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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
BrownEyedGirl80 · 29/04/2021 14:21

Cuddling in bed.Fuck off to your own side.

ladygindiva · 29/04/2021 14:21

Handholding. I went on a date with a really good looking, clever, funny pleasant guy, so many boxes ticked, so much potential but he held my hand literally the whole time. Even whilst driving. And eating the meal... I kid you not. I cringed myself inside out and never saw him again.

PussGirl · 29/04/2021 14:21

Any sort of gushy social media pronouncements make my toes curl

Throughout 2019 a woman I know was all "can't believe it's just 100 / 50 / 25 / 10 / 3 / 1 days (delete as appropriate) till I'll be Mrs Joe Bloggs

So happy - he's my world, my angel, my cuddly-wumkin kind of stuff

Then an absolutely cringe-making video of their wedding dance which was a choreographed salsa / ballroom thing - they were really good but it went on for a good 20 minutes

Then monthly updates - can't believe I've been Mrs Bloggs for one / two / three / etc months (delete as appropriate)

He's my wuddly-bumpkin precious angel

Then their first anniversary with the video posted again

Just vomtastic

btwwhichonespink · 29/04/2021 14:20

I agree with all of these.

I'll add - gazing lovingly into my eyes.

Makes me feel desperately uncomfortable. I think the guitar concert for one is the same sort of discomfort, but extended for even longer haha.

Also 'snuggling up on the sofa'.

CharityDingle · 29/04/2021 14:20

@deeplyambivalent

Definitely public proposals. My exDP went down on one knee in an expensive restaurant. It became clear later that if I'd said no he would have considered the relationship over. I think he felt as if he was springing a wonderful surprise on me. I just felt like I had a gun to my head. (He retracted the offer when I raised the question of a prenup the next morning).
I always wonder a bit at public proposals. I remember one where a man proposed as the woman just finished a marathon. It featured on the news. It just seemed to me that he was making the moment about him, when it should have been her big moment after all her training and preparation for running the marathon.

There was one also on some of the reality talent shows. Live on stage... What if the person said no!

KurtWilde · 29/04/2021 14:18

No one has ever asked to wash my hair. Thank fuck!! Also massages. No thanks. How to decline politely without sounding like an ungrateful knob is something I've yet to master.

Giggorata · 29/04/2021 14:16

@gelatodipistacchio

Flowers. Thanks, glad I get to carry these around for the rest of the date like a cunt.
I am killing myself laughing at this thread... Agree with practically everything:

Pissing about getting wet for nothing
Looking a dog in the eye when it is shitting
And who was it who likened a neck massage to being carried off in the talons of a vast eagle?
My contribution is those men who want to walk around with their arm draped over you, as if you're dancing the Gay Gordons.

One for the classics, please!

MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 14:16

"Snuggling" on the sofa watchiing netflix or whatever. If I leaned on him I got a crick in my neck, I just want the whole sofa to myself thanks, as well as all of the blanket.

Oh god this. Trying to watch something with their arm around your neck, unless the back of the seat is low enough it just means you're head is at a weird/painful angle.

ladygindiva · 29/04/2021 14:15

being given a massage just really pisses me off . It's just annoying.

Seriouslymole · 29/04/2021 14:14

Sharing a bed. I hate it. Commute for conjugal visits and a chat afterwards and then back to my own bed.

Great thread OP!

isthismylifenow · 29/04/2021 14:11

Speaking of the train, before we got married, I took a trip to see my nan and now ex dropped me off at the station. We had been dating maybe 6 months. I just assumed he would leave when the train did, but no. The train started moving and I was putting my bag up on the luggage rack and I looked out the window to see ex trotting alongside the train. I thought dear god no, I cant wave as everyone on the train will see me, so I pretended I didn't see him there. Then when I had put the bag up, the train was going faster and I looked out, and there he still was, but by this point was running at quite a solid pace, whilst waving and all red in the face. I did a little 'oh you're still there' type of wave and sat down as fast as I could. I have no idea when he stopped running.

The couples massage........ have a drink beforehand, in a hot sweaty hot pool area, can hardly breathe. Get into the floaty pool that is supposed to completely destress you, we ended up going around in circles floating for 30 mins, I was quite stressed as I couldn't float very well, the pillow was blown up too much and I was just getting a sore bloody neck. Then to the actual massage, where no one speaks which is just awkward when its time to turn over and you both just give each other a glance. Then the worst is, that they did an Indian head massage as well, so when I left, I looked like an oily scarecrow! We were supposed to go for dinner after that, but I said no thanks, I just want to go home get in the shower and wash my hair. I really thought the car ride home with going to be like a slip and slide on leather seats.

"Snuggling" on the sofa watchiing netflix or whatever. If I leaned on him I got a crick in my neck, I just want the whole sofa to myself thanks, as well as all of the blanket.

And what is it with balloons lately? Couple go for a meal then the poor woman has to walk around with these damn balloons getting out the restaurant and to the car. Have you ever tried keeping hold of a bunch of balloons in the wind whilst looking grateful....

LadyHedgehog · 29/04/2021 14:10

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Oh the ‘let me wash your hair’ thing! I can’t bear the thought, unless I’d been in a terrible accident and couldn’t do it myself and I had really skanky hair. I think it’s a really odd thing to do for an able-bodied adult!
When I broke my wrist DP had to help me wash my hair and it was not romantic at all.
WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself · 29/04/2021 14:10

“glacial dodgems” Grin

Being sung to is my nightmare.

I completely agree with feathery stroking too, it gives me the rage.

BettysCardigan · 29/04/2021 14:09

@ladymalfoy45

Pet names that infantilise the recipient.
YES! Why people call each other 'baby' is beyond me. And creepy.
Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 14:08

[quote WizardOfAus]Two virgins sharing their first ever kiss on their wedding day.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tkFSAy11n0o[/quote]
🤮🤮🤮🤮 that was awful.

That’s how I ate a Domino’s pizza after low-carbing for six weeks.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 29/04/2021 14:08

the song 'don't wanna close my eyes' the aerosmith one

UGH

What an absolute simp. Just go to fucking sleep and stop being weird

ladymalfoy45 · 29/04/2021 14:07

Pet names that infantilise the recipient.

DinosaurDiana · 29/04/2021 14:07

This whole thread is going to be in the Daily Mail tomorrow 🤣🤣🤣

Amdone123 · 29/04/2021 14:06

@steppemum, awh, that was so lovely. Most of these have made me cry with laughter, but yours brought a lump to my throat.
He's a keeper ❣

Twinkie01 · 29/04/2021 14:05

Rose petals in a bath. WTF! Who is going to fish those fuckers out when the plugs pulled. Ditto leading to the bed and over the bed covers. I've smelt fucking rose petals when the get warm and squished (after making perfume for my Nan in the garden) and they are truly rank!

theleafandnotthetree · 29/04/2021 14:05

Christ Im not the better for that. Ok they were virgins but had they never KISSED anybody before? Or seen any other humans kissing?

poundoflard · 29/04/2021 14:04

Romantic cooked dinner.
Frozen out the bag roasties and frozen Yorkshire puddings. Topped of with a gigantic 3 inch long curly pube on the veg. Like a hairy garnish. Confused

Not his best effort Grin

babbaloushka · 29/04/2021 14:02

Another one for mixtapes, I think it would be passable by my current DH but DD has an admirer who, in 2020, used to give her mixtapes at school. Very wannabe retro, but the irony was she didn't know him that well, so he just used to lurk on her Spotify playlists and choose the songs on there! She doesn't even have a tape player.

VeryQuaintIrene · 29/04/2021 14:02

Public declarations on Facebook.

deeplyambivalent · 29/04/2021 13:59

Definitely public proposals. My exDP went down on one knee in an expensive restaurant. It became clear later that if I'd said no he would have considered the relationship over. I think he felt as if he was springing a wonderful surprise on me. I just felt like I had a gun to my head. (He retracted the offer when I raised the question of a prenup the next morning).