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Original poster

I just spent the night nursing a cushion tassel thinking it was a baby hedgehog

212 replies

PhoenixIsFlying · 27/02/2021 14:56

Ok so my back is currently in spasm so am blaming my high strength painkillers for being such an idiot. Last night after letting the dogs out for a wee they became incredibly excited and it was because there was a hedgehog outside. I quickly got the dogs in and the hedgehog went on it's merry way. I was in the living room watching lots of episodes of Doc Martin (my new fav programme). I looked down and saw a small white soft spiky thing. I picked it up and panicked it was the shape of a baby hedgehog but white. I googled baby hedgehogs it looked the same. I was awake until 3 am cradling and keeping warm a cushion tassel. Googling and learning all about how to care for a baby hedgehog. FFS what a moron 🤣 I only realised this morning in the daylight what it was.

OP posts:

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Mmmmdanone · 27/02/2021 18:21

I once saw the neighbors cat at the bottom of my garden, all curled up. It was early morning and I wasn't dressed so didn't check. Later on I noticed it was still there, I thought it was obviously dead. I had put weed killer on the gravel the day before and was panicking that I'd killed it. I had a man round measuring for double glazing so I said to him "I think that's the neighbors cat in my garden and it's dead, hasn't moved for 2 hours". So we both gazed mournfully at the poor dead cat.
After he'd gone I went out to check on it, wondering how I was going to break it to the neighbours.
Turned out to be a mangled children's stuffed toy in exactly the same colour as the neighbour's cat😂😂😂

RickOShay · 27/02/2021 18:19

I think that that is perhaps the loveliest thing I’ve ever heard.
People like you make the world a better place @PhoenixIsFlying

WestendVBroadway · 27/02/2021 18:18

@PhoenixIsFlying, You are not alone in nursing fake hedgehogs. This may be outing as I have told this story irl several times. Many years ago I was a community carer, visiting clients in their own homes. One morning a lady told me how she had rescued a baby hedgehog the previous night, she had left it in a warm place with a saucer of milk and some cat food. She was worried as it hadn't eaten , or indeed moved all night. I looked at it and immediately recognised what it really was. Being the caring person I was 😀 , I did not want to embarrass her by directly explaining it's true origin, so gently said how lovely her hedgehog was with it's ability to camouflage itself like a piece of moss,( yes reader, that is what it was)and I would put it back in the garden for the mother hedgehog to find.

harriethoyle · 27/02/2021 18:16

@PhoenixIsFlying OP I really hope you feel better soon - but I've been glum all day and this has made me roar with laughter. Thank you! And get well soon

TheNoodlesIncident · 27/02/2021 18:11

I remember a friend made her BF stop their car to remove a sadly flattened hedgehog off the road. She was weeping with emotion and insisting it be placed by the side of the road, even though it would be plainly deceased, just out of respect. BF dutifully stopped car and trudged out to bestow poor old hedgehog to its final resting place.

The deceased was a flat cap.

WorraLiberty · 27/02/2021 18:05

@boredinthouse

Have you ever seen a hedgehog before OP?

I was wondering this and even googled 'white baby hedgehogs'. They look nothing like the OP's photo and surely after picking it up the weight difference alone would make it obvious.

But it is what it is and most people seem to find this hilarious, so it's not like it matters 🤷‍♀️

LulaMay17 · 27/02/2021 18:03

As someone that gets crazy on the smallest amount of painkillers...you are my kind of person!!

Bicnod · 27/02/2021 18:03

WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead · 27/02/2021 18:02

I can't remember the last time I actually cried laughing, but the tassel, followed by the sheep shit, followed by the cow pat did it. Couldn't even get the words "cow pat" out when I was reading it to DH.

boredinthouse · 27/02/2021 18:02

Have you ever seen a hedgehog before OP?

justletmeadoreyou · 27/02/2021 17:57

This is the best thing that I have ever read on mumsnet

WagnersFourthSymphony · 27/02/2021 17:55

Instant classic for the thread title alone.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/02/2021 17:54

That is hilarious, @Lalliella - thank you!

rainbowdashsneeze · 27/02/2021 17:54

Funniest thing I've read all year 😂😂

AlwaysLatte · 27/02/2021 17:53

@Knittedfairies that's what I meant 😂

zzizzer · 27/02/2021 17:52

Bless you OP.

At least that little tassel got to feel all loved and special last night

Yumyumdindins · 27/02/2021 17:50

@AnitaB888

That reminds me of my mother. Many, many years ago she told me she saw what looked like a hedgehog in the garden in the snow and felt sorry for it. So she put out a saucer of warm milk (quite wrong for hedgehogs I know) and was very surprised in the morning when she saw the milk was untouched and the hedgehog still there. So she put on wellies to go and investigate and found she's been offering milk to the yard brush that had fallen down.

I’m sorry but this has just finished me off! Hilarious 😂

CharlieSays13 · 27/02/2021 17:48

This is brilliant, and totally believable. I once seen a huge spider on the cream carpet during a 2am run to the toilet. Grabbed a glass and put it over said spider. Found out in the morning I had incarcerated a top off a beef tomato 🙈

Soubriquet · 27/02/2021 17:45

dear.....

For future reference this is what baby hoglets look like

Two boys I hand reared. One had to be pts as it was badly injured but the remaining boy lived and was released back in the wild

I just spent the night nursing a cushion tassel thinking it was a baby hedgehog

MistakenAgain · 27/02/2021 17:42

Absolutely brilliant op 😂

Painkillers do wierd things!

Lalliella · 27/02/2021 17:38

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Someone thought this was an escaped leopard - turned out someone’s dressing gown fell off whilst she was doing the school run!

Story here

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius there’s an even better mistaken identity story just one click from your link: www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/10/09/funniest-case-mistaken-identity-youll-see-week/

LIamaDelRey · 27/02/2021 17:35

And there I was, having remembered the ''being so sleep-deprived I was breastfeeding the duvet'' poster, thinking you were breastfeeding a cushion when I suddenly thought - hang on, why would she be breastfeeding a hedgehog?! Not just you, OP.
I can see bugger all without my glasses on and it's become a long-standing joke in our house whenever I do something dumb. Did you have your glasses on?
Your Mum touching a rando as she was checking if they were real or not, however, is an absolute belter.

gamerchick · 27/02/2021 17:34

Bless you OP but that made me laugh

SingleHandSue · 27/02/2021 17:33

Love your baby hedgie 🦔

I’ve told this story on here before but a few years ago I was walking home from the school run and saw a cat hanging from a tree. It was twisting and turning trying to free itself.

I ran as fast as I could to the tree hoping I’d be able to reach it to rescue it, then slowed right down when I realised it was a load of tissue paper caught in the wind

FurrySlipperBoots · 27/02/2021 17:31

This is the loveliest OP I have ever read! If more people could have a heart like yours PhonixIsFlying, the world would be a better place!!

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