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Original poster

Guess what I've been sent...

453 replies

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 15:47

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Guess what I've been sent...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Royalty2k · 26/01/2021 23:40

Wow lol 😂🤣

midlifecrash · 26/01/2021 23:37

I am doing a Wrong Thing and copying in a post from a completely different thread about accidents, because... well because...

"I had incontinence issues after having DD and her stupidly big head.
The continence nurse gave me metal pelvic floor aids. The were like a rounded triangle shape, and came in various sizes. You put them inside and went down sizes when you were able to clench them so they stayed in place.
The first one I used shot straight back out as soon as I stood up and broke a bone on top of my foot and a toe.
I told everyone I dropped a frozen chicken on it."

SquirtleSquad · 26/01/2021 23:36

You could name each one after a goddess of fertility from different lands, not forgetting their Albanian roots by using their pagan goddess of beauty, love and fertility - Prende.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/01/2021 23:34

[quote Tambourinetunes]Do you have any empty water bottles? I was looking for a new bottle and saw these www.asos.com/psychic-sisters/psychic-sisters-rose-quartz-crystal-water-bottle/prd/13839804?colourwayid=16570343&SearchQuery=water%20bottle[/quote]
Most recent review: IT LEAKS AT THE BOTTOM. Sad

Hawkins001 · 26/01/2021 23:34

@Puzzledandpissedoff

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend

Grin Grin

Trim the pubes, unless there rocking the rock party
Hawkins001 · 26/01/2021 23:33

A possible, title, a vulva on the rocks x

Tambourinetunes · 26/01/2021 23:29

Do you have any empty water bottles? I was looking for a new bottle and saw these www.asos.com/psychic-sisters/psychic-sisters-rose-quartz-crystal-water-bottle/prd/13839804?colourwayid=16570343&SearchQuery=water%20bottle

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/01/2021 23:23

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend

Grin Grin

WINKINGatyourage · 26/01/2021 23:21

You know when I read the thread title I guessed “a dick pic”, turns out I was pretty close in an opposite kinda way Grin

MildlySpicyCurry · 26/01/2021 23:20

I genuinely want a rose quartz fanny now. How much are you flogging them for, OP?

Bedforme · 26/01/2021 23:19

@TheSockMonster

Would it be too narcissistic to buy the one that looks like mine (no, I’m not saying which one) for DH to take with him when he’s working away, so he can stroke it and think of me..?
After airport customs rifles through suitcase “Ok sir it tests negative for drugs, so what do you actually do with it?”
fuckrightoff · 26/01/2021 23:18

Omg fossilised fannies and track my minge had me howling but the image in my head of some lass in front of me in the Sainsbury's queue sneezing and laying a crystal egg has finished me off I'm crying GrinGrinGrin

CostaDelCovid · 26/01/2021 23:12

But...but why do they have little dots all over the flaps?!?! Fannies with chicken pox?!?

FossilisedFanny · 26/01/2021 23:11

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend.

FlamedToACrisp · 26/01/2021 23:08

@ChaosTrulyReigns

I reckon there's an analyst at Amazon wondering why sales of plaster of Paris has gone through the roof.

Many Mumsnetters plotting their own Lockdown crafts of Poor Man's Crystal vulvas.

Wink

Ay, well, if it keeps the kids busy...
theconstantinoplegardener · 26/01/2021 23:07

Oh, they're quite pretty. I reckon if you described them as crystal shells , you could shift them without upsetting granny.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 26/01/2021 23:02

I reckon there's an analyst at Amazon wondering why sales of plaster of Paris has gone through the roof.

Many Mumsnetters plotting their own Lockdown crafts of Poor Man's Crystal vulvas.

Wink
SquirtleSquad · 26/01/2021 23:02

Or like this (replace orange segment with vulva) and change the background colour to match the crystal

Guess what I've been sent...
FossilisedFanny · 26/01/2021 23:01

Don’t arrange them on a shag pile carpet !

SquirtleSquad · 26/01/2021 23:00

I think you should lay naked with goddess like accessories in your hair and have them in a circle of feminine protection surrounding you, with one single vulva laying in your hands which protect your own and have the photo taken from above.. princess kumquat of the cunt kingdom 👑

SoDiorDarling · 26/01/2021 22:57

Personally I'd inappropriately lay a finger (or 2) where necessary.

Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 22:54

Sorry, vulva. They didn't come with the internal parts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 22:52

I'm going to take photos tomorrow and list them. I'll just quietly add them to my shop without posting on the social media page because I'm a pussy coward.

The only problem is, how the hell do I stage the photos? Should I cup them lovingly in my hands? That seems to be the preferred presentation method on Etsy. Arrange them in a protective circle around myself? A free vagina to whoever comes up with the best theme for my fanny photoshoot!

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 26/01/2021 22:52

Shame you can't link us to your shop 🤣

JustHavinABreak · 26/01/2021 22:40

Lying in a hospital bed in awful pain here and despite the fact that it hurts even more when I laugh, I'm howling like a loon to myself Grin They're going to haul me off for a psych assessment next if I don't start to control myself Blush

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