Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Awkward misunderstandings that you had as a child

184 replies

CompleteBarstool · 14/03/2021 18:33

I've just been reminded of the time where I'd overheard the word "bollocking" used and had no idea it wasn't a word a child used....until I saw the look on my Dad's face when 6/7 year old me told him that I'd had to give the cat a bollocking earlier for scratching the furniture.

Any similar stories?

OP posts:
drayday · 14/03/2021 20:26

I thought the word 'loathed meant something similar to 'loved' and had to write a letter of thanks to my auntie and wrote ' i loathe you and I loathe the gift you sent me'

Inclinedtochatter · 14/03/2021 20:26

My mum told us a penis was called a tassel. Imagine my confusion when my grandma couldn't wait to show us her new sofa with tassels along the bottom!

LavenderDiamond · 14/03/2021 20:22

That letters from my french pen pal should not be referred to as french letters.

Me saying "ooh I wonder if there will be a french letter on the mat when we get home" was too much for my mother

Smile
howdidigettobe50something · 14/03/2021 20:20

I was at an aquarium with my dad and sister when I was about 7 or 8 I think. I was looking at some fish and called out to my dad to come over and see these fish with 'lovely long testicles'. My dad and sister just stood in hysterics!

Malin52 · 14/03/2021 19:29

When I asked my mother what 'lesbian' meant aged around 6//7 having heard it referenced on the TV. I saw immediately from her face that this was 'Not A Good Question' and almost instantaneously I worked out myself what it meant.

Malin52 · 14/03/2021 19:25

Went to a neighbours house for New Year's Eve drinks with my parents when I was about 8. We didn't know them very well and I was a shy child.
The man of the house welcomed us in then leaned past me to shut the door. I thought he was going in for a hug and a kiss for some reason so I kissed him on the cheek.
Everyone looked totally taken aback and I was just standing there hoping the ground would open and swallow me up. Awful

Original poster
CompleteBarstool · 14/03/2021 19:14

OMG ..... pussy cheese Grin.

Bet your friends were on the floor!

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 14/03/2021 18:49

Next door's cat used to love Dairylee cheese so it became known as pussy cheese in our house. School dinner hall fell silent as I told my friends what I had on my sandwiches for lunch. I was 13 and it took years to live it down.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 14/03/2021 18:36

I used to ask childless women when they’d be getting a baby or tell them that they must be going to be a mummy soon...usually women I thought would be amazing mums.

I thought that God sent an Angel to give EVERY lady a baby. Like Mary.

As an unhappily childless woman myself now, I really cringe at the pain I must have caused some of my family members who couldn’t have children. I wish someone had set me straight.