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Original poster

Guess what I've been sent...

453 replies

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 15:47

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Guess what I've been sent...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
LadyWhistledownthe1st · 30/01/2021 17:27

I’ve got 30 fannies in rose quartz. Oh I’m done

mumoftinyterrors · 30/01/2021 17:27

It's a friend's 40th in a few weeks.... something i think she'd appreciate 🤣🤣🤣

ImsorryWilson · 30/01/2021 17:25

Lizflowers :)

Deathraystare · 30/01/2021 17:00

I can see a 'Daily Fail' headlline now...

TheChampagneGalop · 30/01/2021 16:18

Who knew this would be the hot home decor trend of 2021?

52andblue · 30/01/2021 15:51

Me too! It's lovely :)

Gurufloof · 30/01/2021 15:33

The blue, is it lapis lazuli? It's got gold running through it, very pretty.

52andblue · 30/01/2021 15:00

@Gurufloof
which colour did you choose?

Gurufloof · 30/01/2021 14:13

Ah omg I have now received my semi precious fanny.
I think it looks better than my actual fanny, but I haven't looked at mine for a very long time.
I admit I forgot I ordered it (menopause) and I was thinking where has this beautifully wrapped parcel come from. Its sooo pretty.

LizFlowers · 29/01/2021 23:51

Here's a nice little book written before minge crystals became fashionable:

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Book-Minge-Topiary/dp/1843170515?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

LizFlowers · 29/01/2021 23:49

@MimsyBorogroves

Mumsnet minge marketing at its finest.
Wonderful :-).

We're allowed to say 'minge' now instead of 'vulva'?

Minge, minge, minge, minge.......

Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 29/01/2021 20:37

@CompleteBarstool She did ask me! I said home decor item. I go there almost every day to post boxes (of other shop items, not fanjos). I think she may have fainted if I looked her straight in the eye and said "minge".

OP posts:
Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 29/01/2021 20:34

@52andblue

I am now the proud owner of 1 real vulva and 1 semiprecious vulva For display (not 'personal use') Grin

If anyone else is tempted, I got the exact one I ordered, (upthread, so now a famous semiprecious vulva too)- it came really beautifully wrapped:) (and no, I'm not on commission!)

I feel like MN royalty now Grin

I'm so pleased you like it! When I open my crystal fanny superstore on Oxford Street I won't forget the people who supported me in the beginning Grin
OP posts:
MimsyBorogroves · 29/01/2021 18:46

Mumsnet minge marketing at its finest.

CompleteBarstool · 29/01/2021 18:44

@Kumquatsquash congratulations on your sales.

Have you thought about what you're going to say when you go to post them and the woman/man at the Post Office asks " for safety reasons can I ask what's in the parcel?" Grin

I dare you to remain straight-faced and just say "crystal fannies".

ivfbabymomma1 · 29/01/2021 18:33

I might as well just do my Xmas shopping with you now.

52andblue · 29/01/2021 18:31

I am now the proud owner of 1 real vulva and 1 semiprecious vulva
For display (not 'personal use') Grin

If anyone else is tempted, I got the exact one I ordered, (upthread, so now a famous semiprecious vulva too)- it came really beautifully wrapped:) (and no, I'm not on commission!)

I feel like MN royalty now Grin

Osquito · 28/01/2021 17:43

PetrifiedPussy? SemiPreciousPoon? Gemitalia?

I love the things, seriously considering getting one for Dsis who is getting into crystals etc but doesn’t want to admit it.

FossilisedFanny · 27/01/2021 22:52

You can’t use Fozzillized Fanny , I’ll get all confused. CrystalCunt has a nice ring to it

Whythesadface · 27/01/2021 20:52

FozzilzedFanny.

ImsorryWilson · 27/01/2021 20:07

“I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.”

“Myvulvahasbeenviewed”?

Soubriquet · 27/01/2021 19:43

Very much so Grin

Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 27/01/2021 19:35

@Soubriquet

Dare I ask how much you are selling them for?
£22 with free UK delivery Smile

I'd say that's a bargain for semi-precious vulva.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/01/2021 19:30

I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.

😂😂

Soubriquet · 27/01/2021 19:30

Dare I ask how much you are selling them for?

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