Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed · 29/04/2021 12:30

Sex and/or making a baby. For so many reasons. Cannot be romantic.

ProfessorPootle · 29/04/2021 12:28

I hate all ‘romantic’ stuff, like holding hands, poetry, any declarations of love. I’ve also had someone start playing their guitar to me, so awkward. I only like flowers if they arrange them artfully in a vase for me, too much work otherwise. Also hated mix tapes, had a bf at uni who made me about 50 of the bloody things with obviously all his dodgy taste in music, he even made me one after I dumped him.

viques · 29/04/2021 12:28

@JaneJeffer

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds. Can't stop laughing at this Grin
Mind you, you have to admire the enterprise of someone who persuades other people to part with hard cash for this!
MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 12:28

Can I add dancing together? I don't mean in situations where both people can actually dance, that I imagine is quite enjoyable, but I had one ex whose dancing consisted of gyrating against me like a randy dog.

Brainwave89 · 29/04/2021 12:27

feeding each other. I chose what I wanted to eat, I can feed myself thanks!

fromdownwest · 29/04/2021 12:27

Feeding each other

Nope, just nope

LaceyBetty · 29/04/2021 12:27

Hear hear. I've had more romantic smear tests.

Grin
DinosaurDiana · 29/04/2021 12:26

We did the shower once - never again.
And, when I was younger and slimmer, sex up against the wall - no thanks.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 29/04/2021 12:26

@DinosaurDiana

Fingering by my first boyfriend when I was a teenager. It really did nothing for me.
Hear hear. I've had more romantic smear tests.
theleafandnotthetree · 29/04/2021 12:25

@Pedalpushers

I don't mind baths but showering together is the worst. Someone is always out of the water and cold, it's slippy, I've got water in my eyes, am I supposed to be washing myself? Ugh.

Slow dancing or just dancing together in general. Let my limbs be free!

Not 'romantic' but supposedly passionate - kisses with tongue. So gross.

Yes, are you actually washing yourself - including putting your hand down to give your bits a good old scrub, not to mention your pits and feet - or just pissing around getting wet for nothing. If the former it is far from sexy, if thd latter what's the point when there's a perfectly good bed or floor or chair or wall (see, Im not too square).
BashfulClam · 29/04/2021 12:25

The worst public proposal I witnessed was in Asda. Asda of all fucking places, he asked for it to be announced an the tannoy! You couldn’t get less romantic if you bloody tried. I had an ex who used to say ‘you’re a princess and should be treated like one!’ Aye obviously Princess Diana since he was still shagging his ex!

MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 12:25

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.
Shock I would have rammed that flute somewhere!
HarebrightCedarmoon · 29/04/2021 12:25

Have enjoyed sharing a bath with DH in the past - a long time ago. We had a very large, deep cast iron bath then.

But was just thinking if we tried to share a bath now, at our slightly higher bodyweights and with our average sized bath, one or both of us would get wedged in and we'd probably end up coming through the kitchen ceiling what with the flood that surely would be caused.

Imagine that home insurance claim Grin

GreenEyedMonsterMunch · 29/04/2021 12:25

I am so uncomfortable reading this thread. The cringe factor is so strong in here.

I caught DS singing and playing guitar over a facetime to his gf a few months ago. I almost died. He has Aspergers though so I couldn't burst his bubble and tell him how cringe this was as he had never played in front of her before so it took a lot for him to do that, and she had asked him to do it so I suppose that's not as bad. First relationship, didn't last long. I think I need to have a word with him....

DinosaurDiana · 29/04/2021 12:24

Fingering by my first boyfriend when I was a teenager. It really did nothing for me.

Fernlake · 29/04/2021 12:24

I don't know how cramming 2 people in a small box of dirty water ever got to be considered romantic.

🤣

GenuineViolet · 29/04/2021 12:22

Me too. I even find the couple’s first dance at weddings a bit cringy to be honest

You beat me to it, that was the first thing I thought of. It wasn't a thing when I got married, thank goodness. Have been to a few in recent years and can't understand how they don't want the floor to swallow them up! It's truly cringey.

Fernlake · 29/04/2021 12:21

This thread should be compulsory reading for every man on the planet.

And yes, we absolutely know when you're doing it 'for us', that it's totallyyy for you.

Go downstairs and make me a cup of tea instead, and while you're down there put the dishwasher on and let the dog out.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/04/2021 12:20

Pretty much everything that is meant to be "romantic" I find utterly cringemaking and off-turning.

I'm a pretty prosaic person and don't "get" romance.
The only thing I would possibly like would be a surprise picnic with all my favourite foods - in a place where there were no fecking wasps, ants or other bastard insects. That would be nice. Grin

BlowDryRat · 29/04/2021 12:18

I do like a good joint shower. It's good to laugh at the awkward bits.

mam0918 · 29/04/2021 12:18

@Yorkshireteaalwayswins

I was just about to say sharing a bath! Unless you have a massive tub, its just cramped and uncomfortable Grin
even in a big tub it doesnt work, we tried on our honeymoon and neither where happy.

I was freezing because he kept adding cold and he was complaining he was boiling alive (god only knows how it was about as tepid as a toddlers bath).

MidgeRidge · 29/04/2021 12:18

Oh my word - I’ve never found anyone else like me. I can‘t watch anyone’s first dance! I find it excruciating!
I’m not into the romantic stuff at all. An ex of mine liked to go to posh hotels and stuff but it wasn’t my for me. However, he did once meet me after lectures, holding a polystyrene burger box thing. Thought that was sweet, then I opened it up and there was no burger but a pair of socks with the road runner on them, with the caption “dynamite on the ball” (football) and a pair of little earrings stuck in them (accessorize type, not expensive). To me that was more romantic than any big gesture - I hate football, he was football mad and we’d been playing the night before with another couple - just silly kicking the ball around, but I scored while putting my hair into a ponytail. So it was meaningful, a bit weird and silly.

Allergictoironing · 29/04/2021 12:18

Sex in front of an open fire. One side gets toasted, the other frozen, so you have to keep rotating like a kebab on a skewer to avoid this.

Also with the sex on the beach thing, sand gets everywhere Shock

Giantrooster · 29/04/2021 12:17

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.

I'm surprised he survived.

IhateBoswell · 29/04/2021 12:16

Oh God the running after the train has won, I would honestly want to die of shame sitting down after it had pulled out of the stop 😑😑

Swipe left for the next trending thread