmarried (in the 70s), they were the war generation & had never married. Younger teachers were married though.

My mum was a civil servant in 1970 when she got married. She was the only married woman in her office for a while. She carried on working until I was born in 1977. My dad was in the military and apparently loads of his colleagues made "jokes" that she only wanted to work for a running away fund and that he should put a stop to it as it wasn't "proper".

Your aunt would have been, at least, swimming against the tide somewhat and who of us as a young newly wed could hand on heart say we would have stood for change at that time (peers, society, spouse, all factors). Course there were those who did but age, experience, pressure etc etc make different people do different things.
Now she's older, maybe she has massive regrets and resents the family view that her gilded cage was a cushy number. Christ on a bike, I look at my softening jaw line and think of things I haven't achieved sometimes and recognise that doors are going to be closing not opening for me in the future, good knows what if be like in another 30 years of I felt the scorn coming from others for the person is become who didn't know who I was or actually asked me about it properly.
I think your aunt deserves a little bit more understanding than derision. She is identified and measured as the under performing kept woman in your families eyes. Maybe that was never her identity and she hated housework cos her heart was elsewhere and now realises that all her potential is buried in the past. Maybe that is enough of a reason for her to be looking back and trying to get her family who have her pegged and pidgeon holed to see her through her eyes a bit more.
It must be hard growing old when no-one really knows who you were or understand that you were making choices in different times.

Also factor in to how women's lives were then and how choices might be automatically constrained - no contraceptive pill until late 60s and no legal abortion until 1967. And don't assume that everything changed on those dates. Most drs would not initially have prescribed the pill to an unmarried woman and many wouldn't prescibe it to a married woman either because it was a married woman's job to procreate! Things change slowly. Much that young women today would completely assume as a right was not remotely possible very, very recently...

My granny was forced to leave her nice office job when she married but my nan kept working as a factory cleaner. My mother on law was forced to leave when she was pregnant as was my mum, but my mum did go back to another job.

Its very easy to forget how recent many rights are.

RSPCA had to leave if you married- I know this for sure

My mum continued to work and most of her female friends, from school, work and my dads friends wives worked this was from the 1950s onwards.

My grandma had to give up her job at Woolworths when she got married in 1940. My mum went back to work as a teacher shortly after having me in 1977 and my dad stayed at home having retired due to ill health.

Late 70s MIL had to give up her clerical position when she got married, it was company policy.

My mum carried on working as a nurse, but gave up as soon as she had kids and just did a few temp nursing roles.

It was definitely a thing. Even in the late 70s and early 80s, I remember that women that worked full time were considered unusual and an assumption made that their husband wasn't a good 'provider'.

There were definitely women who were forced to quit by employers once they were married. A good friend specifically held off her wedding for a change in policy when she worked at Halifax Building Society in the 70s. Even then she had to have signed permission to work from her husband and was put on a "married women's salary" so was paid about half of the equivalent men in similar roles.

My mum had to stop work because my dad worked for the same company. Company policy didn't allow married couples to work there. She did look for other work but as a young married woman employers were reluctant. Then she started having babies so they were even more reluctant. Once we were all born and the youngest got to two she did start work again but due to no/limited childcare at the time it was all evenings/nights/weekends and very low paid eg washing pots etc.

My parents married in about 1964 - My mum always worked but went PT