to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

Bring

It sounds like you were only invited to a lunch bbq so you would being the actual bbq for the evening friends. How mad.

SO cheeky!! Hope the cheeky tight gits have seen this thread, and better still, it makes the Daily Mail!!

What did they say when you declined this morning, @dotdashdashdash?

Just say yes, of course - as long as they take the coaly thing in their car and return it, cleaned, afterwards.

Why would anyone organise a barbecue when they don't even have one ??? Cheeky feckers

Did they get huffy with you then?

YANBU how cheeky of them !

No is a complete sentence.

The second BBQ makes me suspect something with more people than the current Covid 19 restrictions, which I don't think you should be enabling in any case.

Many years ago a friend of a friends neighbours popped round for a drink on Christmas Eve. During the course of the evening they asked what time the f of a f was planning on having their Christmas lunch, because they would like , if that was Ok , to borrow their dining table and chairs for their own festive meal..........

On a related matter, I've stopped attending celebrations for friends who:
host the event at their home but
instruct all the food and drink it to be provided by attendees;
tightly control the food and drink to be provided by attendees (must be gluten-free to coeliac standards, vegan, and sugar-free);
insist that only public transport must be used to attend (less than convenient if you're toting food/drink/other provisions).

They also insist that partyware (cloths, napkins) is provided by others and that if it disposable it must be recyclable (at something like 4-10x cost of usual items).

I have genuinely needed to bring along a portable oven before now as neither the oven nor grill works on their cooker and only 2 burners. I should also mention that the fridge is not particularly big so if you're travelling a distance (by public transport - see above) you can end up toting a large fridge box to keep any food chill chain intact.

I once got invited to a BBQ and all invitees were told to bring our own meat, buns, ketchup, even plates.

Totally bizarre!

This reminds me of an acquaintance who invited us to dinner and asked me to bring pudding. Got there and it turned out she’d asked someone else to bring pizzas, someone to bring salad and cutlery, someone to bring snacks and plates. I assumed she’d sort drinks at the very least and we were all offered water

It was brilliant. Everyone did as asked and at the end of the meal she sat back and said she was tired and asked if someone could do the washing up...

The next time she invited anyone to go over she found out quickly that everyone was busy.

Fuck me, that's unbelievably cheeky! The fact they wanted you to leave it so they could have other friends round later

Some people have solid brass balls!

When my eldest son was one we were invited to a bbq at my cousins. My husband had to build the bbq as she hadnt done that (failed to mention this prior to invite) whilst her mates all had a nice relaxing time drinking and chatting. I was chasing my young son around seething as I used to find it stressful and was glad my husband would be there to split the responsibility of caring for our son. Clearly he couldnt as he was busy. She has since proven what a cheeky git she is by getting my husband to cut her hedges etc. Felt like my husband had the piss taken out of him numerous time by her. My husband is a helpful soul and I say to him people take advantage of him.Cheeky gits everywhere.

YANBU. Its possible that I'd have been so shocked by the request I'd have gone along with it in some kind of trance. It's an unbelievable request. I wonder what they were asking the evening guests to bring - half a pig on a spit roast? A fire pit and toasting forks?

On a similar note DP was once asked to bring a TABLE to a party. It was a bit different though as they knew he had a couple of large trestle tables for his business and they did ask him a few days in advance. Neither did they want to use it to give a dinner party for their favoured friends later on.

Bloody hell. This one takes the biscuit. Bet they only invited you for lunch so they could have the bbq available for the evening.

You don’t invite folks for a bbq if you don’t actually have a bbq..😂

The CFs!! And they would definitely not have cleaned it properly afterwards I guarantee! YANBU op!

What did they say when you said no?!

Haha, they should go into comedy 😂😂

Yes, us for lunch, other friends for dinner - I don't see an issue with this really what with the rule of 6/ 2 households thing. We've done similar last weekend.
Are you allowed change households throughout the day if you stick with 6 people each time?
Yanbu saying no.

@Howshouldibehave
2 journies? Whatever. If I wanted to go, and they were good friends and I was looking forward to it, I'd just sort it. I just think life is more fun if stuff like this doesn't bother you.