What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds

That's made my lockdown belly fat shake with laughter.

Writing you poetry. Then reading it to you.

Ah you are hilarious (and I agree) especially the mud spa @Hoppinggreen, I'm still laughing.

DD had the guitar playing, songwriting boyfriend. He seranated her with a song written to/about his mummy 😂.

I've got another one, every chef on telly talking about sexy food, unless it's your bf/dh's cock and balls served suggestingly it's not sexy 🙄.

Having a bath together is a farce. Get completely wedged in, squeaking around trying to squeeze yourself round the bathtub. Water constantly going cold so whichever poor sod is sitting next to it has to try and dodge the hot tap. You've either got your knees wedged up to your chin or someone's feet in your armpits. I don't know how cramming 2 people in a small box of dirty water ever got to be considered romantic.

Also, totally agree with the guitar playing serenading. So bloody awkward, trying to maintain an enthralled facial expression while wondering how bloody long it's going to continue. Unfortunately I kept going for these types when I was younger, it was a bit of a habit and even now, my friends will make sure to point out every long haired man carrying a guitar and ask if I want to marry him.

"Then we did try to rub mud on each other in a sexy way but it was just awful and gritty and the room was too hot and we got mud in places where it’s just unhygienic frankly. We were both very dirty but not in a good way. We washed it all off and left early*

This killed me! So British!

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

omg

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.

Shower sex.

I quite like beach sex though

Properly lol-ed at being whisked... to Doncaster.

Flowers. It's just another thing I have to look after. You have to cut an inch off the stems, remove excess foliage, find a non-dusty vase... then throw them in the compost bin when they go manky. I like the ones that come from the florist in their own wells of water.

Any sex games. Cringe. Just get on with it.

Sex in the shower or other uncomfortable locations or positions. A nice comfy bed with a good amount of bounce please.

Christ, DP and I love all of this. Baths together, holding hands, he buys me flowers regularly, always writing each other soppy cards, always hugging. We don't live together but I think we would be the same if we were not.

Those large padded cards that come in a box - cringe!

Another one for sharing a bath and Paris. Ugh to both.

Disagree about the singing though. My DH once memorised the whole of American Pie (a favourite at the time) and sang it to me acapella. I was well impressed!

I remember a video clip of a wedding where either the bride or groom serenaded the other, during the ceremony. It just seemed to go on and on, and I remember thinking where are you supposed to look, (as the one being serenaded) or how are you supposed to react!

After reading your title, sharing a bath came straight to mind. I can see I'm far from alone haha! Its nothing like they make it out to be in the films is it

Romantic dinners. It's lovely and everything but you're usually so stuffed afterwards all you want to do is go home and sleep, rather than the expected rampant snagging.

Ah, thank god some people are as undemonstrative as me.

Agree with everything you've all said.

Thankfully my husband is as unromantic (normal) as me so I don't get these antics from him

BUT when we want on a 6 week honeymoon around South East Asia we did use the honeymoon card to try to blag upgrades.

It did work but also meant we were subjected to some cringey romance by proxy from hotel staff ... rose petals everywhere, being sung AT in a crowded dining room, being ferried off to the honeymoon table (which was just a table in another room when all the other fun was happening in the main restaurant)

So, we learned our lesson!!

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

That's brilliant

Is Van Haley a car owned by someone from Corrie?
I'll get me coat...

Anything that makes a mess that I'll be expected to clean up later... flowers, food in bed, special dinners that leave the kitchen a bombsite etc Much rather get a pot plant and a takeaway! Oh and expensive gifts that I'll be expected to reciprocate when its their turn (is that mean?).

Sex in “difficult” places - in water, standing up, on a beach, in front of an open fire. No. Beds exist for good, sensible reasons.

Wanting to hold hands a lot. In particular not letting go when it’s clear that the other person has had enough.

I used to go out with someone who would go on about how much he didn’t fancy other women. That was just strange and creepy.

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

I like the food part and the sex part, just not consecutively.

Going out for dinner supposed to be followed by sex at home - if I’ve just had a 3-course meal with a bottle of wine you’ll be lucky if I don’t fall asleep on the bus home and anyway, last time I feel sexy is when stuffed full!