Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

DD1 was in reception and was having a friend over for tea after school on Election Day. I told them both that we would go & vote before we went home. I picked them up and they were both really excited about “going voting”, I was feeling fabulous because I’d clearly installed a sense of democracy in, not only my 5 year old, but her friend as well. We got to the polling station, I voted, we all got a sticker & head home. Both children are giddy with excitement, I am smug and full of self importance:
DD “where is it?”
Me “where’s what?”
DD “the boat”
Me”what boat?”
DD “THE boat. You said we were going boating. Where is it?”
That was quite a big fall from my high horse!

We live very close to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, which has fabulous permanent and visiting exhibits. My dc have grown up running around the park, and have a precocious appreciation of modern art. When DS was 4, we had the following conversation.

Nursery nurse: Good morning Bike’sDS, fix you have a good week end?
DS: We went to the Sculpture Park yesterday
NN: was it fun?
DS: There’s new sculptures. I think I preferred the Shonibare to the Miro.

@VoluptuaSneezelips parenting at it's best right there!! How lovely 😀

Overheard in a park.
Kid about 5-6 years old: 'Mum why do the trees have numbers on them.'
Mum: 'Well they like to get up and go for walks in the night so the gardeners put those tags on them so they can check in the morning that they all came back safe.'

Overheard in Tesco carpark.
Small child 2/3yo being held by parent, SCREAMING and in full on 'starfish' position..
Mum: Will you chill out! I'm trying to put you in a trolly not rip your arms and legs off!

At a friends.
5yo with non stop verbal commentary about everything from her shoe size to describing her ideal imaginary pet. Dad jumps up from sofa and starts singing her around, tickles her, turns her upside down. Hes looking behind her ears, between her toes, in her hair... While she's laughing hysterically. 7yo DS comes in
DS: What are you doing to L?
Dad: Looking for her pause button!

I was visiting my brother and his 4 year old was in the garden. He came in and asked if tea was ready. My brother said know
My nephew replied “oh for fucks sake” in an exasperated voice and went back out to play.

I agreed totally with the sentiment!

(But had the horrors about what might be coming out at nursery...... )

:o:o

Well to be fair to her, he was a fucking cunt!

I had words with DH when we got home....

From an impeccably dressed mother to her grown up, equally polished daughter while browsing small-batch artisan goods: What’s a manly candle? Does it smell of sweat?

We were having dinner as a family in a diner where there was a grabber machine with various soft toys. There were the usual plush animals but there were also half a dozen or so beavers. Each of these beavers clutched a purse with the words "Tight Beaver" on it.

The diner was busy. We were part of a large party, our kids were the only ones there. There was another largish party of youngish adults. The men in the other party were most amused by the "Tight Beaver" and were competing with each other to be the first to grab one. They were grabbing lots of other random toys which they were passing on to my kids who were having a wonderful time.

There would have been a dozen or so of them gathered round the machine cheering each other on as they tried to grab a beaver. My youngest, would would have been about 4, came back and, in a really piercing voice asked "Mummy - why do all those men want to grab a tight beaver?"

Just remembered one from DD (now 19, then about 4) and I have posted it before.

Driving to the supermarket and got horribly cut up to the point of almost having a nasty accident, at a roundabout. I let go an interesting sentence referring to the parentage and personal hobby of the offending driver. Silence from the back of the car for a few minutes and then...

"Mummy......whats a wanker?"

cue me nearly crashing the car again :o

Slightly worries me now I think about it that she didnt ask what a fucking bastard was :o

@Clawdy yours wins😂

This has made me snigger and choke during a very boring meeting that is currently happening in my office...i'm not part of the meeting and should be working but mumsnet is much more fun.

One I have from when my son was 3, I was in a department store trying on jeans. I was wearing a thong but of course he didn't know that and said in the loudest voice "gasp...mum why are you not wearing any pants eughhhh". I should mention the changing room was full and had a queue of people waiting to go in, so you can imagine how many people laughed. Whilst laughing myself I told him I did have pants on just my pants didn't look like his. I waited what seemed like ages in the changing room and when I left I saw the girl that worked the changing rooms and she thanked my son for making her day. My son was delighted and smiled all the way out the store.

From the back of the car when my boys were small.

DS1 (4): Mummy, DS2 doesn't buzz does he?
Me: No
DS1: Then why do you call him a little bee?

That reminds me of my third birthday. We met my aunt & grandfather for lunch & my aunt said she had a frog for me in the car and that I'd get it when we went down to the beach. I was so exited, not knowing if it was real or a toy one. Never was a 3yr old girl more disappointed, my frog was a "frock" a candy striped dress with a bow at the waist.. devastated

I was walking the same supermarket route as a lady with three children. On who looked about 18 months in the trolley, and the others were probably about 3 and 5.

After several repetitions of "no darling, we look with our eyes, not our fingers" (in different aisles), it became "eyes, not fingers!" and by the end, as she said "X, I said we look with our eyes..." the baby piped up "not fingers!" from the trolley. (Well, more like nof-ingahs, but it was the matching intonation that made me laugh)

I don't know how many times you have to repeat something for a baby to mimic it, but she'd hit that over the course of the shopping!

Please stop eating the onions they are not apples

@Nanalisa60 haha yes that was popular in our house too "yeah cos she's your favourite" from dd2 about dd1 when she couldn't have her own way about something. Absolutely not true dd2 mummy actually isn't a big fan of either of u if I'm honest 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

A few years ago I was having a pub lunch and a boy of about 3 was playing with his car on the floor. He bumped into the leg of the chair and said get out of the bloody way, to which his father replied what have I
fking told you about fking swearing.

@ECPCR2 followed by, in our case- then please don't put it back in your mouth! Routinely in our bathroom. @Backtoreality1 thank you these have made me laugh!

This thread made me weep with laughter last night (it was the Yellow Submarine that got me) and I have just nominated it for Classics.... please Mumsnet, please please please?

DS1 says 'Oh i want to buy this book!'
Me- But I got you that for Christmas!'
DS- I thought Santa got me that for Christmas
Me... yeah......... but I e-mailed him.

At a christening party... the person sitting next to me said quietly, ‘does that child come with a remote, if so please push the mute button’.

Brother on bus with kids, son says dad! Hasn't that man got a big nose.
At a level everyone could hear.