Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

When my son was about 5 and really cross with me about something he would tell me I wasn't coming to his party. Then he would start to calm down and say (still sulking a bit) "ok mummy, you can come to my party, but you are NOT getting a party bag". No idea where he thought parties and party bags were going to appear from if he cut me out of the deal

I still cringe over the looks I got when I half shouted "You can't have salad until you've eaten your pizza!"

Said child had had loads of free salad from the salad bar but was refusing to eat expensive pizza! 😂

@Thatwentbadly
It’s very middle class to say pardon, working and upper classes say what. You would never find Princes Charles saying pardon. Neither way is right. It’s just different.

I grew up on a council estate - working class family and I am in that ‘working class’ bracket too
I was raised that it was rude to say what when called -
I did say it made me chuckle - didn’t say I’d judged her for it!

"No Quentin, you're not Tigger. And anyway, Tigger boings on his tail, not his penis"

In a vets I used to work in, I once overheard a woman tell her daughter that the teats for feeding lambs were condoms for sheep.

@CheltenhamLady brilliant!

We were on a pet shop once that had some animals in it, there was a make miniature horse, who got excited.

DS2 shouted at the top of his voice, mummy look at that horses Willy, it's even bigger than daddy's!

The whole shop fell about laughing 😂.

DS was 5 and the old gent across the road exited his car. He had the most bowed legs you have ever seen.

We exchanged pleasantries and I asked how he was, he said he was fine but needed some new legs. Cue DS shouting breezily 'perhaps you will be luckier next time and get some nice straight ones'. Mortified.

Nowhere near as funny but DH and I were in Central Park during some snow pre DC and one very exasperated dad pleaded with his DS to 'give me a break'. He looked like he was used to the nanny dealing with this type of thing and he was finding it stressful. Really tickled us and we still say 'give me a break' in a knowing way when a DC is being a PITA.

On of mine muddles up 'it doesn't matter' and 'don't mind'.

Result? In public, often 'its OK mummy, I don't matter'!!

On a work video call, hearing a colleague turn off camera and say calmly “no, you don’t need to take all your clothes off to do a poo, just go to the toilet please”

It's a dictatorship not a democracy.

Overheard in Tesco:

Small child sitting in trolley: "I really don't like shopping for tea mummy. Why can't we forage instead?"

One mine was a later talker and sometimes mixed up things like "I don't mind and I like"

I turned round and caught the side of her face with my bag.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to hit you."
"It's all right mummy. I like it when you hit me."

“No darling, this is wine not Prosecco. Prosecco has bubbles” said to a kid who was about 2.5

Whats for tea mam?
Shit on a stick sweetie id reply.
Hes 27 now and i still say it if he calls for a feed.

Little girl to grandad, why do we have Christmas in winter why not in the summer.
Grandad to little girl, oh I dont know.
Me, Jesus christ!

I used to live in Devon in a popular area for crabbing and the wealthy. You drop a tiny net in the water with bacon in it and pull it up loads of crabs attached simple. One day whilst walking up the pontoon that was full of family’s crabbing I heard ... “ you are right Piers, the crabs do prefer the Waitrose maple smoked bacon”

My sister
I'm always in the shit, it's just the depth that varies
My friend
She had a face like a back alley moggy

"If you were 30 or 40 I'd say ok, but you're not, you're 3 and a half."

When u sleep past 8am and your mum says in a sarcastic tone

"oh so you get up a bit every day then?"
Or alternatively in the same situation
"the dead have arisen!"

Actually said by me....in relation to something the cat triumphantly presented to us.

Me: I am sorry boys, its definitely dead.

Boys [Sobbing noisily]: Please mum! Please! Can we ring the vets? Please try and save it. There must be something you can do...... [big ploppy tears and snot bubbles]

Me: Look lads, its go no head, there is no coming back from this situation....

... I then went on to make things so much worse by deciding for some utterly stupid reason to explain death to them and how flowers die, animals die, even people die.... they cried all night because "Mum told us she was going to die"

This thread should be in classics