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Original poster

to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

533 replies

dotdashdashdash · 11/04/2021 16:35

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 12/04/2021 20:16

@Howshouldibehave

the food was fabulous but kitchen looked like a bad day on the Somme. 'Don't worry, I'll send a couple of the lads round in the mroning!'

Did he??!

We're still close friends over 40 years later so, Yes he did!
ConfusedCarrie · 12/04/2021 20:15

I agree with @osbertthesyrianhamster.

GlendaPickle's the CF friend Grin

josbd · 12/04/2021 20:13

Jeezo: Just think, would you do the same? No: They can fuck right off, and buy their own

dancemummy · 12/04/2021 20:08

We were invited to a bbq once and I asked what they’d like me to bring, and they suggested burgers. They then text back and asked to also bring some sausages and chicken. No problem we said. I then thought I’d best check they had rolls, oh no, could we get some of those too. Oh and some salad, oh and they’ve got tea and coffee but if we’d like to get some cold drinks that would be great. My husband and I shopped laughing that we’d basically brought the whole bbq! Then as we were about to leave they called to ask if we had any charcoal for the bbq as they’d had a quick look and didn’t have any!!! (They live within walking distance of a Wickes and B&Q). My kind OH said we’d stop off and get some on the way over. We teased them about it for a few years after, and it’s still a story we tell inn slight disbelief. We don’t really see them as friends anymore as sadly they were like this in all aspects of our friendship. Very one sided. Take care x

Turningthecorner · 12/04/2021 20:05

This reply has been deleted

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WeatherwaxLives · 12/04/2021 20:02

This is brilliant Grin I never understand how people can be so unaware - I have pretty serious social anxiety and second and third guess everything so I'm at completely opposite end of the spectrum.

It's one thing knowing the terms of the invite at the beginning, completely different to spring it on you last minute and get a huff on.

I was once invited to a bbq where we were all asked to bring our own bbqs.
One invited couple don't own one -
they brought a big colander and an oven shelf, it was bloody fantastic, much better than my 'real' bbq. Where there's a wiil, there's a way!

MumsMeaningfulMayhem · 12/04/2021 20:01

My face is literally frozen in this expression Shock and will probably remain that way for a while...

Petlover9 · 12/04/2021 19:59

@FOJN. I was going to write similar; Blackpool front even. Cheeky ar**holes

RLABC · 12/04/2021 19:50

GlendaPickle

Yes I don’t see what the problem in lending a bbq. It will cleaned, Op is a drama queen

I bet she has lent a Henry hoover or something similar before

What friend posts on a forum

Ah,so you're the CF "friend"! What did you do in the end, what with the lack of a barbecue? Wink

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/04/2021 19:39

Yes, I've lent them stuff before. Lots of it they still have. I must get it back actually.

Oh, do this! Well, if it's worth the drive over.

DartmoorDoughnut · 12/04/2021 19:37

Some posters definitely struggle with actually reading the thread hmm]

OP YANBU and I hope you get your other items back from the CFers

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/04/2021 19:37

@GlendaPickle

Yes I don’t see what the problem in lending a bbq. It will cleaned, Op is a drama queen.

I bet she has lent a Henry hoover or something similar before.

What friend posts on a forum.

Your friend's found the thread, OP 😂😂

You don't understand? After she told you it would have cost her at least an extra hour of driving, the gas canister, they refused the offer of the charcoal one, and you think these pisstaking entitled arseholes would clean it 😂😂?

Original poster
dotdashdashdash · 12/04/2021 19:34

@GlendaPickle

Yes I don’t see what the problem in lending a bbq. It will cleaned, Op is a drama queen.

I bet she has lent a Henry hoover or something similar before.

What friend posts on a forum.

Yes, I've lent them stuff before. Lots of it they still have. I must get it back actually.
OP posts:
GlendaPickle · 12/04/2021 19:32

Yes I don’t see what the problem in lending a bbq. It will cleaned, Op is a drama queen.

I bet she has lent a Henry hoover or something similar before.

What friend posts on a forum.

Bertiebiscuit · 12/04/2021 19:30

And you are friends with these grifters because......??????

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/04/2021 19:27

It would be the end of the friendship for me, though. I'd just let it drift away. They may chance their arm again, but once they get it through their thick skulls you won't be used they'll cut you loose if they haven't already.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 12/04/2021 19:24

We used to have a bbq every year for summer-born Dd2’s birthday. We’d have a party in the morning for all her little friends with a bouncy castle hired for the weekend, I’d do all the party food, prep, decorating etc. Then later on in the afternoon we’d have the rest of the family and close friends round for a bbq. We’d supply all the meat etc from our local village butcher, expensive but bloody good. Sometimes people would offer to bring a pudding or drinks. Never ever would I ask or expect. We used to have some brilliant bbqs!

mam0918 · 12/04/2021 19:18

@GlendaPickle

I think your being selfish. It is not going to cost you anything.

Offer to wheel it around.

are you the CF the OP is complaining about?
Howshouldibehave · 12/04/2021 19:17

@GlendaPickle

I think your being selfish. It is not going to cost you anything.

Offer to wheel it around.

Right.

And you read the Op’s post where they said...

it's take kids seats out, put seats down , drive 25 - 30 mins, drive 25 minutes back, put seats back up, put kids seats back in, drive everyone 25 minutes and the do the 50 minute round trip to collect the BBQ tomorrow evening.

?

mam0918 · 12/04/2021 19:17

@dotdashdashdash

Thing is, if they had asked when the BBQ was arranged we would probably have said yes and made an arrangement for them to collect or us to deliver. I was pissed off at the timing of the request and that they expected us to leave it.

It was made worse by us suggesting we bring our charcoal bbq (gas one is only 18 months old and we still have the old one) as we don't mind leaving it but that they needed to source some charcoal - they said no as it was too much hassle.

Before this I would have said we were good friends but their attitude when we said it wasn't really possible without real upheaval (we have 2 kids in rear-facing car seats) they became funny with us.

We ended up not going.

tell them begging cheeky fuckers cant be choosers... I would be pointing them in the direction of one of those £9.99 charcoal ones while also pointing out we where no longer attending.
LeonoraFlorence · 12/04/2021 19:13

We lent our BBQ to friends once when they had a party planned (we were going) but their BBQ wouldn’t switch on that day. It was no problem, DH took it over ahead of time (folded seats down in his car) and friends cleaned it and returned it to us the next day. They also have us (unnecessarily) a lovely bottle of wine and a voucher for a meal out as way of thanks.
Your scenario sounds different though!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 12/04/2021 19:12

What a cheek! And they had the neck to refuse the old one!!!!
Bin them.

Talia99 · 12/04/2021 19:10

@GlendaPickle

I think your being selfish. It is not going to cost you anything.

Offer to wheel it around.

Except the cost of two extra journeys in the car (since the BBQ can’t be transported at the same time as the children and it would have to be collected) plus the cost of the gas for two separate BBQs (one of which the OP isn’t invited to).

It would be cheaper to buy a disposable BBQ but of course, the friends wouldn’t be able to transfer the cost of that to the OP.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/04/2021 19:07

@GlendaPickle

I think your being selfish. It is not going to cost you anything.

Offer to wheel it around.

Would have cost her petrol, time, gas to fuel it, and with people like this, they'll be the first to trash it or leave it a mess and shrug. My BBQ costs over £500. My smoker another £350. The fuck I'd had deliver them to someone to use as and when they please (after they told me to bring it and fuck off) as it would cost me a lot and possibly the entire item if damaged (which I then couldn't claim on my insurance).
osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/04/2021 19:04

@Wauden

Did they expect you to clean the bbq afterwards? Grin
Oh, you know they'd leave it minging, ring the OP and order her to come and collect it ASAP. Pisstakers.