Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

665 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:21

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines?

I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily.

I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’

Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off.

Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went.

I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party Confused

What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot.

Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Wondermule · 27/02/2021 10:54

www.cathycassidy.com/about-cathy/

Found her! Turns out she is quite an accomplished author, and is now only about 60. So she must’ve been 40s back then but I remember her as being ancient Blush

Wondermule · 27/02/2021 10:52

Phew, she does exist Grin

GirlLovesWorld · 27/02/2021 10:52

It was not a very nice place to work. Hugely cliquey, men paid far more than the women. When I left (because I was miserable) they told me they'd make sure I never worked again in our town ConfusedGrin

SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:51

No I remember Cathy!!! She had dark curly hair and a lime green silk shirt and a stern but kindly expression!

OP posts:
Wondermule · 27/02/2021 10:50

Does anyone remember agony aunt Cathy?! Or did I dream her up?

SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:50

@GirlLovesWorld that’s amazing!!! Please tell us more!!

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:49

And having a spot was the worse thing ever and IF you hadn’t prevented said spot then you better go to great lengths to cover it up or your ‘crush’ might see and fancy your friend instead Hmm

I unfortunately lapped all this up until I was about 15. The only thing I think I was sceptical about was the ‘True Life Stories’ which I suspect were written by people who worked at the magazine. Always a cautionary tale about getting into a car with an older boy who was a joyrider and the poor girl in the story ended up losing a leg or something awful!

OP posts:
GirlLovesWorld · 27/02/2021 10:48

I worked for the company that wrote Shout!

It was mostly staffed by school leavers earning - well, my salary was £8788. I remember that vividly!

FlippinNoah · 27/02/2021 10:48

I remember feeling a right rebel by reading 'Just 17' when I was 15 🤣

MidSummersNightmare · 27/02/2021 10:45

I was a teenager in the 90s. One particular article I remember was about how to look good when sunbathing on the beach. Their top tip was to dig a recess in the sand to put your bum and thighs in so the fat doesn’t get squashed out to the sides and therefore you look thinner.

BrumBoo · 27/02/2021 10:43

Oh yes, my mother used to buy me Shout and Mizz in a desperate attempt to make me 'girl' better. My face was usually Confused reading them, though I did enjoy the 'glitter hair mascara' stage. I can even remember the smell of the stuff, like varnish mixed with petrol. Probably just as flammable Grin.

StudentProblems · 27/02/2021 10:40

The clear lipgloss was the best bit Grin

SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:31

Yes!! The awful cringe pages! As if the boy you fancied seeing you had tampons in your bag meant you should run away to a nunnery and never be seen in public again!!

I did like the clear lipgloss though.

OP posts:
Wondermule · 27/02/2021 10:26

Yes I remember 😂😂 my Saturday morning consisted of a trip to the shop with £5 for Mizz, Shout, a Mars bar and whatever my mum asked me to pick up.

The ‘CRINGE’ page usually consisted of readers accidentally showing people their sanitary towels, or sneezing while walking past their ‘crush’ in the street.

You’re right, they were just manuals on how to get boys to notice you! (With a free clear lip gloss of course)

Dozer · 27/02/2021 10:24

Grin Love your story, OP!

I remember one article in the late 90s that had a RL teen and critiqued her face/physique and gave style and make up tips ‘so he’ll notice your smile, not your pear shape’!

The same mag recommended a pale pink / brown eyeshadow colour combo as ‘romantic’, I attempted that a lot for a while.