Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

@champagnetruffleshuffle haha that's my favourite saying too mummy will always love u but right now,I don't like u very much and they would always say how can u love someone and not like them to which I replied one day u will understand and sire enough as they aged and got to teenage I often heard mum u know I really love u then when I said no it was I hate u u ruin all my fun and that's when I knew,they understood (and were also just being emotionally manipulative little madams) 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. Oh and yes I'm your mum ruining your life is my job get use to it darling child of mine 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

From the next toilet cubicle at a motorway services during the summer holidays:

‘And at what point did you realise you didn’t have your shoes?’

Child somewhere late in the Terrible Twos who had joined a ballet class. After the first lesson:

"And did you have fun and listen nicely to Mrs. X?"
Reply: "No, not really, I got on and did my own thing."

Woman and crying baby on a bus. The mother attempts to breast feed which the baby rejects. Woman says, if you don't want it, I'll give it to that nice man over there (sat opposite on long seats). Cue all eyes swivel to poor man who has turned puce and who jumps up and can't get off the bus fast enough.

Overheard some years ago in the london underground, a mum with i would guess a 4 yo dc, obviously first time on the tube.

mum (to dc): whats wrong X? I thought you were really excited about going on the underground train.
dc: This is the underground?
mum: Yes, we're in it now.
dc: Where are all the worms? And mud?

Once saw a small child flop on the pavement mid-tantrum and their dad muttered 'oh, mate... have some self respect'

Dh said something along these lines at the weekend to ds at the park when he sat down in a strop. Along with "you can't just sit down on the floor when mummy says no"

A friend asking her son "Now did the Lego man have a hat on when you put him in your bottom?"

Can't think of any I've heard, but I heard the muffled sniggers as I was begging to then toddler-aged DC1 "darling, please stop licking the floor".

About a year later, I was paying in a shop and had DC1 lightly pinned between my feet to stop him pulling things off the shelves (he'd been ignoring me all morning) when we had the following exchange:

DC1: "I don't like you, Mummy!"
Me: "If I'm being honest, I'm not massively fond of you right now, kid"

The teenage cashier looked utterly horrified and I realised how that sounded out loud

My Dad used to have loads
Take a long walk off a short pier
Go and play tag with the cars on the motorway
Shut the door - were you born in a barn
Turn the light off - do you think this is Blackpool illuminations
Leave me alone I'm having a wallet attack (anytime any of us wanted to buy anything at all).

I just remembered one from a family member, went with her to get her little lads first ever uniform, he was bouncing off the walls with excitement, fitting done and he was still excited when we said it was home time. His little face fell and he said “but mummy we didn’t get my unicorn?”.

Saddest moment of realisation ever!

Me several times a day
‘Is that -insert current DCs favourite comedy show- quote really relevant to the situation or the conversation’

Dc ‘no but it’s still funny’

Teenagers are a pain

When my DS was 2 we lived in a flat where there was a gap underneath the front door so we used a heavy curtain to stop the draught coming in. When my DH came home from work one day he forgot to close curtain so I said “close the curtain over the front door as there is an awful draught coming up the stairs “ a few minutes later I found my son pulling back the curtain and looking out through the gap at the bottom of door. I asked him what was he doing and he said “he was looking for the awful giraffe coming up the stairs!” 😂

overheard in the queue of M&S ladies toilets on a busy Saturday (pre-covid)......little girl in cubicle with her mum "Mummy, why don't you wear nice knickers, like ones with flowers on?"

My older child needed an x-ray. He was being a "toe rag". My mother walked in to hear me saying,
"Xxxxx, if you don't behave, you can't have your x-ray"

I once heard myself say to DD (who had a lot of food issues)
You can have the rest of the broccoli if you just eat 1 chicken nugget for me.

I remember being in a cubicle in a mixed changing room at the swimming pool. The man in the next cubicle was helping his daughter get changed and naming parts of her body; I think it started with something like “Take your arms out of your top, oh what big arms you have, they’re almost as big as mine”, “Put your feet into your bathing suit, oh what big feet you have, they’re almost as big as mine”.

I went into the pool and they appeared hand-in-hand five minutes later at which point she proudly announced to the entire pool “My daddy’s got a big willy”

Overhead in Leeds Ikea cafe several years ago:
Mum (transatlantic accent): Don’t eat the cheese!!!! This is the UK, it has dairy in it.

@imaluckdrago I've said that on a plane, had to make an emergency landing but knew we were all together . Not dramatic in any way just a fault that involved us having to go to an airport far from where we should have and switching planes

@scaredsadandstuck

I know I've said "xxxxxx, please stop wrapping your penis around the pencil"

And did the policeman stop?

A friend. Her ds asked repeatedly if he was her favourite. He has an older db.
Eventually she says. You're my favourite 7 year old.
He's delighted, older db laughs because he understands.

Me repeatedly to dd, about 5, when on buses and trains.
Please don't lick the windows.