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Original poster

Guess what I've been sent...

453 replies

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 15:47

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Guess what I've been sent...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
TheChampagneGalop · 27/01/2021 18:58

Oh the crystal fanjos have been a success!
So happy for you OP Grin

ImsorryWilson · 27/01/2021 18:54

that's a cracking update OP. rofl.

Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 27/01/2021 18:52

I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.

I've also had some lovely messages from people on this thread. I'm so happy I made a few of you laugh during these difficult times. I will also send a thank you note to the supplier for their very fortunate cock up.

I've hidden the vulvas behind a front cover picture on Instagram as I'm not THAT brave yet! I posted another picture with a little nod to all of you in the caption. I would never have known there was a market for crystal fannies without you lot.

OP posts:
SquirtleSquad · 27/01/2021 16:19

@SoupDragon

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film

In The Anna Jones and her Crystal Cunt?

GrinGrinGrin
SoupDragon · 27/01/2021 16:12

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film

In The Anna Jones and her Crystal Cunt?

CaraDuneRedux · 27/01/2021 16:08

@SoupDragon

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

She won't be accidentally laying an egg in Sainsbury's that's for sure. Pelvic floor of quartz.

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film Grin
SoupDragon · 27/01/2021 15:54

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

She won't be accidentally laying an egg in Sainsbury's that's for sure. Pelvic floor of quartz.

StCharlotte · 27/01/2021 15:54

Much

StCharlotte · 27/01/2021 15:53

As a post-menopausal woman, I can assure you a fossilized fanny is no laughing matter.

Bluesheep8 · 27/01/2021 15:39

Labias lazuli

SquirtleSquad · 27/01/2021 15:38

It's the most recent insta post but you need to scroll there's a few photos on that one post. OP presumably didn't make it too obvious for her DGrandmother

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/01/2021 15:30

I can’t see the Insta fannies

Copy and paste the etsy link on there Grin

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 27/01/2021 15:30

I also did see all, now reading back and crying at burst pasty and track my minge Grin

BruceAndNosh · 27/01/2021 15:29

@coldsunnydays

What on earth did you type into google?

Crystal cunt, presumably. Grin

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

God knows what her superpower is, but I suspect men will end up emasculated if they tangle with her.

I am CRYSTAL CUNT!!! Mwah hahahaha

StCharlotte · 27/01/2021 15:27

I came on this thread. Rolled my eyes and thanked the Lord for the "see all" feature. I was not expecting that.

Marvellous.

Classics indeed Grin

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 27/01/2021 15:24

OP please don't change your user name, I think it would be fun that you can be immortalised on MN as the poonani poster or some such.Grin

KennethBakeOff · 27/01/2021 15:16

@Blueraccoon

Yoni Eggs are carved from crystals into the shape of eggs. They are inserted into the vagina for up to 12 hours per day for the purpose of strengthening the vaginal muscles, connecting with your Sacred femininity, and toning the pelvic floor.

But what if your pelvic floor isn’t up to it? Do you end up laying an egg in the middle of Sainsbury’s?

Oh Jesus Christ I've just remembered that my parents had several quartz/ onyx eggs tastefully arranged as ornaments in the late 70's/ Early 80's.

Someone pass the mind bleach if you'd be so kind.
ConfusedEnvyConfusedEnvyConfusedEnvy

FossilisedFanny · 27/01/2021 15:06

I can’t see the Insta fannies 😩

itsbiganditsorange · 27/01/2021 14:56

Is anyone else imagining the committee at a desk inspecting the vulvas they have secretly bought?

No, but I am imagining the production line at the factory where they're made.
"So... what did you do at work today darling?"
"Er..."

ImsorryWilson · 27/01/2021 14:43

Is anyone else imagining the committee at a desk inspecting the vulvas they have secretly bought?

OP confess- when you opened them did you think "omg I've arrived I'm finally getting into classics"?

SquirtleSquad · 27/01/2021 14:16

@Gotthetshirt23

You ordered carved rock dildos and they sent fannies

I've just spat my coffee across my laptop !
Classics nomination ?

It's been nominated and is going before the classics nomination committee Grin
Arrivederci · 27/01/2021 13:54

OP I completely love how you have posed them on your Instagram shop

Gotthetshirt23 · 27/01/2021 13:51

You ordered carved rock dildos and they sent fannies

I've just spat my coffee across my laptop !
Classics nomination ?

GwendolineMarysLaces · 27/01/2021 13:45

I knew yoni was going to be in there somewhere. I wonder what happened to Brian ?

Shutupyoutart · 27/01/2021 13:41

Love this thread, it has made my day im sitting cackling. thanks op!

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