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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
MiriamMargo · 29/04/2021 19:57

calling the other half Babe !!! I hate it and when I hear someone does it proper makes me cringe !!

MutteringDarkly · 29/04/2021 19:40

@BettysCardigan

My friend's husband surprised her with a couples' trip to a sound bath?!

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.

I'd have slid off the bean bag with laughter. Then swiftly divorced him.

It's been a long week but this had me snorting with glee. Thank you GrinGrin
Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 19:39

I HATE the idea of a man proposing just as his girlfriend has accomplished something amazing like a marathon!! Totally takes away from it. My friend did the bike ride from lands end to John o’ groats, raising money as syed lost her dad to cancer and it was something he’d always wanted to do. She spent ages training and gearing up for it, and what does her boyfriend do at the halfway point?! Surprised her by travelling up there to fucking propose. So there’s a load of pics of her looking sweaty and knackered on a bike and him kneeling on the road holding out a ring and grinning like a loon. Twat.

They’re not actually married yet though,

OP posts:
EsmeCrowfoot · 29/04/2021 19:38

@CrazyTitsLiz

Shaving their first initial into your pubes. Especially for the first date.

Learnt that one the hard way.

OMG you are kidding?! Details, we need details! Grin
lachy · 29/04/2021 19:38

@littleburn

Going out for a 'romantic meal' (back when we could). Does anyone feel like having sexy times on a full stomach?
Christ no. If we've been out for dinner and a few drinks DH knows that there won't be any sexy time. All that bouncing about...someone is bound to fart and that's definitely not romantic.
EsmeCrowfoot · 29/04/2021 19:36

@CruCru

Actually anything that is described as “romantic”.

Romantic surprise
Romantic dinner
Romantic walk

The horror

A friend of mine regularly posts on Facebook about romantic walks with her partner and their dogs. I know we're all different, but I don't think I could ever think of something as romantic if it involved the possibility I may have to carry a bag of faeces at some point.
LadyofMisrule · 29/04/2021 19:30

I saw footage of an amazing woman who had been doing an endurance race and beaten all the competition (male and female). An absolutely astonishing performance. And what did her partner do? Proposed as she crossed the line. YOU COULDN'T LET HER HAVE JUST THIS ONE THING, COULD YOU?

CruCru · 29/04/2021 19:20

Actually anything that is described as “romantic”.

Romantic surprise
Romantic dinner
Romantic walk

The horror

Letsgetreadytocrumble · 29/04/2021 19:19

A couples massage. Like, what's the point, you are both face down on separate tables being massaged by different people, you cant talk to each other or anything?

I have never done it (let's just say it's not DH's sort of thing!) but I have never thought it would be romantic.

KurtWilde · 29/04/2021 19:13

I have a friend who is trying his damndest to - in his words - 'melt the heart of the ice Queen..' Which is basically code for he fancies his chances. If that type of ridiculous talk isn't bad enough he calls me m'lady all the time and all I can think of when he does is the Amy Schumer skit. He also says things like 'I wish I could share your bath..' which I mentioned up thread is a major no for me.

In short, he has no chance Grin

Misshapencha0s · 29/04/2021 19:13

Oh and sucking fingers and toes - gross!

Misshapencha0s · 29/04/2021 19:12

A foot massage - gross either giving or receiving!

Firenight · 29/04/2021 19:07

Being touched while I'm asleep. I loathe it and my husband does it. You would think after nearly 20 years he would have got the message.

Synthesiser · 29/04/2021 19:04

Hilarious thread. Should be in Classics

MagicSummer · 29/04/2021 19:00

Why do men think that it's romantic to 'cuddle' you in bed? I hate anyone or anything touching me when I am trying to sleep, and even if you can tolerate it for a few minutes, they inevitably fall asleep and start snoring in your ear!

I can't think of much worse than sharing a bath or shower with your beloved! Surely the point of said bath/shower is to clean yourself - why would you want to wallow in dirty water with anyone else??

Eyevorbig0ne · 29/04/2021 18:58

@BettysCardigan
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Franklyfrost · 29/04/2021 18:56

@Sunson

My ex thought it would be romantic for me to take out his contact lenses for him. Eugh

What? That’s so messed up. What other red flags were there (or did you never find out about the basement)?

CatNamedEaster · 29/04/2021 18:53

My DH committed two of these sins early on in our relationship; a surprise weekend....to Paris Grin.
Unfortunately my period started about an hour before he picked me up from work so I felt shit the whole time we were there but his thoughtfulness was what I loved more than the gesture of the trip: he'd packed two suitcases so that I had practically ALL the clothes I owned with me as he didn't know what I'd want to wear, and even better when we arrived he got them to change our room to a kind of self-catering apartment within the hotel so he could make me tea, toast and hot water bottles to help my period pain all weekend!

SavannahLands · 29/04/2021 18:50

Sex on a Beach, not only does the sand get into the most uncomfortable of places, but the wildlife such as the Seaguls that either crap on you, or insects that bite and sting you in the most delicate of places!
Then there's the local Yobs who turn up.out of nowhere to use the beach and dunes as a motocross track with powerful headlights after dark!

Twattergy · 29/04/2021 18:49

Restaurants. I told DH he must NOT propose to me in a restaurant.

Slow dancing too. Just no.

ladymalfoy45 · 29/04/2021 18:48

Their mouth near my ears.
And then when when kiss over my ear and I’m left with the ringing sound of the after kiss for hours after after.

ItsNotLoveActually · 29/04/2021 18:46

minou123 - just chocked! Pmsl.

KirstyHasLeft · 29/04/2021 18:46

My ex used to call me Pumpkin.............

NellyTimes · 29/04/2021 18:43

My ex whispered in my ear that he wanted to "make love to me all night".

Oh. Please don't. Sounds very boring. A nice quick, hard banging will be just fine.

takingmytimeonmyride · 29/04/2021 18:42

I don't really know what is romantic. I don't like eye contact because I'm autistic so gazing lovingly into each other's eyes isn't going to happen.

Baths together wouldn't work because I'm short and fat and he's tall and we'd be scrunched up uncomfortably in a bath together. Showers also, one of us would get cold.

I usually buy my own flowers, when they're reduced in Tesco, because I feel sorry for them. I wouldn't mind if I got bought them but I wouldn't think it was some big romantic gesture.

I just like being with him. Cuddles are the best, I like holding hands but not for too long. A simple touch of my hand or whatever is wonderful. A message sent during the working day which means he's thinking of me is good.

Anything in front of an audience would be hugely cringey.

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