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Original poster

to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

533 replies

dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 16:35

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

OP posts:
GlendaPickle · 12/04/2021 19:00

I think your being selfish. It is not going to cost you anything.

Offer to wheel it around.

ClareBlue · 12/04/2021 19:00

I find it all a bit sad. Most people are generous and will go out of their way to help and support others but then there is a significant cohort of people who take advantage, can not see past their own needs, have a mean and jelous streak and see pissing over people as some kind of achievement in life. Then there are others who just have absolutely no awareness of the impact of their actions on others. They see sensitive and generous people as weak.

Well fuck them, I for one like sensitive and kind people around me and they can all go and have a party together. There will be no food at it anyway because they will of all expected the others to bring it.

purplebunny2012 · 12/04/2021 18:51

@Pr1mr0se

You are not being unreasonable however this is perfectly acceptable in South Africa, the host hosts (provides the location, the bbq, drinks, salads) and the guests bring their own food. The host will even ask close friends to bring pudding. It's not unusual to assume guests will bring their own drinks "bring what you want to drink" and the host just provides the plastic glass!
That's not the same at all! The host doesn't have a BBQ. I've been to BBQs where the guests have all brought the meat, and that's not a problem. But this is beyond!
Wauden · 12/04/2021 18:46

Did they expect you to clean the bbq afterwards? Grin

Myfriendsays · 12/04/2021 18:45

I would go. When I got there I would say sorry but the BBQ wouldnt fit in the car. I would then present them with a disposable BBQ and say will this do.

TheJade · 12/04/2021 18:45

That’s hilarious! Definitely a cheeky fucker scenario! I have some long standing friends who I wouldn’t be offended about this over. However they are exceptionally close. It is pretty out of order 🤣🤣🤣

Howshouldibehave · 12/04/2021 18:39

@purplebunny2012

Well, the reason the PP gave for guests being told to get public transport was posted upthread-I’ll cut and paste-:

Ostensibly, it's a carbon footprint concern that is always included

purplebunny2012 · 12/04/2021 18:34

@Howshouldibehave

insist that only public transport must be used to attend

I have never had a host suggest this! Why would they? Why would anyone really care how you got to/from their house?

I would assume it's because there's nowhere to park more than a couple of cars
artistmaryuk · 12/04/2021 18:31

This reply has been deleted

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Mexico1986 · 12/04/2021 18:28

Unbelievable. They are just using yo

purplebunny2012 · 12/04/2021 18:23

@arethereanyleftatall

Really surprised at the responses. This wouldn't have bothered me whatsoever. It doesn't really matter does it? Put the seats down, pop it in, off you go, and have a nice time.
You clearly have no idea how much gas canisters cost as they wanted to borrow it for a further BBQ
Creativenina · 12/04/2021 18:13

I would ditch them as friends. What a cheek.
Don’t part with your barbecue or your gas bottle. There’s a shortage of gas bottles at the moment so do not part with yours.
If they want to have a barbecue then they should buy their own one.

purplebunny2012 · 12/04/2021 18:09

They are CF to the extreme. YANBU, unless they were going to pay you for the gas and hire of the BBQ

BlossomingTulip · 12/04/2021 18:06

@Margerine78
Dear OP, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable. Posts like this always boil my piss at how some people are such takers in life, and take advantage of the folks like the OP who questions themselves when a request seems off (I do the same, wonder if perhaps it's me). Your 'friends' are rude as.

Exactly this 👆 same thoughts

BlossomingTulip · 12/04/2021 18:01

Omg, no way....may be if it was to be used for them and your family dinner alone I would have been okay with that( although I wouldn't have liked the last minute request) but the fact that they wanted to have it for other guests would have put me off big time. Basically she knew you had a bbq stand, she knew that if she would ask you , you'd say yes.....so she planned to invite other guests relaying on your kindness.
I am actually happy that you didn't go.

iwannafurloughmydp · 12/04/2021 17:59

Find better friends 🤣

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 12/04/2021 17:58

That's weird!

Margerine78 · 12/04/2021 17:52

@butterpuffed

I hope your friends never have a baby shower Shock
Ha ha ha ha
Howshouldibehave · 12/04/2021 17:51

@Pr1mr0se

You are not being unreasonable however this is perfectly acceptable in South Africa, the host hosts (provides the location, the bbq, drinks, salads) and the guests bring their own food. The host will even ask close friends to bring pudding. It's not unusual to assume guests will bring their own drinks "bring what you want to drink" and the host just provides the plastic glass!
I get it when people don’t read subsequent posts the OP has made giving updates but not when people reply without even having read the original post!
midlifeangst · 12/04/2021 17:50

Oh rubbish friends, never see them again

Kljnmw3459 · 12/04/2021 17:49

omg that is funny, they're definitely CFs. no doubt about it.

Yogalola · 12/04/2021 17:47

The cheek of some

orangegina · 12/04/2021 17:45

And it's a bit bloody cold for a barbie anyway

butterpuffed · 12/04/2021 17:44

I hope your friends never have a baby shower Shock

KinderWild · 12/04/2021 17:44

Have they no shame! You are definately not being unreasonable. It's worse that they only asked at the last minute and then thought they had the right to specify which BBQ they'd take. Oh not the charcoal Hmm

No where near as bad but friends of ours used to 'do' big summer BBQs where you were invited and then drip fed that you needed to bring your own food and drink and cook yourselves (taking turns on the BBQ) and they called that a party. It always felt insulting and like a chore to me. You want to have a party you provide food at least and if people want to bring things then that's nice. Bringing a bottle, that's pretty normal.

I am now feeling grateful we didn't have to bring our own disposable BBQs and take away the rubbish.