Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

Champagne after dinner would normally be a celebration toast. So even more rude to gate crash

If you were my dil, even if I didn't like you I would have offered you what ever we were drinking, that is basic manners in my opinion. Like you op I come from a family where my parents would never treat me or dh differently. And if my sister had been invited for the meal, so would I. I find is bizzare parents treat siblings so differently, buy perhaps I'm just lucky. I wouldn't dream of treating my dc and differently.

Your DH sounds very weak. When you found out earlier in the day that Peter would be there, why didn't he say he wanted to catch up with him and what would be the best time to call in? Why didn't he ask his DF if you could have a drink and why hasn't he spoken to him today to say that he's embarrassed you?

Sorry, but...
The people in this thread just clamouring to prove how much more classy and refined they are then the OP
“What? They drank champagne AFTER dinner, don’t they know it should be drank before??” swoons
Fuck off

Lol this thread is mad! But tbh you're both rude, you and your DH for showing up uninvited (this is not rude where I'm from, but very rude to some in this country as I've learned from mumsnet!) and pils for not being generous hosts.

If you think your parents are much more wonderful than pil then go hang out with them more! Why go where you are not wanted?

Do you chat talk about things that are of general interest or do you steer the conversation to what u are interested? Do you force your opinion on people and refuse to see that other opinions are valid (like you have done repeatedly in this thread).
Do you use vulgar language or profanities?

I’ve no cop on because you misread something and made an arse of yourself

Person to person transmission isn't rocket science. Breaking guidelines creates more points of contact. This should really be on your radar by now.

Zero empathy and zero cop on.

I think that your DH needs to have an honest conversation with his parents & explain how he feels. I understand feeling left out of family events but he needs to tackle the why rather than belligerently gate crashing evenings that he is not invited to. Quite possibly your PILs were embarrassed by your just turning up?

As for your behaviour OP, I think you’re downright rude to give your DH signals to pour you a glass of champagne when it’s clear that FIL didn’t intend to include you. Obviously I don’t know you IRL but your description of your behaviour is so vivid that it’s easy to imagine. And I’m afraid that if you did that in front of me I would politely (& very pass-agg) ask if there was a problem. Of course, FIL is possibly being rude to not offer but perhaps he’s had enough of your entitled behaviour? My FIL could also be somewhat controlling when pouring wine (he always had expensive wine & it was only intended for during the meal...not relaxing with a glass afterwards) but it was his wine, his home, his rules. Also, a bottle of champagne only has a good 4/5 flutes worth. If they only had 1 bottle to share with their friends then they would only have 2 glasses each which seems reasonable enough reason for not sharing.

Just to say a vodka and coke with dinner is not ok. Ever.

Also parking, please don't suggest people are somehow unlikely to get Covid from breaking guidelines. I'm not sure how else you think it spreads but this is grossly unhelpful and inaccurate.

You're really in a great position to be saying that from, parking. Maybe try a little empathy.

Let me guess - they didn’t catch it from breaking “the rules” hmm

So you concede you're chatty even when others are quieter, probably not adapting at all to give quieter folk a turn, you turn up where you know you're unwelcome without caring why not and get offended when you're not treated like an invited guest (very controlling) and you respond with tit for tat unpleasantness/ zero empathy to a poster who has been bereaved.

I can totally see why they didn't invite you.

If you genuinely just popped into say hello then you wouldn’t want or expect to stay for a drink.

You were not invited

OP hasn't done anything wrong. FIL was being a total arse. And this Mumsnet thread has now gone full bitch. You schoolgirls need to grow up and leave OP in peace with her half glass of verve cliquot and battered fanny.

Is your DH the younger sibling? You mentioned in an earlier post about his parents still viewing him as a child. I wonder if due to this they don't view him and by extension you as meriting an adult drink? It also sounds as though they may have kept this special drink until after the BIL and SIL had left. Despite this my parents would not have hesitated to share the bottle though and would have viewed it as bad manners to not do so.

@MiddleParking

It absolutely is okay to order a vodka and coke with your dinner. You can disagree with the OP without pulling stuff out your arse

If you’re the type to order a vodka and coke with dinner I’m not going to bother arguing with you 😂

Your FIL rude. I'm not English so maybe I can't understand why gate crashing is an issue. In my culture family turn up all the time during gatherings and we always make room for one more. This selfish English culture is baffling to me. It's only champagne. It's going to get pissed or shitted out, why make such a big deal of it ?