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Original poster

Guess what I've been sent...

453 replies

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 15:47

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

CandyLeBonBon · 26/01/2021 17:42

Well that was unexpected 😂😂😂😂

binkyblinky · 26/01/2021 17:40

This is amazing!!!

Original poster

Kumquatsquash · 26/01/2021 17:38

@GoudaGirl

Of course possibly to use to meditate whilst on you very own yoni electric steam throne (not recommended by the way) whilst wearing a beguiling yoni steam cape. www.etsy.com/uk/listing/848066853/deluxe-electric-steam-throne There's a veritable catalogue of items to curate for a theme based shop in etsy to be had. I never knew there was so much pampering to be done..

The 3rd review on that says "came fast"! 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

Xmasfairy86 · 26/01/2021 17:38

This cheered me up a tad 🤣

ImsorryWilson · 26/01/2021 17:37

"...Secret Santa presents..."

ROFL

katieg03 · 26/01/2021 17:36

Omg we have one of those in the office. Absolutely god knows why. I work with 9 guys and they constantly go round and put it on each others desktop depending on who is the most annoying that week/day. Think they might be too scared to put it on mine. Ive no idea why we have it, no one wants to own up!

carlaCox · 26/01/2021 17:35

I'll take one of the lapis lazuli please! And in case there aren't enough yoni crystals to go round, a yoga teacher of mine once made one out of paper mache. So there's a lockdown craft project for you all.

Hugoslavia · 26/01/2021 17:34

Hilarious!!

GoudaGirl · 26/01/2021 17:32

Of course possibly to use to meditate whilst on you very own yoni electric steam throne (not recommended by the way) whilst wearing a beguiling yoni steam cape.
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/848066853/deluxe-electric-steam-throne
There's a veritable catalogue of items to curate for a theme based shop in etsy to be had. I never knew there was so much pampering to be done..

Kittytheteapot · 26/01/2021 17:28

@SuperlativeScrubs

Forgot to include. Behold!

Yup, that's the kind of thing we supply.

needadvice54321 · 26/01/2021 17:27

I've just laughed at a very inappropriate time during the BoJo update

Weirdlynormal · 26/01/2021 17:25

@TheChampagneGalop

Stroke them for relaxation. I think stroking your own would be more rewarding, and cheaper.

Troof

ArabellaScott · 26/01/2021 17:25

By untumbled - presumably you mean virgins? Also 'bugger to open' - have you tried some relaxing music and dimming the lights?

Lurkingforawhile · 26/01/2021 17:25

I'd never had guessed that. Obviously.

butterpuffed · 26/01/2021 17:23

Resell and label as Fannytastics.

elfycat · 26/01/2021 17:23

I also sell crystals and stuff, but the ONLY thing I order from Alibaba/AliExpress is the little organza bags I sell them in. After seeing this the bags will remain the only thing I order from them.

If you start up a new shop for these, under a pseudonym may I also suggest you crochet a lot of chain stitches into the most improbably 'underwear' / thongs. Some of the stuff I see on online is 'niche' but not hard to make...

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 26/01/2021 17:22

Flappis lazuli!

ArabellaScott · 26/01/2021 17:21

@ChocolateCherrybomb

What does one do to activate it's powers, lick it, rub it gently or if you're a bloke, poke it randomly till it shouts, "oh, for fuck sake".

RogueV · 26/01/2021 17:21

Brilliant

Breathmiller · 26/01/2021 17:20

@Kumquatsquash

There's more but they are a bugger to open.

Woops quote fail ☝

Whythesadface · 26/01/2021 17:19

I was imagining so blokeat work running round shout to his staff "where's my fannies gone! Has anyone seen my fanny.?"

Breathmiller · 26/01/2021 17:19

If you're buggering them to open them you're doing it all wrong.

Cocolapew · 26/01/2021 17:18

"track my minge"

CustardCreamm · 26/01/2021 17:15

Amazing 😂

andyoldlabour · 26/01/2021 17:13

Did it have a return address mentioning a Mr Pablo Escobar?

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