Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

533 replies

dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 16:35

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

OP posts:
orangegina · 12/04/2021 17:43

This is brilliant! The best CF story I've heard in ages

They could have just gotten down to argos and bought one for under £50 and picked some coal up at the supermarket

TinselTinsel · 12/04/2021 17:39

I have no words!

bemusedmoose · 12/04/2021 17:39

That's not cheeky - it's bloody rude!

Christinayangtwistedsister · 12/04/2021 17:39

People never fail to amaze me!

SavannahBentley · 12/04/2021 17:38

If you don’t have a bbq don’t host a bbq

Stupid people
Not unreasonable at all

Sheila786 · 12/04/2021 17:37

you make me larf.......... i too thought it was going to be bring something for the Barbe or a bottle..........

The real question is have you ever asked for something as spectacular as this......... so they felt at ease in asking......... just saying.....

restingbitchface30 · 12/04/2021 17:36

You are not being unreasonable at all! My friend asked to borrow my bbq and then didn’t even invite me to her bbq! Needless to say she’s not a friend anymore! Some people are just stinkers!

Margerine78 · 12/04/2021 17:34

Dear OP, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable. Posts like this always boil my piss at how some people are such takers in life, and take advantage of the folks like the OP who questions themselves when a request seems off (I do the same, wonder if perhaps it's me). Your 'friends' are rude as.

Shell4429 · 12/04/2021 17:33

@Pr1mr0se

You are not being unreasonable however this is perfectly acceptable in South Africa, the host hosts (provides the location, the bbq, drinks, salads) and the guests bring their own food. The host will even ask close friends to bring pudding. It's not unusual to assume guests will bring their own drinks "bring what you want to drink" and the host just provides the plastic glass!
I don’t think you read the OP properly!
Shell4429 · 12/04/2021 17:31

Speechless at the barefaced cheek!

Bluntness100 · 12/04/2021 17:30

@Pr1mr0se

You are not being unreasonable however this is perfectly acceptable in South Africa, the host hosts (provides the location, the bbq, drinks, salads) and the guests bring their own food. The host will even ask close friends to bring pudding. It's not unusual to assume guests will bring their own drinks "bring what you want to drink" and the host just provides the plastic glass!
This is common here too. However she was asked to bring the bbq, you know the tool used to cook on. That’s not usual here or in South Africa.
godmum56 · 12/04/2021 17:28

I am actually kind of impressed by the mega front shown here. I think I would have been laughing as I said hell no are you crazy

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 12/04/2021 17:26

That’s so bloody weird and rude.

cherish123 · 12/04/2021 17:24

Cheeky. If they had said bring it, fine. But they cannot expect you to leave it for another bbq and fund the gas.
I would reiterate- too heavy and won't fit in the car. Or be assertive and say it's not a mobile bbq. Either they have it at yours or it's a picnic/non-bbw food party.

GingerGurl · 12/04/2021 17:24

You were just for a bit of bbq lunch until tonight when their real friends can come round Wink

Pr1mr0se · 12/04/2021 17:19

You are not being unreasonable however this is perfectly acceptable in South Africa, the host hosts (provides the location, the bbq, drinks, salads) and the guests bring their own food. The host will even ask close friends to bring pudding. It's not unusual to assume guests will bring their own drinks "bring what you want to drink" and the host just provides the plastic glass!

Cissyandflora · 12/04/2021 12:41

This sort of thing makes me so angry. It’s happened to me throughout my life. Not the exact same bbq story but many similar times I’ve been used. I really have my guard up these days. I’m very generous but can’t stand being used and abused. I’m so glad you said no! Well done! And the tractor borrower what a disgrace! Cut these people off. You will find there are plenty of lovely people around that are more deserving of your time.

Justilou1 · 12/04/2021 12:07

@expat101 - I bet he remained unemployed too

Howshouldibehave · 12/04/2021 07:29

We never lent them the tractor or splitter ever again after that

Blimey, I’m not surprised!

Did they ask?

Justilou1 · 12/04/2021 05:16

I can’t believe anyone would think you would fall for this stupid idea.... or even have this idea in the first place, come to think of it. I think if you had any questions buzzing about in your mind about these people before, they’ve been answered now.

VaizyCrazyDaizy · 12/04/2021 02:57

Some people are such users and see nothing wrong with that - ditch them!

AGirlCalledJohnny · 12/04/2021 02:08

@Bananabuddy3

I’ve never considered asking people round for a bbq, purely for the reason that I don’t own one!

If you don’t have a bbq, you cook food in the oven, not ask someone to bring an actual bbq and expect to keep it.

Having said that, someone of FB that I know (though haven’t seen for years) has been asking around if anyone fancies lending them a hot tub for “weekends over the summer” because their “family would love one but they’re so expensive” and “We would only need it on weekends because of work and school”. Not quite sure what they think everyone else does over the week....

Oh my! I’m sure they’re queuing up
ohforarainyday · 12/04/2021 00:35

Where is this weather that is suitable for a BBQ? We woke up to a blanket of snow and it has continued on and off to snow all day. (No more laying though)

It was pretty sunny most of the day in London. Not massively warm (got very chilly later in the afternoon) but no snow. We had a picnic in the park, and there were loads of people wandering around in shorts or having picnics outside.

expat101 · 12/04/2021 00:15

For the life of me, I don't understand how people can think doing this is ok. There are some truly cheeky monkeys out there!

The following is what happened to us... We have a big log splitter, at the time ''' friends'' on the other side of the village would borrow it each year to split their wood as well as our (new) tractor at hay making time.

We usually had to ask for it back, and the last time they had the splitter we found out they had promised to lend it to neighbours who we do not have anything to do with after a run in with the wife. They knew well our feelings there about those people.

Moving forward, the ''male friend'' was working with my hubby one day and decided instead of hand mixing some concrete, he would bring his concrete mixer. When we received his invoice for his labour, on there was a hire fee for the concrete mixer.

We never lent them the tractor or splitter ever again after that. Shortly thereafter the male friend went to work for a client of ours, undercut our prices to get his work and is now unemployed... he turned up on a job site of Hubby's a few weeks back to suss out coming back to work for him again.

Mamanyt · 11/04/2021 23:53

Not only is it cheeky, it's ALL FOUR CHEEKS!