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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
Ihatefish · 30/04/2021 17:36

@OhWifey

I'll third Paris. Don't get it at all
Yep Paris all the way! It is quite literally a shithole in many places. I actually am struggling to think of any redeeming features Not a patch on Rome.
AzraiL · 30/04/2021 17:35

Oysters are the boogers of the sea.

Localocal · 30/04/2021 17:35

Gifts of sexy lingerie.

Weareallvirgins · 30/04/2021 17:31

I had a ex who liked to sing to me. It was pitiful. I dumped him.

sussexoldspot · 30/04/2021 17:28

@TheVamoosh

Sex that's completely focused on my experience and my pleasure. Like a full body massage followed by oral for hours. If I just wanted to relax and have an orgasm, I would just take a bath and masturbate.
This this this!

"I'm going to pleasure you for hours", oh please fuck off.

Bertiebiscuit · 30/04/2021 17:27

Honeymoon - and no I'm not with him any more

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 30/04/2021 17:27

Rose petals!! Tidy that shit up!! It’s irritating that I’ve cleaned and they go and spread flower petals there thinking it’s romantic 😂

Jammysod · 30/04/2021 17:26

Holding hands across the table in a restaurant.
There is too much stuff on the table, it hurts my arm & it's super awkward when the waiting staff come over.

BluecatSarah · 30/04/2021 17:25

Long stemmed roses airlifted from the Netherlands or Kenya: no scent, apart from that of the plastic they're wrapped in. Especially for Valentines Day. (A rose you've grown yourself, on the other hand

Socialistmisanthropist · 30/04/2021 17:24

God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. Oh my god! All the music bang in about how it's like to most amaaaaazing love song ever.

It's not.

It's a pathetic whine by a bloke I'd steer well clear of...talk about a wet weekend. Get a grip Brian.

ladygindiva · 30/04/2021 17:21

@WWJWD

Omg I am in hysterics at these. Someone I had been on a couple of dates with fancied himself as a bit of an artist and talked me into modelling for a portrait. I sat there for ages not daring to move an inch, half naked and freezing and trying desperately not to scratch myself while he gazed at me with smouldering intensity. Stupidly I hadn't thought to look at any of his work before I agreed. After many hours of discomfort and boredom imagine my delight when proudly showed me his masterpiece. It looked like that Mrs Mangel off Neighbours, only with cross-eyed tits. Cheeky git offered to sell it to me after all that too.
Hilarious. Sorry if this link doesn't work or isn't allowed but this reminds me of this skit I was sent a while back which made me cry with laughter
jillb55 · 30/04/2021 17:20

Lovey-dovey staring. Cringeworthy.

WWJWD · 30/04/2021 16:48

Omg I am in hysterics at these. Someone I had been on a couple of dates with fancied himself as a bit of an artist and talked me into modelling for a portrait. I sat there for ages not daring to move an inch, half naked and freezing and trying desperately not to scratch myself while he gazed at me with smouldering intensity. Stupidly I hadn't thought to look at any of his work before I agreed. After many hours of discomfort and boredom imagine my delight when proudly showed me his masterpiece. It looked like that Mrs Mangel off Neighbours, only with cross-eyed tits.
Cheeky git offered to sell it to me after all that too.

Sunnysideup999 · 30/04/2021 16:24

Paris (urghhh!)
Venice (cramped, stinky, claustrophobic )
Picnics (wasps, hay fever, dodgy rainclouds - nah)
Public proposals (cringe)

SimonJT · 30/04/2021 16:19

@delilahbucket

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world
I agree on Paris.

However we almost exclusively bathe together (more practical) and we cuddle to sleep, I’ll report back in five years when him just breathing gets on my nerves.

SpacemanDad · 30/04/2021 15:53

Valentine's Day.

thenightsky · 30/04/2021 15:17

@FrozenVag

For me releasing a video for our tenth wedding anniversary
Grin
CharityDingle · 30/04/2021 15:09

@CounsellorTroi

Drinking champagne is unlikely to be conducive to sexy times unless you and your partner find each other's burps sexy.
Grin
ScottChegg · 30/04/2021 14:46

@delilahbucket

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world
I get your point about Paris but I think that may be overstating the case slightly. I mean, have you ever BEEN to Wolverhampton?! Grin
delilahbucket · 30/04/2021 14:31

Sharing a bath/shower, just no. Cuddle sleeping, I mean, seriously? Paris is the least romantic city in the world

Zalto · 30/04/2021 14:26

I also wonder where our ideas of romance come from.

The dictionary definition is-

conducive to or characterized by the expression of love

In my marriage, that’s cups of tea in my favourite mug (and hand washing it if it’s in the dishwasher) from my husband, picking up snacks at the supermarket that we know the other would like, checking in on each other if one of us is working late and likely to be a bit stressed.

It’s kind of sad that romance is now marketed as some big expensive gesture.

herecomesthsun · 30/04/2021 14:14

We have had years of Valentines meals with a kid or kids in tow enjoying the special occasion as well.

I rather like it like that (had the kids late in life after several miscarriages, so deeply grateful that we had them at all)

Rosewood017 · 30/04/2021 14:14

Getting sexy underwear as a gift. Always the wrong size - I'm thinking there's a reason they think I'm smaller than I am and that's because I have spent my life procuring flattering undies!

Thongs, just no. Can't get on with black as it just highlights how blindingly pale I am. And while lace bras are pretty, they do nothing to support my boobs that have kept two babies alive.. not to mention my Rolo sized nips.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 30/04/2021 13:52

@CounsellorTroi

Drinking champagne is unlikely to be conducive to sexy times unless you and your partner find each other's burps sexy.
I can speak on this with some authority - having a full reprise of a 3 course meal, eaten by someone else who selected foods that you actively didn't want…[needs an emoticon for beyond nauseating]
TheLODstinkyunderpassAKATits · 30/04/2021 13:49

Yeah I think 9½ weeks had a lot to answer for with the food thing...