Page 10 | Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

SmidgenofaPigeon · 2021-02-27T10:21:12+00:00

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines? I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily. I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’ Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off. Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went. I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party [confused] What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot. Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious [grin]

HmmmmmmInteresting · 28/02/2021 01:36

@Iamthewombat

Girl magazine was great (for 10-12 year olds, as I was then). It had photo stories that were not all about love and boyfriends. Although some were, but they were very much ‘starter’ romance stories for pre-teens, e.g. girl goes on TV quiz, takes best mate to filming, they stay overnight in a hotel, best mate fancies TV quiz rival (a boy), cops off with him and tells him her friend’s weakest subjects!

I am surprised that it merged with My Guy which was full on “how to get your man at the disco and of course you will be married at age 21”. I was embarrassed to be seen with My Guy. The cover was always a teenage couple in acid washed denim, embracing. I used to sometimes get it with a bundle of mixed back issues from the market, 10p a bundle (late 80s). I can remember a couple of the photo stories:

girl breaks up with faithful boyfriend after being romanced by flash Harry ‘office hunk’, agreed to marry hunk, boyfriend rescues her on his motorbike outside the church. Absolutely not inspired by The Graduate.

girls are envious that a rival who does Jane Fonda’s workout gets all the cool boys but they don’t. They embark on a diet and exercise plan, in doing so breaking one of the girls’ collection of glass animals (??!), then emerge swan like in dreadful 1980s Richards Shops frocks before deciding that they should have stuck with the uncool boys.

Wow, how do you remember all this?! I think I wrote into the mag once and had something published, just a short paragraph, but I can't for the life of me think what it was. I'm thinking it was towards the beginning of the magazine. Was there a bit where people wrote in, but not long pieces such as an agony aunt column?You'd think I'd keep hold of the issue. I wish I'd kept all my old copies now...would be fun to look back.

I used to love be the photo stories...I think they were my favourite bit!

HmmmmmmInteresting · 28/02/2021 01:29

Yay, glad two people remember Girl magazine! That's right, it was quite wholesome compared to other mags, because I remember when they stopped making it I didn't have an alternative because others seemed too old for me.

Iamthewombat · 28/02/2021 01:22

I ruined my mate's kid sister's illusions when I told her the characters in the photo stories were models and showed her a picture of my cousin (who was in one of them) to prove it. That was in the 1980s

Ha! That has reminded me! Girl magazine once ran a feature telling readers to stop writing in asking whether they could be a photo story model. It went a bit like, “sorry girls, the photographers decide who they use and they already know enough photo story models”.

Iamthewombat · 28/02/2021 01:20

I’ve just recalled another feature from the long-forgotten Catch magazine in 1989.

They took two young female members of the cast of Brookside - don’t know the actresses’ names but it was Sammy Rogers and Tracy Corkhill - shopping in Liverpool with £100 each to see what they bought.

Photographs showed them wandering down the main shopping street dressed to the nines in Dynasty-style tailored outfits. One of them wore a bright green trouser suit with wide legs and a short sleeved double breasted jacket.

I don’t know why this has stuck in my mind when I can barely remember what I ate for dinner on Thursday but anyway, Tracy Corkhill bought an ethnic waistcoat in Oasis for £60 (top dollar in 1989) but later in the day decided that “it looks like a rag, I’m not having it, it’s going back”. She got a frilly white satin blouse instead. They ended up with a random collection of stuff that wasn’t an outfit: rings and so on.

That will be why the magazine folded. Not enough barking mad features like that.

FaceyRomford · 28/02/2021 01:20

I ruined my mate's kid sister's illusions when I told her the characters in the photo stories were models and showed her a picture of my cousin (who was in one of them) to prove it. That was in the 1980s. She was 15 and still reminds me of it!

Iamthewombat · 28/02/2021 01:12

Girl magazine was great (for 10-12 year olds, as I was then). It had photo stories that were not all about love and boyfriends. Although some were, but they were very much ‘starter’ romance stories for pre-teens, e.g. girl goes on TV quiz, takes best mate to filming, they stay overnight in a hotel, best mate fancies TV quiz rival (a boy), cops off with him and tells him her friend’s weakest subjects!

I am surprised that it merged with My Guy which was full on “how to get your man at the disco and of course you will be married at age 21”. I was embarrassed to be seen with My Guy. The cover was always a teenage couple in acid washed denim, embracing. I used to sometimes get it with a bundle of mixed back issues from the market, 10p a bundle (late 80s). I can remember a couple of the photo stories:

girl breaks up with faithful boyfriend after being romanced by flash Harry ‘office hunk’, agreed to marry hunk, boyfriend rescues her on his motorbike outside the church. Absolutely not inspired by The Graduate.

girls are envious that a rival who does Jane Fonda’s workout gets all the cool boys but they don’t. They embark on a diet and exercise plan, in doing so breaking one of the girls’ collection of glass animals (??!), then emerge swan like in dreadful 1980s Richards Shops frocks before deciding that they should have stuck with the uncool boys.

PhylisNightsIsAwesome · 28/02/2021 01:06

[quote MustardMitt]@PhylisNightsIsAwesome was Collette a bit alternative, at one point wore her mum's old waistcoat and some chunky silver rings? It's all sounding so familiar!

I’m pretty sure Vernon Kay got his break modelling for Mizz or More. I remember seeing his photos. Didn’t get the what the fuss was about then, either - I am almost certain he actually won his modelling break in a competition. I vaguely remember having a conversation with someone when he started being on tv, as I had voted for him

Those twins, Keith and Derek, I had that exact picture on my wall. I have identical twin sons now and it kind of grosses me out, that weird pose they're in! I had so many posters. Whenever husband watches some football news on tv I remind him I had a poster of Trevor Sinclair from his West Ham (? I think) days on my wall![/quote]
Yes, she did. Her aunty had given a bag of unwanted vintage clothes and she found some funky rings!

SinisterBumFacedCat · 28/02/2021 00:58

@HmmmmmmInteresting

Does anyone remember Girl magazine from the late 80s/early 90s? I remember it was 50p a week and I was so sad when they stopped making it.

I loved Girl Magazine! Then it merged with My Guy, turned into a photo story Mills and boon and faded away, such a shame!

I remember one of my old friends ditched us for the popular group, who then used that as an excuse to bully us. She wrote to the problem pages Just 17 about how terrible her life was. While her new friends were beating us up.

MustardMitt · 28/02/2021 00:51

@PhylisNightsIsAwesome was Collette a bit alternative, at one point wore her mum's old waistcoat and some chunky silver rings? It's all sounding so familiar!

I’m pretty sure Vernon Kay got his break modelling for Mizz or More. I remember seeing his photos. Didn’t get the what the fuss was about then, either - I am almost certain he actually won his modelling break in a competition. I vaguely remember having a conversation with someone when he started being on tv, as I had voted for him

Those twins, Keith and Derek, I had that exact picture on my wall. I have identical twin sons now and it kind of grosses me out, that weird pose they're in! I had so many posters. Whenever husband watches some football news on tv I remind him I had a poster of Trevor Sinclair from his West Ham (? I think) days on my wall!

HmmmmmmInteresting · 28/02/2021 00:39

Does anyone remember Girl magazine from the late 80s/early 90s? I remember it was 50p a week and I was so sad when they stopped making it.

GrandTheftWalrus · 28/02/2021 00:38

I think I read about 3 copies of "girly" magazines then went back to reading my mums take a break etc.

I preferred reading and the shout etc mags didn't have much to actually read in them.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 28/02/2021 00:37

That Kylie cover reminds me that whenever a band went out of fashion they were known as going 'down the dumper'! I had just about every Smash Hits from about 1988 - 1990 but got rid of them. WHY?!

Mrsfrumble · 28/02/2021 00:27

Yes to the holiday romance! I used to go to self catering cottage in Cornwall with my family for long cliff walks to deserted beaches, I read the ‘what to pack’ sort of features with feelings of inadequacy

Me too. Not much call for a white crochet bikini, sarong and coconut scented sunscreen in North Wales.

At least I was never tempted towards the classic holiday wardrobe staple of white trousers. Because I knew from the Cringe pages that wearing them would somehow inevitably result in me getting a surprise period or shitting myself Probably while in the company of my dreamy holiday crush.

CherryValanc · 28/02/2021 00:27

There were so many different ones weren't there!!

I loved them - especially when there was a free gift. The more grown up ones never read then at home though.

In the summer I would be shipped off to my grandparents in the West of Ireland and the shop in there village used to sell bundles of them (back copies they didn't sell i presume) for not a lot. I can't for the life if me remember which magazine but I don't know why my grandparents didn't object because they weren't tame!

I recall wondering what the ads in the back pages where about (that were blacked out) now i imagine it was the ads for crisis pregnancy and abortion clinics but in my head they were far raunchier and some exotic sex stuff.😃

minipilling · 28/02/2021 00:22

Oh I just remembered an embarrassing moment from Shout which was a girl trying to make a cheese toastie in her dad's trouser press and it melting all over the place! And one where the girl lied and said she got cancer to meet her fave boyband (!!!)

user1473878824 · 28/02/2021 00:16

@Wondermule

Yes I remember 😂😂 my Saturday morning consisted of a trip to the shop with £5 for Mizz, Shout, a Mars bar and whatever my mum asked me to pick up.

The ‘CRINGE’ page usually consisted of readers accidentally showing people their sanitary towels, or sneezing while walking past their ‘crush’ in the street.

You’re right, they were just manuals on how to get boys to notice you! (With a free clear lip gloss of course)

I’ve just burst out into a huge fit of laughter at the sneezing because oh my god I LOVED the cringe bits so much.

minipilling · 28/02/2021 00:09

Also I was a regular reader of Shout magazine. I remember 'true life stories' about someone who had OCD and over hand-washing (her parents were smokers and she couldn't stand the smell on herself). Someone who helped out an old lady for a bit of pocket money and she confessed to stealing a pile of cash as well and buying clothes and makeup with it and feeling guilty afterwards!

A lot of ghost stories in Shout as well which I loved (they sometimes had free little sleepover books with sleepover tips and spooky stories!)

minipilling · 28/02/2021 00:06

When I was about 14 (in 1998/9) my mum's younger colleague gave me a copy of 19 magazine because it had an interview with Alyson Hannigan from Buffy and I loved her. I don't think the colleague realized I was a naive little geek/and or hadn't noticed that the magazine was insanely sexual (being for 19 year olds). I was quite scandalized by the content and lurid talk of shagging blokes. From what I remember, that issue had 'how to tell a guy's good in bed from his dancing style' featuring Robbie Williams and Enrique Iglesias as examples and fairly graphic descriptions! Plus little snippets from readers about sexcapades, stuff about positions, something about a pink mug with a willy for a handle with milky tea in it (with a photo!)
If anyone happens to have that issue I'd love to read it again (it had a really weird/interesting article on how to eat according to your star sign cravings!)

APJ1 · 27/02/2021 23:29

@BrumBoo Oh yes, my mother used to buy me Shout and Mizz in a desperate attempt to make me 'girl' better.

Haha, mine did the same!

toucancancan · 27/02/2021 23:07

Does anyone remember the early Kate Moss photoshoot in Mizz? (might have been been her first. I think she was about 14.

grassisjeweled · 27/02/2021 23:07

Omg look at Kylie! So young

toucancancan · 27/02/2021 23:04

Also

toucancancan · 27/02/2021 23:02

This is a great thread! Had a dig about and find a pile of old Smash Hits stashed away 🙂

hellosummersun · 27/02/2021 23:02

Do they have any similar teenage girl magazines nowadays?

Tanith · 27/02/2021 22:57

"Why didn't they tell you, when giving you the "egg white will make your hair shine" thing, to use cold water to rinse???"

My friend and I came home from school one day to find her mum sat looking mournful, with what looked like scrambled egg in her hair.
She'd tried the egg tip she'd found in my friend's magazine and used hot water: took us ages to help comb it all out!

They also suggested using Eau de Cologne to freshen up hair if there was no time to wash it: I gave myself an allergic reaction trying that one.