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Original poster

Guess what I've been sent...

453 replies

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 15:47

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Guess what I've been sent...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Whatsnewpussyhat · 26/01/2021 17:13

I clicked on this thread thinking it would be the usual dull item with the OP dragging it out for hours.
How wrong was I!!

😂😂😂😂😂

AndIquote · 26/01/2021 17:13

PunYoni Grin

ChocolateCherrybomb · 26/01/2021 17:11

What does one do to activate it's powers, lick it, rub it gently or if you're a bloke, poke it randomly till it shouts, "oh, for fuck sake".

Whatflavourjellybabyisnice · 26/01/2021 17:10

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

Amphetamines?
GrinGrinGrin
TheChampagneGalop · 26/01/2021 17:09

In case someone feels inspired by this thread and want to stick some yoni crystals up their fanjo, don't. It can actually be harmful.
www.health.com/condition/sexual-health/jade-egg-goop

Whythesadface · 26/01/2021 17:09

About to RTT.

Merename · 26/01/2021 17:09

I suspect your elderly nan would actually be totally fascinated and unfazed by a quartz fanny. Older women are usually not shocked by anything.

zenasfuck · 26/01/2021 17:08

I really want a rose quartz minge

DinnaeFashSassenach · 26/01/2021 17:07

Meanwhile some poor sod is putting their parcel details into Track My Minge to find out what's happened to their delivery...

MY SIDES ARE KILLING ME NOW!!! Owwwww! I laughed far too much at that.

Latenightreader · 26/01/2021 17:04

Oh goodness, and I have a zoom call about my new job in a couple of minutes. No idea how I’m going to keep a straight face with that image floating in my mind...

MaelyssQ · 26/01/2021 17:03

That's stocking fillers and Secret Santa presents for the next few years Grin

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 26/01/2021 17:02

Are they “accurate” ? Can they be used as incense holders?

Boltonb · 26/01/2021 17:01

@psychomath

I thought it was posh soap from your first picture and was going to say at least you could melt it down and re-mould it... no idea what you're supposed to do with 30 crystal fannies though GrinGrinGrin
I suspect they would sell out just from this thread 😂
Soaringhigh · 26/01/2021 17:01

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Horehound · 26/01/2021 17:00

@Kumquatsquash

I ordered raw, untumbled crystals. I've got 30 fannies in Lapis lazuli, amazonite and rose quartz.
Omg!!! Lol I certainly wasn't expecting that haha
Anne1958 · 26/01/2021 17:00

I absolutely love lapis lazuli but that one kind of looks like the model has a wicked case of labial lichen sclerosus

I’m hoping that was a lucky guess and we haven’t actually met in real life.

psychomath · 26/01/2021 17:00

I thought it was posh soap from your first picture and was going to say at least you could melt it down and re-mould it... no idea what you're supposed to do with 30 crystal fannies though GrinGrinGrin

QueenOfLabradors · 26/01/2021 17:00

I thought the CF in-laws ski chalet zombie thread resurrection was the pick of the day... And then I found this! Thank you for the giggles OP and everyone else with the crystal vulva puns Grin!

SuperlativeScrubs · 26/01/2021 17:00
Hmm
Guess what I've been sent...
SuperlativeScrubs · 26/01/2021 16:59

Forgot to include. Behold!

Guess what I've been sent...
bibbidybobbidyboo · 26/01/2021 16:58

OP if you do open a new shop specially for these may I suggest you name it ForeverNether

Original poster
Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 16:58

@TheChampagneGalop

Look www.etsy.com/se-en/listing/922957290/25-agate-yoni-crystal-carving-vagina Now we can all get our own! Expensive though, you can make some money OP.
£45! And mine are better, even if I do say so myself!
OP posts:
DialSquare · 26/01/2021 16:58

@TheChampagneGalop

Stroke them for relaxation. I think stroking your own would be more rewarding, and cheaper.
I've got two hands.
rwalker · 26/01/2021 16:58

Christmas presents say there paper weights

SuperlativeScrubs · 26/01/2021 16:58

A friend of mine recommended these crystal wands (not the exact picture but the same thing).

They were listed under healing dildos. She was mortified when I pointed it out to her.