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Original poster

Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

665 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 10:21

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines?

I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily.

I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’

Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off.

Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went.

I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party Confused

What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot.

Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
KnitFastDieWarm · 27/02/2021 15:48

Ooh i remember diary of a crush!
all boys were ‘lads’
clear mascara was the answer to everything makeup dilemma
i got a pair of free silver sandals (actual sandals!) with j17 once, that was my summer look from about 2001-2002 Grin

Mockolate · 27/02/2021 15:47

@ExhaustedGrinch
I also enjoyed More but I was too nervous to buy it because I was quite young, so after leaving the shop one day I asked my older friend who I was with to go back in and get me More ... she came back out with more crisps, I should have been more specific!

Brilliant Grin

FlorenceOfBelgravia · 27/02/2021 15:46

Yes, diary of a crush where she got a new boyfriend who was horrible, who had an also horrible stepsister and they were clearly based on the SMG and RP characters in Cruel Intentions! The boy did something horrible but it was all ok as Edie ended up back together with dreamy Dylan we a result.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 27/02/2021 15:46

I remember one that had an agony aunt and an agony uncle. A boy wrote to the uncle because he had had a row with his girlfriend and pushed her over, and she had dumped him. He wanted to know how to get her back. The uncle, who was a young man, told him he deserved to lose her and ic he didn't learn to treat women with respect and without violence, and control himself, he would find himself a lonely old man. At the time I thought it was very harsh (with my own father's violence being normalised at home and blamed on me) but now I think how brilliant he was, and I wish I had taken it more to heart.

Lovingcup · 27/02/2021 15:45

@SmidgenofaPigeon it was Diary of a Crush, I’ve just found it! Thank you Smile

justamummydoingherbest · 27/02/2021 15:44

One article I remember was 'how to pull a toff on your hols' Grinand also 'how to get away with make up at school'

justamummydoingherbest · 27/02/2021 15:43

I used to read sugar magazine and also an Irish teen magazine called kiss. Kissing tips, walking in heels tips, first time sex advice. Really makes me cringe now.

Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 15:42

Yep Dylan. Then she had a thing with someone called Carter but he was horrible.

OP posts:
Mockolate · 27/02/2021 15:42

Aw man, love this thread Grin #nostalgia
I don't have any stories but yes, some of the advice was daft lol.
Although I mainly read Just Seventeen, Hi! and Blue Jeans

Lovingcup · 27/02/2021 15:41

@Baboutheocelot yes! Was he called Dylan? I remember the Paris story, I think that was in one of the books.

Original poster
SmidgenofaPigeon · 27/02/2021 15:41

@Baboutheocelot that’s Diary of a Crush isn’t it? Sarah Manning or something like that.

OP posts:
spaceghetto · 27/02/2021 15:40

I remember one about a girl with a snotty nose who tried to put a tampon up her nose so her crush wouldnt be grossed out 🤣

Baboutheocelot · 27/02/2021 15:40

I remember the stories with Edie, it was in just 17. They went to Paris and something awful happened with the guy she liked. What was his name? They were all cool art students.

smalalalalalala · 27/02/2021 15:39

I remembered one of them recently. One of those 'real story'
It was about a sister and brother falling in love and having sex, but all was okay in the end because they were adopted (parents hadn't told them)
How none of those adults stopped it makes me wonder how bad were the stories that didn't get published

This was in France, and incest have been really much in the media since the beginning of the year, they call it 'metooincest', so I hope today it wouldn't happen

Other that this particular story, the general vibe was the same: being slim, hairless and docile for those men

Lovingcup · 27/02/2021 15:38

Can anyone remember in one of the ‘90s or possibly early 2000s mags there was a serial of stories that carried on each week, and they published some full-length books to carry them on? I can’t remember what it was called but I remember the main character was Edie and her friends were Mya, Nat and Trent (I think Nat and Trent might have been a gay couple). I’d love to find it again but I can’t seem to find anything if I search.

God I loved those mags. When we were about 12, my friend and I used to make up problems for the problem pages and try and get them published - I remember one about getting a tampon stuck and all the ‘hilarious’ ways we’d tried to get it out. In reality, we’d probably never even seen a tampon at that age 🙄

MeowPurrGrr · 27/02/2021 15:32

@Coldwinterahead1

God it was set madGrin
I was allowed to have a magazine delivered and my mum let me change from Look In to More, my dad hit the roof when it came through the letter box! I was furious that I was banned from having it but thinking back I would’ve been around 13/14 and it was plastered with ‘position of the fortnight’ and ‘best sex tips’ all over it and not to mention those soft porn books you’d get in the summer (for beach reading)!!
peachgreen · 27/02/2021 15:29

I was OBSESSED with Diary of a Crush which started in J17. Dylan was my dream boy and I wanted to be Edie, with her blunt fringe and her glittery eye-shadow, SO MUCH.

MeowPurrGrr · 27/02/2021 15:24

Ahh the quizzes! I’d always do these and hated when I came out ‘skanky’ instead of ‘sassy’ Shock

CroutonsAvatar · 27/02/2021 15:23

Omg! Yes! I remember putting perfume on the backs of my knees! It must of been because of a ‘tip’ from one of the teen girl bibles.

MeowPurrGrr · 27/02/2021 15:21

Oh god I was obsessed with these magazines! I was a teen using the 90’s so read Just Seventeen, More, Mizz and felt soo grown up when I started reading Cosmo!

I remember in one (maybe J17) the middle spread had outlines of bum sizes, you were supposed to sit on it to see how huge your arse was! If it was out of the ‘acceptable’ range they told you how to shrink it!! No wonder my generation are messed up with body image and dieting!

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 27/02/2021 15:20

@CaffeineAndCrochet

Back in the days before data protection and GDPR was a thing, I was on the penpal pages of Shout. My home address was printed. I think I got about 800 letters sent to me.
I got a pen pal through the pages of Select magazine. It was a slightly alternative music magazine and every advert seemed to be people who were into the Manics, Blur etc. Luckily, they printed box numbers rather than addresses so you could filter out the weirdos. I exchanged mixtapes and long letters with my pen pal for ages and we eventually had a very awkward meet up in London to see a gig! I wonder what happened to her.

Makes me miss writing letters actually. Although writing to my French pen pal was a chore.

Skatastic · 27/02/2021 15:07

I remember very specifically in More that they asked for sex tips off celebrities and Peter Andre said something along the lines of "pop an alka seltzer up her and watch her go crazy with the fizz". Hmm

BestZebbie · 27/02/2021 15:05

No one has mentioned the quizzes! “Mostly A” you are a cool sophisticate, “Mostly B” you are normal, “Mostly C” give up now (though you might have a nice personality and make your friends laugh).

FrenchFancie · 27/02/2021 15:04

Oh I remember these so well! I was at an all girls boarding school and got detention for being caught with the (much passed around) copy of more.
And I tried the ‘lemon juice on the hair’ thing on a school trip to Greece and the horrible smell made be barf on the coach.
I used to use mascara on my eyebrows for longer then I would care to admit, and I’m another one who did the ‘no foundation on your forehead’ thing for far too long. And buying lip liner a shade darker than the lipstick for some bloody reason that’s lost to the 90s.
The 90s was a very fun time to grow up!!

SooMoony · 27/02/2021 15:03

@Coldwinterahead1

God it was set madGrin
I Met a Nut on the Internet - that sounds familiar. But was internet dating a thing back then?
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