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Original poster

to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

533 replies

dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 16:35

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

OP posts:
Mysterian · 13/04/2021 14:31

No doubt it's "can I borrow your BBQ?" one week and then "can I borrow your husband for kinky sex things?" the next. And they'll both come back with scratched bodywork and a wheel missing. Don't trust that sort.

Margerine78 · 13/04/2021 14:28

@GlendaPickle

look I am not Kerry Katona type of person or some character from the Royal Family. If I was going to put a bbq on I would get the best food and make a real effort.

If anyone comparisons from the Royal Family it is the OP. Remember the Christmas episode edition when Denise and Dave puts on a Christmas dinner that is the OP. An absolute rubbish spread with cheap and nasty.

Coming on a forum to Walter Mitty to grab attention over lending a bbq is absolutely pathetic. A complete keyboard warrior who wants to look important and have some attention.

Just say no you can’t lend something rather than trying to get your belly tickled and your ego massaged on mumsnet.

Also who arranged a bbq on a throw away number.

Love the snobbery here...it actually shows a total lack of class or manners to run someone down for the food they've made when they've kindly entertained you, and for how much they can or can't spend on said food.

Give me a BBQ at OP's house any day...in fact I'd take a night out wit Kerry Katona over the toxic spill of this message.

frazzledasarock · 13/04/2021 14:26

Gas cylinder barbecues are generally bulky and very expensive.

I wouldn't have lent anyone mine, I don't have any friends rude enough to demand I give them my barbecue, which is what these 'friends' of OP were actually asking, given they have a history of 'borrowing' equipment and never returning it.

I hope you get your other stuff back.

I bet they're minted, what with never buying anything of their own.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/04/2021 14:25

@NotAgain77

Yep but key word there is loaned. Not gifted. The expectation is that it's coming back. Or if not the friends should have the courtesy to reimburse the OP.
But they're not courteous people or a) they'd never ask to borrow stuff like this and b) it would have already been returned or replaced. CFers don't operate on the same page.
Middersweekly · 13/04/2021 14:22

Glenda this specific message board is called AIBU. The OP has asked exactly that question. If you don’t wish to read this type of thread I suggest you look on a different forum.
How would you know what type of spread the OP puts on as it doesn’t appear that you know her personally? Are you making wild assumptions? Have you been down to B&Q to get yourself a BBQ?

Bargebill19 · 13/04/2021 14:19

Fwiw. I’ve done plenty of bbqs on throw away bbqs. No clearing up after was a huge plus. Not that we have anywhere to store a bbq..

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 13/04/2021 14:19

[quote ScaryMimeker]@GlendaPickle Wtf? [/quote]
I'm glad you said it.

I'm totally lost!

OP posts:
ScaryMimeker · 13/04/2021 14:16

@GlendaPickle Wtf?

GlendaPickle · 13/04/2021 14:08

look I am not Kerry Katona type of person or some character from the Royal Family. If I was going to put a bbq on I would get the best food and make a real effort.

If anyone comparisons from the Royal Family it is the OP. Remember the Christmas episode edition when Denise and Dave puts on a Christmas dinner that is the OP. An absolute rubbish spread with cheap and nasty.

Coming on a forum to Walter Mitty to grab attention over lending a bbq is absolutely pathetic. A complete keyboard warrior who wants to look important and have some attention.

Just say no you can’t lend something rather than trying to get your belly tickled and your ego massaged on mumsnet.

Also who arranged a bbq on a throw away number.

Margerine78 · 13/04/2021 14:04

@Pottedpalm

We have a biggish brick built bbq but borrowed a gas one from friends to supplement it for a very big party, to which they were invited, in our garden. We drove over and collected it, big Weber one, and used it without problems. Unfortunately it got damaged. We searched online for replacement part but the model was no longer produced. Friend said it didn’t matter; damage was cosmetic. There was no way I was giving her back a damaged item so we asked them to choose a new one. They had been thinking of updating and were delighted to get a new one. We kept the old, though I really prefer a charcoal one.
This is how you borrow a BBQ and how to be a good friend!
Pottedpalm · 13/04/2021 13:58

We have a biggish brick built bbq but borrowed a gas one from friends to supplement it for a very big party, to which they were invited, in our garden. We drove over and collected it, big Weber one, and used it without problems.
Unfortunately it got damaged. We searched online for replacement part but the model was no longer produced. Friend said it didn’t matter; damage was cosmetic. There was no way I was giving her back a damaged item so we asked them to choose a new one. They had been thinking of updating and were delighted to get a new one. We kept the old, though I really prefer a charcoal one.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/04/2021 13:56

@osbertthesyrianhamster - if they don't return the stuff do you not think they should have to pay for it? Even give some form of monetary contribution to the replacement costs? Really???

All of this is hypothetical though as we don't know if they still have the stuff or not.

NotAgain77 · 13/04/2021 13:55

Yep but key word there is loaned. Not gifted. The expectation is that it's coming back. Or if not the friends should have the courtesy to reimburse the OP.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/04/2021 13:53

Oh, c'mon, you can't give someone an itemised bill and expect them to pay! Get real. That won't stand up in court at all, they willingly loaned the stuff out.

If they don't cough up with the gear that's that.

Mumkins42 · 13/04/2021 13:52

Cheeky as hell. I'd reconsider them as 'friends' if they also then passively aggressively got funny with you in response!

LookItsMeAgain · 13/04/2021 13:48

@dotdashdashdash

DH has actually just gone to collect our other stuff. He's finally seen them for the cheeky fuckers they are.
Oh this could get REALLY interesting when they can't find the stuff (which I'm guessing will happen) and they come up with some excuse or other.

Please have an itemised bill ready for them to see just what they have to replace if this is the case.

KinderWild · 13/04/2021 13:48

Hurray for your DH OP. Hope he manages to get the lot. They should be ashamed.

Middersweekly · 13/04/2021 13:37

Good for you guys @dotdashdashdash
👏🏻

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/04/2021 13:36

@dotdashdashdash

DH has actually just gone to collect our other stuff. He's finally seen them for the cheeky fuckers they are.
OMG, your scuba gear?! Yeah, I'd definitely go get that back but seriously, you loaned that out?! Shock My own sister wouldn't loan me her scuba gear (quite right, I wouldn't want to borrow that from any place but a certified hire place or use my own because eek, that's like borrowing a parachute).

Cookware?! Who borrows cookware?

FFS, I really hope your h gets your stuff back an then honestly, just cut them off.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/04/2021 13:33

[quote Beautiful3]@GlendaPickle

"Yes I don’t see what the problem in lending a bbq. It will cleaned, Op is a drama queen.
I bet she has lent a Henry hoover or something similar before.
What friend posts on a forum."

Transporting a gas bbq is nothing like a henry Hoover! Gas bbq live outside and are rusted underneath. Seriously, you'd want to deal with that in your car?! I would lend most stuff including my old charcoal bbq but not my gas bbq. Why wouldnt you just buy one instead of asking people to lend theirs? That's like asking for their childs garden swing!!![/quote]
Mine doesn't have a speck of rust on it. I come from a country where BBQ/braai is king and saved for ages for my gas BBQ and my smoker. Both are loving cleaned and covered tightly after use. But then, the fuck anyone is going to get me to load them in my car for them to borrow. Grin

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 13/04/2021 13:32

DH has actually just gone to collect our other stuff. He's finally seen them for the cheeky fuckers they are.

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/04/2021 13:22

@Mydietstartstomorrow

Jeez I thought friends helped friends out! If one of my friends asked to borrow my bbq I’d happily loan, and vice versa. Just pleased I’m in my friendship group and not some on here!!
Your friend's OH found the thread, OP! You'd really organise to host not one but two events based around an item of equipment you don't own, then expect your mate to load up their car with their heavy and possibly quite expensive equipment (if, say, the OP has a Weber gas BBQ, those can be in the region of £500) plus canister of fuel (also expensive and VERY heavy), drive it 25-23 mins. to yours, set it up, then drive half an hour back home to pick up the rest of your family that didn't fit with the equipment, drive back over and leave the equipment there (for not just hosting you, but their mates after you're to fuck off and go home), and after they rejected the offer of the alternative BBQ? Then come back when called, driving another hour back and forth, to pick it up? Seriously?

I wouldn't want to be in such a friendship group, tbh. I have a lot of respect for my mates, their time, their money, their stuff. I can't imagine doing this a friend. 'Bring me your stuff, the nice one, leave it here for met to host others, then come when summoned to pick it up.'

Wunderhorse · 13/04/2021 13:21

Clearly not nice people or friends.

HedgePutty · 13/04/2021 13:19

@GlendaPickle whether you are the OPs friend or not, you’re actually just making the OP come across better!
@dotdashdashdash just send a list of everything if you’re they have and say you’ll be there after work today.

Margerine78 · 13/04/2021 13:17

@Sick

Sounds like you need to grow a backbone and learn to say no, OP.
I hate this attitude....why should good generous people be the ones to change and not the cheeky shits who take advantage constantly?